Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux
by The Drifter
Summary: After the traumatic events of 6 years ago, Ami works towards rebuilding her life and hunting down the last of the Dark Kingdom - not necessarily in that order. Good thing her friends are there to help her. The sequel of my other fanfic "In The Darkness, She Found Herself: Ami's Story" (Shoujo-ai Rei/Minako, Ami/Mako in the background of the story but not the focus) - COMPLETE!
1. Initiation

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux**

 _Chapter 1 - Initiation: wherein the Ami of the first story is reintroduced, an old enemy resurfaces, and the story begins._

* * *

 **6 years ago**

The twisted form of Dr. Mizuno raised her claws. Sailor Moon was trapped, unconscious and alone with the avatar of Queen Metaria. A barrier of blood and Dark Energy surrounded the two. Sailor Jupiter lay crumpled behind her, thrown back like a ragdoll when she tried to charge through the barrier. Blast after blast of Mars' Burning Mandela bounced off the dome to no avail. Venus's Love-me Chain fared no better.

The Senshi were desperate. Caught outside an impenetrable barrier while the one they lived to protect was inside with the Queen of the Dark Kingdom. They could only watch in horror - hopelessly flinging their powers and bodies against the barrier in a futile attempt to bring it down.

All except one.

Sailor Mercury.

Her visor hid her face well. Her eyes hid her emotions better.

She was Sailor Mercury. Senshi of intelligence. She always knew the answers. She always found a way. She saw weakness, and exploited it. That was her duty.

The barrier had a weakness. Blood.

It was formed from the blood of Saeko Mizuno. Just like she was.

The girl inside her was crying. Screaming for her to find a better way.

Sailor Moon's light was dimming. There was no time to hesitate.

The solider marched forward instead. Cool as ice. Mist formed at her hand. She felt it gain mass, become corporeal. Sharpened into a frozen sword.

She executed her duty.

Mercury walked through the barrier that wouldn't stop her, and drove her sword into her mother's heart.

Metaria had to be banished at all costs.

The barrier rebounded in on itself as the dying Queen lashed out. The blue Senshi was numbly caught in the centre of the storm. Lightning dark energy coursed through her body. The darkness reached out to her as everythign faded to black.

To Mercury, it felt like the the world had collapsed. She heard the screaming long before she realized it was her own...

* * *

 **Present day**

Screaming... the screams brought Ami back to the present.

She woke up from the nightmare shaking, once again reliving the events of 6 years ago. It was a nearly perfect mirror to the events of 3 weeks ago, except the second time around, it was Ami herself who bore the shadow of Metaria in her body.

Ami groaned. She struggled to sit up in the hospital bed so she could see the time. 2 am. Another 8 hours before she was officially released from the hospital. She was wide awake now, and everything hurt. Painkillers tempted her once again, but she needed to stop feeling numb. She almost welcomed the pain. It was a reminder that she was still alive, and Queen Metaria was not. The mostly healed stab wound in her chest throbbed in testament to that fact.

Giving up on sleep, she pulled out the Mercury computer. Maybe, somewhere in all the data and scans she'd done about the Dark Kingdom, she could find a clue as to why her life had gone so far to hell.

Those who failed to learn from history were doomed to repeat it. No more waiting around to be attacked. This time, she was on the offensive. She would see to it that every trace of Metaria, her minions, anything the Dark Kingdom ever touched would be wiped from the face of the earth.

She would destroy the Dark Kingdom, or die trying.

* * *

 **Meanwhile in London**

A faint stench of death hung in the air. 6 men sat around a conference table inside the derelict warehouse that served as their boardroom. An unexpected meeting place for the board of directors of a high powered investment banking company, but secrecy was a top priority. No one could know they were connected to such unsavoury business.

The new chairman of the board stood up. She had several items on her agenda to clear.

"Good evening gentlemen. I am afraid I have some sad news to share with you all today. Mercury-sama has been temporarily indisposed due to recent events in Tokyo. Yes, I know that is upsetting to you all and we do so hope that she will be back with us shortly. Unfortunately, the Sailor Senshi still live, and, not to worry, we will dispose of them in proper order. Looking ahead, I shall take charge of our operations. We are undergoing an organizational shift at the moment. As such, resources will need to be allocated accordingly. I will be taking the youma prototypes Where, Who, How and When back with me back to Tokyo. Dr. Smith, please send along 'What' as soon as our business here in London is concluded. Please relinquish their control to me at the conclusion of this meeting. We all have lots to do! Any questions?"

She beamed at the other board members. There were no objections in their blank faces. Excellent.

"That brings me neatly to the next item on the agenda. Mr Aristotle Wyman...I see in last month's report that you have lost the youma that was assigned to you? Standing in for you at a party while you were off on a personal affair. For shame...such flagrant misuse of company assets. I'm afraid that we cannot tolerate that sort of behaviour in our organization. You can consider yourself terminated as of this moment."

"Lady Pandora! I..."

His words of protest died in the throat he no longer fully controlled.

The other board members shifted in their chairs uncomfortably, waiting for the bloody conclusion.

Pandora waved her hand idly.

Wyman felt himself reaching into his jacket. Shakily, he pulled out his gun and raised it to his head. His eyes bulged in terror staring at the weapon he held up to his face.

"N-no...please... I..."

 _Bang_

The smell of brains and gunsmoke hung in the air.

Pandora smiled through her hypocrisy. Flagrant misuse of company assets aside, she only had one goal. Mizuno Ami deserved to die.

One last statement to these deluded fools, and then it was time initiate her new plan.

"Excellent. That concludes our business for the day. I trust that we are all on the same page now yes? Wonderful. Thank you gentlemen. I appreciate your patience. It has been a long process and you have all been loyal soldiers. We will conquer the planet and you will be the new kings on Earth! The Dark Kingdom will rise again!"

* * *

 _A.N. Hope you enjoyed "Ami's Story", because after 8 years, there is more of it coming!  
Compared to the first fic, we are going to get outside Ami's head a bit and reintegrate her into the rest of the world slowly.  
In story, we will be following Ami as she (finally) grieves for her loss. Considering that she is a Senshi, things are going to get complicated. _

_If you have not read "In the Darkness, she Found Herself: Ami's Story" it can be found in my profile.  
Other recommended but optional reading includes "A Dark and Stormy Night" and "Immovable/Unstoppable".  
Readers of "One Night in Hong Kong" may recognize the creep Aristotle Wyman and the youma prototype codenamed "Why" from that story._

 _Anyone familiar with Codename Sailor V may also recognize a certain character in play here :)_

 _For those of you following, the sequel will be posted at minimum 2 chapters/week rate. More detailed scheduling can be found in my profile until the story is complete._

 _Please follow or favourite if that is something you are interested in, and I hope it is. It does my ego good ;)_

 _Reviews greatly appreciated and often replied to._

 _Lots of love! Ja ne - Drifter._


	2. Denial

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
Act 1 - First** **Steps**

 _Chapter 2 - Denial: In which absolutely nothing is wrong and Ami returns to life in Tokyo after 6 years away._

* * *

Two hours after leaving the hospital, Ami found herself walking up the familiar steps of the Hikawa Shrine.

Leaving the hospital felt great. The cool spring breeze was refreshing after weeks in that stale antiseptic environment. Ami felt that she'd spent entirely too much time in recovery already.

Her doctors disagreed. Patients weren't normally out of bed so soon after suffering a massive stab wound to the chest. It was a miracle that she was even able to breathe on her own after 2 weeks -wait, no. It was 3 weeks. Ami corrected herself internally. She was apparently in a coma for about a week or so. More time lost. Ami sighed.

Senshi healing powers. Yet another thing that made her inhumanly far ahead of the curve.

The actual miracle was that no one noticed the strange uptick in the number of 24-year-old women being stabbed, recovering at super-human rates and then going to convalesce at the Hikawa Shrine. Rei did it first, but now she as bringing it back full circle. Ami wondered if it was karma - she did stab Rei to begin with. She sighed again. They might as well broadcast their secret identities over the news at this rate. She was too tired to care anymore.

Leaving the hospital, going to Rei's. Good enough.

The Hikawa Shrine had always been her home away from home.

There had been an awkward moment last week when everyone realized she was technically homeless. Rei then kindly offered the temple's spare room to her as a temporary home. "Until you could figure out your future." she said.

Ami frowned. She hadn't actually considered having a future. There were too many loose ends from her past that bothered her still. Ami replayed everything in her mind from the beginning. Queen Metaria possessed her mother. She killed her mother. Queen Metaria possessed her. She killed Queen Metaria. End of story. Except that it wasn't. Two key questions jumped out at her.

How did Metaria come to possess her mother? How was the Dark Kingdom still in existence?

Ami struggled to connect all the pieces. Her objective analysis of recent events beginning to waver.

Flashbacks. The fear on Jupiter's face. Her sword slicing at Sailor Moon's neck. The resistance of her mother's body against as she stabbed.

Ami looked up the stairs.

There. Right there. Blood, red. Dripping. Rei. Face down. Pale. Cold.

Ami stopped in her tracks. That wasn't a flashback. She didn't actually remember stabbing Rei herself, but she knew it happened. It made no difference either way. Her imagination could fill in the details. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea? Maybe she should go back to the Outers' house...

Ami considered it briefly. No. She had intruded on their home life long enough. After everything she'd been through, Hotaru deserved as normal a childhood as she could get. Having Ami around would complicate that. Ami shuddered. 3 weeks ago, her actions led to an 8 year old child suddenly aging several years, transforming into Sailor Saturn and then fighting a duel to the death with a homicidal maniac. Definitely, completely 100% not normal. Thankfully, she had reverted to being an 8 year old child after she de-transformed. She hadn't had to sacrifice her second chance at childhood just to save Ami.

Wait...Hotaru saved her…?

Ami couldn't remember the details, but that felt about right. She let it slide. There was already had enough to feel guilty for without the extra effort of remembering more.

No, Hikawa Shrine was the only place for her right now.

Rei assured her that it wouldn't be any trouble. She didn't have much anyways. Just a backpack of essentials and a trunk full of suspiciously new clothes that Haruka said she outgrew years ago.

That trunk was now halfway up the long staircase. Usagi insisted that she be the one to lug it up – Ami was still technically recovering from severe wounds. Ami smiled... any minute now….yes. There was Mamoru. Usagi pawned off the task of carrying the trunk on him and raced up the stairs to be with her friend.

"Ami-chan! Hi! Are you sure you want to live here with mean old Rei? Michiru's place is much nicer."

Rei made an inarticulate sound from the top of the stairs that Ami mentally translated as "Go fuck yourself". At least some things haven't changed.

"No no, this is fine. The Outers' house is fine too, but after everything, I don't want to make things weird for Hotaru so it's time to move out."

"How is Hotaru? Did she tell you anything?"

"She's surprisingly ok. She just said that it was her turn to protect the Doctor. I'm not quite sure what she means by that. I didn't get a chance to follow up, but she seemed to be taking everything in stride."

Ami shrugged. Usagi gasped.

"Oh! Doctor! Hey! You're a doctor now! Congratulations!"

Ami looked up confused. Congratulations? Right. Doctor. It's supposed to be an achievement. That was her life's dream before. She technically had a medical degree now. Strange that she hadn't really noticed.

Usagi paused at her friend's hesitation.

"I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"

"No, you didn't. Thank you Usagi."

Ami's brain felt slow. Pathways between emotions and logic struggled to connect after such a long period of disuse. and she had never been good at emotions to begin with. What she was feeling now was complicated at best. Still, Usagi's concerned blue eyes motivated her to at least try.

"Sorry, I suppose that was my dream before. Thank you for remembering that. It's just that I haven't really done anything really with being a doctor. Medical school was just going through the motions. I don't think I've actually ever helped anyone…did the bare minimum in practical and then got kicked out of residency. The university swept me under the rug in a research lab after that. I've just been wasting everyone's time and resources. I'm not comfortable being congratulated for that. It's ok though. That's in the past."

Ami frowned, bitter about the 6 years of her life she tried to throw away. Usagi gave her a comforting hug.

"I've missed you Ami-chan. It's been a long six years. Did you make any friends in Germany?"

Ami shook her head. Not even close. Did all the people she hurt count? She shouldn't expect Usagi to understand.

"That must have been hard for you. I couldn't stand being so alone."

"It's ok. It was my choice Usagi. I don't regret it."

The lie slipped out unconsciously, second nature after a lifetime of deflecting. Usagi's kind blue eyes saw right through her mask.

"Regrets aren't a bad thing Ami. I have them too. Lots of things. I ate too much at breakfast, I fed Luna sardines before bed. I make tons of mistakes! That's how I learn. I need to. It's important to learn I think. My biggest regret is also my biggest lesson. I regret that I couldn't get through to Beryl. If we could understand each other sooner, maybe we Metaria wouldn't have had a foothold...maybe I could have spared you all from a lot of pain. Every life we've saved since, the Sisters, Hotaru, Professor Tomoe...its has been in part thanks to Beryl. We couldn't save everyone, but some is better than none! I won't give up. If you ever need to talk, I'll be here to listen. I might not be able to do much, but I will do everything I can."

Usagi flashed her a trademarked Usagi grin. Guaranteed to make anyone feel better, even depressed blue-haired geniuses.

"Besides, I'm proud of you anyways! You're a doctor now and that's that. Whatever else happened is history. You're back. You can move on. Have you thought about what you'll do next?"

"Hmm. A little."

Ami lied with a smile. She really hadn't considered her life beyond destroying the Dark Kingdom, but she couldn't tell Usagi that. She'd keep on lying to the end of time to spare Usagi from having to deal with someone like her. It was for the best.

"Technically, 'Amy Anderson' is the person with the medical degree. Setsuna said that she'd fix that though. I never asked for details."

"Setsuna, our super-lawyer?"

"Oh? She's a lawyer?"

That explained a lot. So much had changed here since she left. Everyone had lives now. Real, honest, normal lives. All Ami had was a fake identity and a hole in the chest.

"Oh yeah! She's amazing! Have you heard about the time she got Minako off of that public disturbance change? Long story short, she got the charges dropped, AND an apology from the mayor. She even got the Parks and Rec people to pay her 10000 yen as a performance fee!"

Ami raised her eyebrow. Minako was still Minako.

Usagi prattled on. Ami was happy to let her tell the long version of the tale. It gave her something to think about other than the complete and utter disaster that was her life at the moment.

* * *

 _A.N. The end of Chapter 2 - the exposition!_

 _Lots of self reflection and bitterness here on Ami's part (and *koff*exposition*koff*koff*). She's not in a great place, but at least she is feeling again. After the events of "Ami's Story", that's a distinct improvement for her, and by extension for me. I personally enjoy the fact that this story is more character driven and Ami has lots of interactions with her friends (unlike the last story). As a writer and as a person, I'm happy to call that "growth". That also leads us very neatly to the next chapter._

 _Our first act begins with some character moments over the next few chapters. It will be a 4 chapter set up for all the upcoming action. Stay tuned!_

 _Sidenote: There is a small reference to my other fanfic "The Little Girl Who Stopped the Silence" in this chapter. It is not required reading at all, but feel free to pop over to check it out. I think it adds some meat to the characterization of Hotaru that I use for this story. We'll be meeting her shortly;)_

 _In a completely self fulfilling moment, I wound up writing out the full story of Minako's public disturbance charge referenced in this chapter (approximately 2 months after I first wrote it here in "Walking Towards Light" as a throwaway comment). The story can be found on profile as Ch 2 in Rei and Minako: Immovable/Unstoppable._

* * *

 _Continuity wise, this story uses mainly anime as it's basis, with manga elements drawn in as appropriate. There shouldn't be anything too universe breaking._

 _For clarity, the Inner Senshi are aged 24-25.  
Career wise, the only plot-relevant ones are Ami being a (failed) doctor, Minako being a police officer, Mamoru being a practicing doctor and the aforementioned super lawyer Setsuna. For flavour purposes, Usagi is a teacher, Mako owns a bakery and Rei has taken over the temple from Grandpa fulltime. Haruka and Michiru remain a racecar driver and classical violinist respectively._

 _Minako being a police officer is taken from Codename Sailor V and is explored a bit more in my other fic "Immovable/Unstoppable" set 5 years before this story._

* * *

 _Thank you for reading! See you in Chapter 3. PM or Reviews welcome._


	3. Firefly

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Act 1 - First Steps

 _Chapter 3: Firefly - In which Ami takes a walk, makes a new friend and receives a dinner invitation she can't refuse._

 _Author's note: The Hotaru of this story is 8 years old and actually managed to grow to that age like a normal girl, no acceleraging. I love her so much. *squee*_

* * *

Two weeks out of the hospital and Ami already wished she could go back. As restless as she was lying in bed there, at least everything was familiar. It was medicine. That was her world.

Now she was out in the real world. Minako had insisted that she go out for a walk. "For your own good" she had said... "You need to be aired out" she implied. Before she knew what was what, she found herself kicked out of the Rei's temple for the afternoon. Ami protested - she had work to do, she was researching the enemy, she was re-building the Mercury Computer - but here was no reasoning with Minako. Hurricane Aino was a force of nature.

Ami grumbled. Mizuno Ami, top-score-on-every-exam-ever Mizuno Ami, wandering around the streets of Tokyo all afternoon like the homeless unemployed bum that she was. No one saw that coming. Smart money would have been on Usagi back in the day, or even Minako.

Ami stopped.

No, that was unfair. All her friends had moved on with their lives and made something of themselves while she spent the past 6 years wasting away. No, that wasn't fair again. Even during the depths of her crazy, arguably Queen Metaria induced depression, she'd managed to hold down a job. Score one for Dark Mercury.

Frustrating.

She tried to focus on learning more about the events of the recent past. Locked herself in her room at the temple to research every angle she could think of. Her mother, Queen Metaria, Dark Kingdom. They connected somehow. So far she had no leads. Zip. Zero. Nada. All she'd managed to do was to build a safety mode in her Mercury Computer as a safeguard against her turning dark again. A purely defensive move.

Very frustrating.

"Mizuno-san?"

Gah. Ami jumped out of her thoughts. The littlest senshi popped out from around the corner. Ami checked her watch. It was after school time now. Great. Another day wasted.

"Hotaru-chan... you know, after everything we've been through together. I think you can call me Ami."

It seemed wrong to be addressed respectfully by _Hotaru_. 8 years old and already carrying the responsibilities of the Senshi of Ruin...on the other hand, first name familiarity with Death, Destroyer of Worlds. That about summed up her life. Ami stopped her train of thought again. She was in a bad mood, sure, but she couldn't bear to take it out on Hotaru. She was just a kid.

"…Ami-san?"

Hotaru tested it out and nodded. It worked.

"Ami-san…you don't like me anymore? You didn't come home with us after you left the hospital."

Leave it to a child to cut straight to the point.

"No Hotaru-chan. It's not you. It's me. I was worried that I would make things more….difficult for you."

"Oh? Because we had a fight last month?"

Understatement of the year. Ami distinctly remembered trying cleave Sailor Saturn's head in two. The memory of the Silence Glaive's handle slamming into wasn't far behind.

The 8 year old child beside her looked up, clearly waiting for a response. Why didn't Hotaru hate her?

"I'm sorry I tried to hurt you Hotaru"

The words felt awkward in Ami's mouth. That didn't cover nearly half of it.

They walked together in silence. Hotaru seemed oddly comfortable in her element, but Ami was quickly spiraling downward between guilt and shame.

"I'm glad you still like me. I'm not sure anyone else does."

Hotaru spoke before Ami could manufacture an excuse to leave.

"Did something happen today Hotaru-chan?"

The little girl nodded.

"We were learning about Hiroshima and Nagasaki in history class. I just felt so sad. For everyone All those people that died, and the people who dropped the bomb…and then all the people who made the bomb. It's so horrible that happened because no one could stop fighting…I couldn't stop crying. Then I got angry. I think I scared everyone. I'm too different."

And all of a sudden, Ami was looking down at a little girl who was feeling lonely because she was different. This was a familiar path. Ami didn't like where it was heading.

"You are different. That's the wonderful thing about you."

She found that she cared deeply about Hotaru. They connected on some level, and she'd be damned to see Hotaru go down the same road she did. Ami forced herself to open up for Hotaru's sake.

"You know, I was about your age when I realized that I was different. No one else saw the world like I did."

"What do you mean?"

"I was getting more and more frustrated at school. I couldn't understand why the lessons were taking so long. Everything was so obvious. One day, I was so mad, I called everyone stupid. Even the teacher. That was my first and only detention. Mother had to come pick me up from the principal's office. I was crying when she came to get me. I couldn't understand why I was so angry, but mother figured it out."

Hotaru looked at her questioningly, waiting for her to continue.

"Mother... She pointed at my hand and asked me what I saw. I told her I saw a hand. She smiled and said that because she was a doctor, she saw more than that. She saw the bones that gave me structure, the muscles that made me strong, the blood that kept me warm all wrapped up in skin that kept me together."

Ami was able to smile at a memory of her mother for the first time since her death. That was also the memory of when she first decided she wanted to be a doctor. The world seemed so interesting through her mother's eyes. Layers, upon layers, but all the same underneath...but that wasn't the end of the story.

"Mother pointed at the crossing guard next. She said that he saw my hands, he would might think of making sure that we hold hands when we cross the road. The salon lady over there might think that you'd look nice with a sparkling blue nail polish. Your Papa might think of how you used your hands to make that painting last week...so on and so forth. The point was that everyone had a different perspective of the world, so...being different doesn't mean that much in a world where everybody is different in their own way. I should respect those differences just as I should celebrate my own. What do you think Hotaru-chan?"

Hotaru nodded sagely, considering the story.

"That sounds almost lonely. I think that you see things very differently too Ami-san. Is it hard for you?"

Ami winced internally. Ouch. Right in the self-pity. Perceptive little Firefly. Suddenly, Ami wasn't sure if Hotaru was seeking comfort or offering it.

"Sometimes, but it doesn't matter. At the end of the day, I can only be me."

"That's good because I like you Ami-san. We can be lonely together."

Hotaru beamed up at her now. Ami grinned back. Hotaru had an infectious smile, kind of like Usagi. Ami knew that she had made a new friend just now.

"Thank you Hotaru-chan. I like you too. It's important to be yourself. That's worth any hardship I think."

"I get it! That's what Haruka-papa says too. Will you walk me home? Papa is away at a conference this week so I'm staying with Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama. I bet they'd be happy to see you."

Happy to see her? That remained to be seen, but she couldn't say no to Hotaru. Lucky she had nothing better to do but mope around Tokyo anyways. More importantly, it seemed to make Hotaru happy.

She offered her hand to Hotaru. Hotaru took it without hesitation and held it all the way home.

* * *

"Hotaru-chan!"

The door of the shockingly large house swung open as Ami and Hotaru approached.

Hotaru ran forward. Haruka swept her up in a big dramatic hug.

"She seems quite taken with you."

Michiru appeared in the doorway like an inevitability. A new diamond ring sparkled on her finger.

"Good to see you again Ami-san. How have you been?"

"Here and there I suppose. Oh! Congratulations on your engagement by the way. I heard the good news from Rei. I wish you all the best."

"Thank you Ami-san. It's been a long time coming I think. Speaking of, Setsuna said she was looking for you. She should be home for dinner. Would you care to stay and wait for her?"

"Oh, No, Thank you. I wouldn't want to intrude"

"Actually, what Setsuna said was to set an extra place for dinner tonight for her and Hotaru's guest. I assume you are who she meant. Kind of annoying when she does that ne?"

Checkmate. The entire family was impossible to say no to apparently. Ami's stomach surprisingly rumbled at the thought of food. Kuso, she forgot to eat lunch again today didn't she? Ami nodded in acceptance.

"Arigatou. I would like that"

Michiru smiled.

"Good. Now I don't have to tell Setsuna how I let you get away and the big pot of tofu won't go to waste. Yudofu, Kyoto style in fact. A bit late in the season, but still nice on a such a gray day. You should be framiliar ne?"

Surprised by a sudden sense of nostalgia, Ami smiled softly and exaggerated her childhood accent for the moment.

"I grew up there Michiru-han"

Michiru tilted her head elegantly

"I thought so, though you've never mentioned it. You don't talk about yourself much."

What was there to say? Beyond nostalgia for the food, Kyoto was just memories of her parents fighting, and social isolation. Her traditional Japanese classmates did not appreciate the hafu that beat them clean on every exam. Every perfect score poisoned the well further. Ami could cut off one hand and still be able to count on her fingers the number of times she willingly discussed her childhood. Hotaru was the exception to the rule.

Ami's voice shifted again to what Michiru internally referred to as her "chess voice". It was calm and cool and gave the impression that she'd already analyzed every possible direction the conversation could take.

'Is there something specific you wished to know?"

Michiru backed off from the challenge. Now was not the time for this. She stepped back from the doorway as an unspoken apology.

"Right now, only if you'll come inside before it rains."

Ami nodded politely and entered the house. Michiru closed the door behind them, granting privacy from the outside world. There was Senshi business to discuss.

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Continuity note #2: Story canon diverges near the end of Sailor Moon S aka the season with the Messiah of Silence. The events of SuperS mostly did not occur for the purposes of this story. Also, no Galaxia._

* * *

 _Flavour notes: I've read that in the Japanese anime, Ami speaks with a very slight Kansai accent (specifically a Kyoto accent). Her Japanese voice actor Aya Hisakawa is from the Kansai region, and often uses a bit of her native accent in her work. My headcanon interprets that Ami grew up in Kyoto and then moved to Tokyo after her parents divorce._

 _Ami also refers to herself as a 'hafu' which is a Japanese term for someone who is biracial (specifically half Japanese/half other). There is nothing in the anime or manga that supports or disproves this, so why the heck not. Ami needs even more stuff to brood about.  
_

 _Side note: The story behind Haruka and Michiru's engagement can be found in my other story: "Haruka and Michiru: One Night in Hong Kong". It is a good background read for the next chapter, but completely optional. Everything will be summarized and recapped neatly (I hope) as it becomes necessary to this story._

 _PM and Reviews always appreciated. Thank you for reading. Onto Chapter 4!_


	4. Family Business

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Act 1 - First Steps

 _Chapter 4: Family Business - wherein Senshi and family business are intertwined._

* * *

"So, Ami-san, do we have any new information on the recent Dark Kingdom attack?"

Ami looked up, startled by the sudden change in topic. If she hadn't already been obsessing over this for the past two weeks, she would have needed some time to prepare a response. However, she _had_ been obsessing. The answer was right on the tip of her tongue.

"Nothing new or concrete. I have been trying to track my mother's last days to see where she might have intersected with Queen Metaria and thus, the Dark Kingdom. So far no luck. After 6 years, it is a very cold trail to follow. I wish I'd paid more attention when I had a chance"

"You should be more kind to yourself. You were dealing with a lot back then"

"I do remember she had a business trip right before...things. It was to London. I am working on tracking down who she was meeting there. That's all I have so far."

"London...I wonder if this is related then. Haruka and I destroyed a youma about a month ago in Hong Kong. It was impersonating an English businessman"

"What? Why didn't I know about this?"

"You were still in the hospital. Usagi didn't want you to worry about it until we knew more."

Ami considered things. Of course, that makes sense. No one knew if she was actually still connected to the Dark Kingdom or not.

"I understand. I wouldn't have told me either...although can I get the details now please? It might help"

"Of course. That's why I brought it up. The Aqua Mirror caught a glimpse dark energy in Hong Kong. Haruka and I went to investigate. The source was an Englishman named Aristotle Wyman. He was aggressively buying shares in a promising new nanotech research startup."

"Kami-sama. I hate nanotechnology, but that's not particularly suspicious? Sounds like business as usual"

"Well, the strange thing was that the previous owner of the company had shown no indication of wanting to sell the controlling shares at all. Just one day, he suddenly did. Turns out the Englishman had a youma at his disposal with mind control powers. We destroyed it, it was a weak thing, but in the confusion, the businessman himself got away."

"A youma? That's unexpected. Though does seem to confirm that the Dark Kingdom is still active. I wonder how far this goes."

"Indeed. We suspected there was more than just what we saw with you. Not to trivialize what you've been through of course."

"No offense taken. Frankly, I am glad to be having this discussion. Everyone else has been walking around on eggshells with this and it's driving me crazy. I feel like we've put out a fire, but not found the cause."

"They mean well... Don't mistake their kindness for indolence the way I once did. They will be ready when the time comes."

"I know, I suppose I'm just anxious to defeat the enemy. I am certain there's something out there that has yet to reveal itself."

"Of course. You are a Senshi. I'd expect no less from you"

Cheerful whistling broke the tension in the room. Haruka had wandered back into the foyer from settling Hotaru in and checking on dinner.

* * *

"Miiiiichiruuuu! Dinner's pretty much ready."

That sing-song announcement came with a quick peck on the cheek. Haruka blew into the room like a breath of fresh air.

"Ami-chan! Looking good. That jacket suits you well."

Ami blushed, self consciously tugging at the sleeves to make sure her all her scars were covered. Michiru laughed out loud. Partially to diffuse the tension and partially because it was about time for some payback on Haruka.

"You incorrigible flirt. Though I must say Ami-chan, if it weren't for this one here, I'd be quite taken myself."

Ami blushed even harder. Haruka's "old clothes" did fit her surprisingly well. Suspiciously well even.

"Have I thanked you for taking care of me yet Haruka-san? And you, Michiru-san. I mean, not just the clothes, but everything."

"You are very welcome. That's what friends are for. In fact, I should be thanking you. Hotaru tells me you two had a little chat on the way home today?"

"Oh yes, Hotaru's class was having a discussion on the atomic bomb today. She got quite upset. "

Haruka's face fell. Michiru looked concerned.

"Yes, that makes sense. No one ever considers how the bomb must feel."

Michiru nodded in agreement

"How is she now?"

"She said that she's feeling better now. Ami-chan here told her that it's ok to be different, and to be proud of it, more or less."

"Thank you Ami. I'm glad you were able to have that conversation with her."

"You're welcome I suppose? She reminds me a bit of myself at her age. You might want to watch out for that"

"Oh?"

Haruka's raised eyebrow was the only expression on her otherwise neutral face.

"I was different as a child. Too smart for my own good. That was when I started to close myself off. I'd hate to see Hotaru go through the same thing. She's seen too much too soon to easily connect with her peers."

"I understand. That's why we surround her with as much love as we can. Michiru and I, Setsuna, her Papa, Usagi, Mamoru and all the senshi. My dream is to give her a proper upbringing. She deserves as much happiness as we can give to her. …but she is not an ordinary girl. She's extraordinary. I think that she could have something even better than a normal life then. One where being Sailor Saturn is just one aspect of her, and not just the end of the line. "

"That's a wonderful dream Haruka-san. She's a great kid from what I've seen so far. A credit to you all."

"Thank you Ami. Professor Tomoe as well. He knows something of Sailor Saturn, even if he doesn't know the details. He trusts us implicitly regarding his precious daughter. She spends weekends and holidays here with us generally. That can't be easy for him."

"It is a good thing for her to be surrounded by so much family. Loneliness is a hard thing to bear."

"Hotaru's got a wonderful group of people in her life that all love her, and she loves them all right back. In the end, I think that's her saving grace. You know you are a part of that right Ami-chan?"

Ami looked somewhat skeptical

"I don't know. I left when she was so young, and when I came back, I brought a world of violence with me. She has no reason to consider me family. I don't think I deserve that"

"You are a Senshi. That's enough for her I think. Plus we've told her stories. You're in them. Don't forget, it was you that saved her that night under Mugen"

Ami flinched, remembering the pain of Viluy's Mosaic Buster.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up. The nano-bots… I heard you were out of commission for a while afterwards."

"Only because I was concerned about after effects. Makoto helped me figure it out"

Setsuna came home at that point. Further conversation was delayed in favour of a hot dinner, and, to the happy surprise of Hotaru and Haruka, the sweet sticky nama-yatsuhashi that came with her for dessert.

* * *

Setsuna waved affectionately at the sound of the happy sticky-dessert muffled conversation going on in the other room.

"There. That ought to keep those three happily occupied for a while"

Ami sat opposite her across the large oak desk in Setsuna's office.

"Nama-yatsuhashi... I haven't had that since I was a child. You and Michiru both seem to have had Kyoto in your thoughts today?"

"Correct Ami-san. Well reasoned. I had some business there. As you might have already figured, it concerns you."

Setsuna pulled a stack of paperwork out of her briefcase. Ami recognized her own birth certificate among them. Mizuno Ami. Daughter of Mizuno Saeko and John Anderson. Between the killer, the victim and...well, she didn't even have words to describe her father anymore ."Family" was the last thing she wanted to think about.

It was irrational, but Ami didn't want to taint the loving family environment in this house with her dark thoughts. She looked away from the offending document quickly.

If Setsuna noticed Ami's introspection, she did not acknowledge it, preferring to give Ami her privacy. She carried on with necessary business instead.

"I'll need you to sign all these afterwards, but long story short. "Amy Anderson" is now legally "Mizuno Ami" again. You are now free to pursue your medical career in your own name if you so desire. If you have any loose ends in Berlin, bank accounts, leases and the like, you may wish to attend to those as soon as possible. I assume you are planning to stay in Japan yes?"

Ami nodded. For better or worse, she was here now.

Setsuna continued to rifle through the stack of documents.

"In tracking down the necessary paperwork, I was also able to obtain this"

Setsuna pulled out a sealed manila envelope.

"I apologize for not preparing you properly. I was not expecting to find this being held in trust for you."

Ami's eyes widened. Her mother's handwriting graced the front of the envelope.

" _The Last Will and Testament of Mizuno Saeko"_

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Story notes: *koff* yup, yet another cross reference, although technically it is the same cross reference as the one form the previous chapter and for my keen eyed, long memoried readers, the introduction (Goodbye Aristotle Wyman, we hardly knew ye). The story of what Haruka and Michiru did in Hong Kong can be found in my profile._

 _Flavour notes: Nama-yatsuhashi is a sweet sticky triangular dessert dumpling very similar to/is mochi. Kyoto happens to be famous for the stuff. For context, I intended for Setsuna to show up with a box of desserts that reminded Ami of where she grew up. If she was from Boston, I would have said "whoopie pies" or if she was from Hong Kong, I might have used "Egg Waffles" etc etc (I can't think of more examples anyways). It doesn't come up too often in this story, but personally, I LOVE food. I try to bring it into the story whenever it is appropriate. Y'know, for flavour (har har - punny)_

* * *

 _Thank you to my Japanese Culture Consultant Hoshirabu (and Hoshirabu's friend Keiko) for their help with the yatsuhashi. Anyone interested in Haruka/Michiru stories should go right now and check out Hoshirabu's "HaruMichi One Shots" - M! rated fun, fluff and comedy flavoured with a bit of angst. Happy trails!_

 _PM and Review always appreciated. Thank you for reading! Onto Chapter 5_


	5. Grave Bearings

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Act 1 - First Steps

 _Chapter 5: Grave Bearing -_ _wherein Ami goes missing, but she finds her way_ _._

* * *

Rei was concerned when Ami didn't return home by dinnertime. It was raining, Rei figured she probably just got caught without an umbrella somewhere. She was an adult, and not a prisoner. She had the freedom to be out and about on her business.

Concern turned into worry after the shrine's night chores were completed. Hours had passed without a phone call or an explanation from Ami. Rei wasn't really sure if this was out of character for her anymore but the fact that she was even ignoring her communicator was a bad sign. Did Ami take off again? No, unlikely. Her Mercury Computer was still in her room. Ami would sooner part with her left hand, than leave that computer behind.

By 2 am, Rei pulled Makoto and Usagi into joining her on a search party. Apparently Ami had left Setsuna's office hours ago with a sealed copy of her mother's will. Ami said she was heading back to the temple, but that clearly didn't happen. Ami was in trouble then. They had to find her. She was their friend and their responsibility - Ami shouldn't be left alone right now. Officer Aino had no reports of any disturbances matching Ami's description or m/o. Considering recent history. No news was good news.

Dawn found the inner senshi reunited at the cemetery. They gathered in front of the simple grave marked "Mizuno Saeko". They found their missing friend sitting on the ground, her back leaning against her mother's headstone. Her ice cold hands and bloody knuckles stood as testament to how long she'd been here, and how she was feeling inside.

Ami didn't say a word. She simply didn't resist the hug Usagi offered her. They stayed together until the sun came up.

* * *

Calm on the outside, and a tsunami within. That was so Ami it that it hurt.

Makoto felt stupid for not checking the cemetery first. That should have been the first place she thought of. This is exactly what she'd done herself after her parents died. They'd checked the hospital, the park, the library, and even the sports centre pool before she'd realized that subconsciously, they were looking for the old Ami. That was when it clicked for Makoto. Cemetery.

She wasn't sure if Ami even knew where her mother's gravestone was. Makoto had been the one to make the funeral arrangements. By the time the police released Dr Mizuno's body for cremation, Ami had already pulled her disappearing act. With no known next of kin other than the now-missing Ami, Makoto claimed the body as a family friend. She had experience in the logistics of death and it seemed wrong to leave her unclaimed anyhow. Dr. Mizuno's colleagues at the hospital were of like mind and had pooled together to pay for the funeral. In the end it was a rather nice ceremony, considering the circumstances. Whatever was missing in family, was made up for in the presences of lives impacted and lives saved. Colleagues, students and former patients all came to pay their last respects to the good doctor.

Dr. Mizuno was well missed. Over the past 6 years, Makoto visited the grave occasionally. She swept the grave at Obon time alongside that of her own parents and visited on anniversaries of Dr Mizuno's death. It seemed appropriate. Saeko Mizuno had started to feel like family to her somehow. It might also have been a futile kindness, but Makoto thought it would be devastating if Ami to ever came back to an overgrown and dirty gravestone.

As soon as Makoto realized Ami was probably at the cemetery, she, Rei and Usagi had raced over there to check. Minako beat them there, having gone to the cemetery directly after her shift ended.

It was first light when they found their friend. They waited in silence together until the sun was fully risen.

* * *

The sounds of the city began to filter into the still of the cemetery. The city was waking up to begin a new day.

"Thank you"

Ami's voice was quiet and hoarse with emotion. She gave Usagi's a last squeeze as she stood up.

"I'm sorry everyone, I'll be leaving town for a while."

Her voice hardened. All business again.

"What?"

"London. I have a new lead. My mother left a letter in her will. I just received it. She was worried about a meeting with a Dr Edward Smith with the Blackstone Capital Investments Group. That's likely the last thing she did before she was taken by Queen Metaria. I need to know what happened."

Blackstone...the name rang a bell. Minako gasped.

"The Blackstone Group... I remember them. They were the investment group that funded the Dark Agency way back in the day. They were the money men. I'm coming too."

Ami turned to Minako.

"No. I'm doing this alone. This is my fault. If I hadn't been such a coward after my mother's death. We would have had this information 6 years ago. I will take care of this."

Minako didn't like the look in Ami's eyes. She was repressing something... too cold, too calculating. A killer's eyes. Shit...she didn't like where this was heading. Damn Ami and her obsessive focus. Someone needed to go with her.

"No you won't. Not alone. This is my territory. I know London. I know Blackstone. I can get you information, contacts. You're not doing this without me."

She positioned herself not as a friend, but as an asset. At the moment, it was the fastest way to get through to Ami. Relentless logic can go both ways.

Minako heard Rei and Makoto start to protest in the background, heard and dismissed. Rei was going to be so pissed about this later.

Ami looked at her suspiciously, then nodded once. She reached into her jacket and handed Minako a water stained envelope.

"Read this. I don't want to explain things twice. I'll go make the arrangements now. Minako, is 5 days enough notice for you to give to work? You have no obligation to come with me either way. I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"Just try and stop me."

The look on Ami's face answered for her. _Don't tempt me._

"Ami-chan...you're leaving again? Let me come too."

Usagi expressed her love in the simplest terms. She was pained by the idea that her friend was leaving again. She was worried that her friends were leaving on a mission without her. She was sad that her friend was suffering so much and trying to bear it alone. At least Minako got through to her.

"No Usagi-chan. Only Minako, for the reasons she stated. Don't worry. I'll come back."

"That's a promise?"

Ami smiled reassuringly as she had once before in a frozen wasteland.

Only this time, no one could tell if she was lying or not, perhaps not even Ami herself.

* * *

 _-End of Act 1: First Steps-_

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Our story is now established, we are preparing to move into Act 2: A Journey of 6000 Miles.  
Thank you for reading! PM and Reviews always appreciated._

 _Up next: interlude chapter "Dr Mizuno", wherein we read what was in that envelope._

* * *

 _Flavour notes: Obon, or simply "Bon" festival is a Japanese Buddhist summer festival where it is traditional to gather one's family together and go visit the graves of your ancestors. The idea is that the souls of the departed visit the living again around this time of year, so it's good to go to the cemetery to honor them. Cleaning the grave is also a part of Japanese custom regarding the dead. There is also dancing and lanterns and food, so good times.  
Also, I've been told that that culturally, leaning against a gravestone is a very very very weird thing to do in Japan. My intention with that action was to demonstrate that Ami was pretty much exhausted from being up and emotional all night. Also, she is in a way, too familiar with the grave, to the point where she is irreverent enough to lean on it. I suppose that stems from a sense of ownership over the grave because she was the one that killed her mother in the first place._

* * *

 _Continuity Notes: The "Dark Agency" was the enemy that Sailor V faced in Codename: Sailor V. Blackstone Group is something I made up._

 _*spoilers begin* Long story short, they were an entertainment talent agency that turned out to be a Dark Kingdom plot. *end spoilers*_


	6. Dr Mizuno

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Interlude

 _Chapter 6: Dr Mizuno -_ _wherein we get a flashback scene, and read what's inside that envelope_

* * *

 _ **Flashback: 8 years ago. The day Mugen Academy exploded and Pharaoh 90 almost destroyed the world.**_

Saeko Mizuno stood alone in the empty apartment. Where was Ami?

Her daughter she was supposed to be here. Uncharacteristically, she had stormed off to her room, and slammed the door 10 minutes ago. Saeko knew she didn't walk out the front door. Saeko was right outside that door herself for the past 10 minutes. She was wavering between getting to work ASAP and going back into the condo to comfort her daughter. In the end, her motherly duty won out over her professional. She went back in to an empty apartment.

They had a rare mother-daughter fight not 10 minutes ago, and now Ami was missing.

The city was a disaster zone right now. Something bad was happening at the Mugen Academy building downtown. As such, Dr Mizuno Saeko was needed in the hospital. She'd received the emergency summons just as Ami came home from god-knows-where. Her normally reasonable daughter had all but ordered her to evacuate the city instead. Saeko refused, and Ami did not take it well. Tempers flared on both sides, and they did so with a shocking intensity. The fight itself was completely illogical, but Saeko was more concerned about something that lurked in the background of Ami's outburst.

Sakeo couldn't figure it out and Ami didn't say anything that led anywhere. The only thing she was certain of that she felt guilty about not knowing more about her genius of a daughter. If she were a better mother, she'd be able to figure out what was wrong.

Her daughter...where was she now?

Saeko was suddenly afraid to look out the open window.

No, her daughter wasn't like that...not anymore...not since she'd made some real connections outside the family...

Still with Ami, Saeko knew she could never rule the possibility out entirely. Her heart hammered with dread as she looked out the window.

She looked down. Nothing there.

Thank the gods.

Sakeo let out quick laugh of relief as she looked around. The window was still the only logical explanation of where Ami had gone. Climbing down was impossible, and certainly not in 10 minutes. They were 11 stories up. An athletic young girl might theoretically be able to climb to the roof, but that was incredibly dangerous and there was no reason for it. Ami wasn't the sort to put herself in such danger...was she?

What was that last thing Ami had said to her?

 _"Mother, you don't even know who I am. I'm not a little girl anymore. I just need you to trust me."_

How had she replied? She shot back that she wouldn't ever be able to know Ami if she kept closing herself off like this.

Saeko sighed. She was an adult, she should have handled things better. Sometimes, it was easy to forget just how young Ami really was.

A collection of Sailor Senshi stuffed dolls on Ami's shelf seemed to underscore that thought.

Wait...that was strange. Ami never liked dolls, not even as a child. She'd declared such things too frivolous at the tender age of 7. Right around the time of the divorce.

The way they were placed, it would have been the first thing Ami saw every morning when she woke up. These dolls were important to her.

For some reason, one doll stood out to her. The blue one. They called her Sailor Mercury in the news. Blue was Ami's favourite colour. She wondered if Sailor Mercury was likewise her favourite.

Everyone could feel that there was a malevolent force at work today. The city was in clearly in danger. There was no other explanation for the dark purple dome that now covered an entire city block. Saeko could see it from the condo. This was just like it was a year ago when those black crystals suddenly grew out of nowhere and the UFO appeared in the sky.

Saeko knew she should be terrified right now, but she picked up the blue doll and smiled instead. It was oddly comforting.

Whoever these mysterious Sailor Senshi were, they were likely out there in the thick of things right now. It was unsettling to know that there were people with super powers out there, but right now, with the city in danger, it was comforting. Someone was watching over the city, protecting the people.

She wondered who they were. They appeared to be 5 girls,so very much like her daughter and her group of friends.

Saeko smiled as she thought of her daughter's new friends. They were such a diverse group. How on earth did they all meet? They went to different schools, had different backgrounds, hobbies, interests.

Dread beat into her heart again. The doll in her hand felt heavier. Saeko had been so thankful to these girls for bringing light into her Ami's life, that she never once considered who they were.

Tsukino-san made sense. They went to the same school and the girl had the most brilliant smile anyone could imagine. She came first and it was easy to see how she could have made friends with anyone. Tsukino-san had such a warm feeling about her.

Then came the priestess Hino Rei. Where could their paths have intersected? As far as she knew, Ami wasn't the religious sort. Saeko remembered being surprised when she mentioned having a friend who was adept in mystical fire readings.

And then there was Kino-san At first she had been worried about the big tough looking girl that her daughter had befriended. However, first impressions were wrong, as they often were. When she saw the way she hovered so protectively over Ami, she was charmed. Over the past year, she had come to know more about Kino-san. Her sweetness, her honesty, her independence...Ami talked about her often. Seeing her from Ami's perspective, Saeko had come to like her very much as well.

There was one more, a bubbly blonde girl she had never been properly introduced to. Even from afar, Saeko could see that she was a vivacious girl that seemed larger than life. Like an idol. The exact opposite of her shy reserved Ami. She also remembered that the girl also wore a school uniform from a neighbouring district. Where could Ami have met her, much less becomes such good friends? In her experience, "opposites attract" was true only to a certain extent.

These girls came from all different walks of life. That they had met at all was a miracle. Ami was generally so much happier nowadays that Sakeo never thought to question the miracle.

5 girls. 5 best friends. 5 dolls on the shelf.

The pieces fell into place.

Tsukino-san. The girl with the odango hair. Sailor Moon.

Kino-san. The tall powerful brunette. Sailor Jupiter.

Hino Rei. the raven haired beauty with an affinity for fire readings. Sailor Mars

The mysterious bubbly blonde...the mysterious superhero codenamed Sailor Venus.

That left...Ami. The Sailor Mercury doll in her hand. Saeko stared at it with disbelief.

A loud explosion sounded outside. The sound through the open window sent Saeko ducking for cover. The doll fell from her hands and landed face up. Its blue eyes looked up, its truth staring her in the face. It was the only possible explanation for where Ami was now. However unlikely, it had to be the truth. Sailor Mercury.

Saeko looked out the window, desperate to avert her eyes from the unblinking doll.

The skyscraper at the heart of the mysterious storm was completely gone. It was now a crater. It looked like a war zone out there. Her Ami couldn't be out in that. Her Ami was somewhere safe. There was a reasonable explanation for where she was right now. She couldn't be risking her life to fight evil. Not her only daughter.

The denial sounded false even as she thought it. Given the power, Ami would absolutely be out there. Ami grew up surrounded by duty. It was the lesson she learned every night she spent alone when her mother didn't come home from work. Every day when her mother was too tried to spend time with her. Every goddamn time her mother put her patients ahead of her own daughter.

Ami grew up in a world where doing the right thing was more important than any one individual. Her feelings were always quietly sacrificed in the name of helping others.

Of course she would be out there selflessly trying to save the world. Danger be damned.

Danger...the explosion. People had to be injured. Saeko knew she had a duty. If Ami was out there, then she would understand and forgive her for not waiting at home.

Saeko wanted nothing more than to run out to the epicentre of the explosion and look for Ami. She knew in her heart of hearts that her daughter was there fighting to save the world. Someone had to make the world a place worth saving. Ami would never forgive her mother, or herself for that matter, if innocent people died for want of a doctor.

As a mother, Saeko could do nothing more than hope for her daughter to come home safe. As a doctor, she had an obligation to fulfill. Dr Mizuno set off to the hospital. Lives were at stake.

Wherever Ami was, Saeko prayed for her to be safe. She just had to come home.

There would be too much left unsaid otherwise.

* * *

It was a city wide disaster. There were injuries coming in from all areas. Dr Mizuno wasn't able to leave until she had pulled at least a double shift. She'd lost track of time somewhere in the midst of all the patients that needed emergency treatment.

Saeko rushed home as soon as she could. She needed to know if the gods were kind.

They were. Her prayers were answered.

Ami was sitting at the kitchen table, safe, alive and fidgeting with the Sailor Mercury doll.

"Ami! Thank the gods. Where have you been?"

Ami smiled back, her usual picture of normalcy.

"I've been here mother. Studying in my room. How are you? The explosion downtown... how bad was it?"

The smile was false. Ami was lying to her. They both knew it. Saeko wondered when her daughter had gotten so adept at lying.

She looked into her daughter's eyes, ready to confront her with the truth.

For the first time, was someone alien looking back at her. Someone too old, too wise. Someone who had seen too much. Suddenly, the facade collapsed and she was just her little girl again, scared and crying.

"Please mother. Please just trust me. Please don't ask."

Ami needed her illusions after all. She must have her reasons.

For Ami's sake, She pretended not to notice how stiffly her daughter moved she she stood up, or how she winced when they hugged a bit too tightly.

For Ami's sake, she pretended not to be terrified of what the future held and hid just how proud she was of her daughter for being so brave.

For Ami's sake, she whispered soothing words. Don't apologize. Never apologize. I trust you. You can talk whenever you are ready. I'll understand. I'll be there to listen. I love you.

There would always be time for the truth later.

* * *

 _ **Present day: A letter inside a water stained envelope.**_

"My Darling Ami,

If you are reading this, it means that I am dead. I am so sorry to leave you and please know that I love you more than anything in the world.

I am also sorry for leaving this to you, but there is no one else that I can trust with this information. I know that there is something special about you and your friends.

I remember the day that that high school exploded; the fight we had about not evacuating the city. You ran away that day. I knew because I went back into the apartment after you left that day. I knew then that you had a life that I knew nothing about.

I was so thankful when I came home and you were there waiting for me. My prayers were answered. You were safe. That was enough for me.

At first, I had wanted to confront you with your secret, but overtime, I realized it wasn't my place. You were always a smart girl, and wise beyond your years. If you were keeping a secret, you must have had a reason. I understood and accepted your decision easily. You are my darling daughter. I trust you more than anything in the world.

As a mother, it has been my privilege to see you grow into the hero that you are. I was prepared to wait as long as it was necessary for the chance to tell you that. I hoped the day would come that you were ready to introduce yourself to me again.

If you are reading this letter then, that hope has failed. Just know that my only regret is that we didn't have more time. I don't blame you for anything, and you mustn't blame yourself now. Dear Ami, I was always so proud of you, if I never got a chance to tell you this in life, I am so so sorry.

It has been two years since that day. Please forgive me for my inaction since. Perhaps all of the rationalization above was just to cover my own selfish fears. I am afraid that there may be a day when you didn't come home. To hear you confirm that would also simultaneously confirm the possibility of my worst nightmares. Forgive me for placing that burden on you never having had the courage to support you in life.

I must ask your forgiveness again. I am about to add to your burdens.

I have also written this letter for fear that my death was not a natural one. That the following information could be of vital importance.

As you know, over the past year, I have been researching nanomachines regarding their use in medicine. Recently, I have begun to uncover evidence that my funding partner, Blackstone Capital Investments have designs for my nanomachines that go beyond medicine. I fear that the research I have done will be used for great harm. There are have been some disturbing rumours regarding the biomechanical protoypes that my research is contributing to. I do not have more details at this moment, but I have a general sense of unease that causes me to leave you this letter just in case.

I have been called to present my work personally to Dr. Edward Smith, the chairman of the board. I will be able to investigate further at the head office. Hopefully, all this paranoia just the imagination of a tired old woman, and I will see you at breakfast next week. I hope we will have the chance to bake another batch of cookies together someday soon. I know you are long past the point where such a simple thing could cheer you up, but humor your mother in her whimsy. You will always be my little girl. I just hope then I will be brave enough to be the mother to you that I always should have been. Perhaps that will be the day we say all the things we have left unsaid.

In case I do not return, I want you to know that I am so very very proud of you. You have grown into an incredible young woman who makes the world a better place. You are my hero. Love and cherish the good people in your life. Be loved and cherished by them in turn and above all, be happy.

With all my love,

\- Saeko Mizuno."

* * *

 _A.N_

 _Oops. This was an accidental chapter. The original concept was to just have the contents of the letter posted as an interlude, but then I started writing the flashback as I was editing the letter for publish. So...bonus chapter! For all the times she's been mentioned in this fanfic, it's nice to finally meet Dr Saeko Mizuno. You know, for the sake of tragedy._

 _The action/adventure portion of our program will begin shortly. Please be aware that things will be getting more violent physically and emotionally in this fic. It is rated M for a reason. Hell, Minako's swearing alone would probably run us into M territory for excessive use of coarse language :P._

 _Up next: Ami and Minako in London._

* * *

 _Sidenote: Saeko's scene cross references with Ami's scene in my other story "The Long Road to Mugen" and the senshi plushies make an appearance in "Venus Minako's Nurse Mayhem: Ami's Place"...because Drifter-chan actually once wrote something that isn't horrifically depressing in nature. Hooray!_


	7. Surprise Attack

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Surprise Interlude

 _Chapter 7: Surprise Attack - wherein Rei is surprised when Ami's anger gets the best of her_

* * *

A strong wind blew through the halls of the Hikawa Shrine. A blue haired woman lay awake on a futon covered by a thin blanket.

Ami had always been a light sleeper. She was always restless and it never took much to wake her. Even on a normal night, Ami didn't need much sleep.

The night before she and Minako flew to London to hunt down the man that got her mother killed... Ami wasn't sleeping at all.

She stayed in bed feigning sleep however. There was someone else here.

A silhouette crept into the room. Moonlight glinted off the tip of his short knife. Ami tensed, twisting the blanket in her hands as she waited for the intruder to come into range. He had to be Dark Kingdom. Who else attack her now? Adrenaline pumped through her veins. She couldn't wait to get started.

There.

Ami's hands shot out and wrapped the blanket around the surprised intruder's throat. Her victim flailed in panic at the crushing force she was applying to his trachea. His knife flashed out. Once, twice, thrice. Feeble cuts getting weaker and weaker. Ami pulled harder. Only one assassin? Nobody treats her like a soft target.

Ami got out of bed, forcing the man to his knees.

"Ami!"

Ami looked up. Rei was at the door, looking horrified. Startled, Ami looked at the man choking to death in her hands.

 _Kuso_

She threw him away from her. He hit the wall and slid soundlessly to the floor.

"An intruder. There might be others. Quick, we should check on Grandpa"

Rei nodded in agreement. Grace under pressure - The safety of her family took priority.

The two women ran through the Shrine. Someone was standing outside Grandpa's bedroom. Rei took one look and threw herself at the intruder. They went flying through the shine's thin panel wall and into the courtyard outside. Ami followed through the hole. Good thing. There were 3 more attackers were waiting there.

4-on-2.

Ami laughed. This was good. She'd needed a good late night fight. Since reading her mother's will, she's had no peace. She'd been so restless she felt she was about to burst. Someone needed to get hurt tonight. This was perfect

Ami picked one intruder at random - A large brutish looking man. She ran at him, looking for an opening get slip inside his guard. He swung a heavy punch at her head. Got it. Ami's lips pulled back in a vicious smile as she ducked. Not surprisingly, he tumbled slightly off balance. Ami snapped a quick left hook at his liver, a harder right at his solar plexus and a third solid uppercut in his face when he doubled over in pain. He dropped like a pile of bricks didn't get up again.

If he wasn't down after the shot to the Vagus nerve, he was out by the time he got the broken nose. Ami laughed again. The joys of the central nervous system.

3-on-2.

Grandpa came running out in the commotion.

"Call the police!"

Rei screamed out the order as she smashed her opponent under his chin. His head bounced back onto the cobblestone floor. Grandpa hurried off to the phone.

2-on-2.

Oof. Ami had the breath knocked out of her. Suddenly, she was struggling with the weight of someone hanging off her neck.

Dammit. She got caught staring after Grandpa so long she'd missed the attacker approaching on her left. He jumped her from the side, catching her by the throat. He was strangling her. She was beginning to see stars and the already pounding pulse in her head grew louder until it became a constant buzz. Things were getting dark. She had to do something fast.

Ami pulled herself down and away, using the man's size and momentum against him. She was in control now. He made the mistake of leaving her arms free. Ami would make sure he paid dearly for that. She grabbed his thumb and twisted with one hand as she simultaneously slammed her other elbow under his chin. Before he could even process what had happened, she'd chopped the base of her hand into his throat and kicked him in the knee. Her left arm then swung up across his body and grabbed him behind his neck. Ami forced his head down as her knee came up. Once, twice, thrice. Groin, stomach, head. The skirmish was over in the blink of an eye. She dropped the man in disgust. He fell to the ground. A swift kick to the ribs ensured that he was going to stay there.

One more left. Ami and Rei advanced together on the last standing member of the gang. Suddenly, he looked confused.

"Where am I? How'd I get here?"

Just as suddenly, he dropped to the ground unconscious, like a puppet with his strings cut.

The battle was over, the Shrine was peaceful again.

* * *

Rei stood at the top of the steps waiting for the police to arrive.

"Ami, we need to talk."

Ami looked at her questioningly. She was still flush with excitement from the fight.

 _Slap_

"What the hell? I deserved that?"

"My family is being attacked, and my fellow senshi is laughing like a maniac. What the hell Ami?"

Ami's eyes darkened.

"What? It was a good fight. What are you so pissy about...wait...you're expecting the meek little bookworm aren't you? She would have been dead useful just now."

Rei was glaring fire at her now, but Ami was too angry to stop.

"You should be thanking me. I took out a pair of those guys for you. 3 if you count the one in my room"

"Oh shit. That guy..."

"Don't worry. He's probably alive. I saw him breathing."

"When? As you were strangling him?"

"He was going to kill me."

Ami shrugged matter-of-factly. Rei was furious. She bounded in on Ami to make sure she heard every word.

"Did you even _look_ at them?"

Rei gestured at the unconscious people all over the yard

"They are all human. They didn't even look like they were in control of their actions. Their eyes were all blank, and the last guy just dropped on his own. You missed that didn't you, because you were too worked up about having an excuse to hit people. If you had stopped and paid attention, you would have seen that these people were being controlled by a dark power. We are Senshi. We are responsible for these people."

Rei pointed at the bloody man lying at Ami's feet. Ami paused. They were just regular people. She hadn't noticed that.

"Instead, you go ahead and put 3 people in the hospital. We'll be lucky if there's no serious damage. I don't even know how we'll be able to explain this to the cops. The Ami I knew doesn't mess up like that. Since when did you get off on hurting people? What's going on?"

The Ami that she used to know was kind and controlled, even in a fight. She wasn't consumed with anger. She certainly wouldn't be _laughing_ as she smashed someone's face in.

Ami's retort was bitter and angry.

"This is who I am now. I'm a damned killer and I'm the last person in the world who should be responsible for Senshi duties. I'm not worth your time Rei. Back off."

"Liar. The Ami I know is more than that. Where the hell is this coming from? Dark Mercury?"

Rei didn't sense any particular influence of dark energy around Ami at the moment.

"Yes. No...sort of. You don't understand. I AM Dark Mercury. Everything that she is, everything that she did, everything she was capable of. That was me. We are the same person."

"And what, that means you get a license to hurt people? Ami, the only other time I saw you hurt someone unnecessarily, you literally had an incarnation of evil in your head. You're being too hard on yourself, and that's NOT HELPING right now."

"I was like that long before we ever encountered Metaria. You are all Senshi for a reason. You fight for something you believe in, Mako fights to protect people. Me? I don't do it because I'm kind. I do it because I'm _bored_. Face it Rei. That's is who I am."

"I already knew that. Yeah, you can be a sadistic prick sometimes, that's not news. Did you really think I'd consider you as a close friend and never be able to see through your perfect Ami mask? You give me no credit. You're more than that. DEAL WITH IT."

Ami was glaring daggers at her now, but Rei had to get her point across somehow.

"I've known you longer than anyone else, except Usagi. The day we met, you saved my ass through pure force of will. Could Dark Mercury have done that? I've seen you look death in the face without blinking to protect us. Don't think that you're the only one that knows how to play chess. Berthier set up a execution that day, not a challenge. You went along with that fucked up chess game knowing it was unwinnable. Did you do that because you were bored? I've seen you quietly hold yourself back over and over past the point of sanity because you didn't want to hurt someone. All that good is as much a part of you as this bullshit you are pulling now. Focus on that and deal with it. You're about to snap. We can help. Talk to us when you need to. You're not the only one who's killed you know."

"You mean Minako."

"Yes, and you know what? She deals with it. She doesn't try to lose herself and run away from it. She faces it head on every day. It bothers her still, but she doesn't give up. I'd say that I'm sorry for what you had to do, but really. I'm not. It's awful, it's fucked up, and I'm sorry your mother was involved, but you know what. I'm not sorry you did it. You made a hard decision and followed through. I respect the hell out of you for that. I think your mother would have understood as well. She's the woman who raised the kindest, most considerate person I know after all. Minako told me what was in that letter she gave you. Your mother knew you were Mercury and she was proud of you. Don't throw that away like it was nothing."

"My mother might have forgiven me, but she's not exactly around to do so. Am I just supposed to forgive myself then?"

"Yes. That would be a step in the right direction. This charge-in-first-without-looking Ami? Bullshit. You're just running away again. You go in like that with Minako in London...I swear, if anything happens to her, I will kill you myself and then hunt you down in hell just to kill you again."

The fire and fury dimmed as the two fighters came to an understanding. Honesty between friends had that effect. Ami had no idea what to say, but she had to say something.

"Sorry Rei. I get it. I'll try harder. I promise, Minako will be safe with me."

That was true enough. She had to keep control of herself.

"Hang in there. Anger has its uses, but not if it's all-consuming. Use it to make yourself better. Push yourself harder, but don't let it control you. I do care about you, baka. I'm keeping my eye on you. I promised you I would."

The promise from several weeks ago hung between them. The moment before they walked into into Metaria's trap. Ami had Rei promise her to kill her if it became necessary. Ami was relieved to know that Rei took the responsibility seriously and Rei was relieved to see that reaction.

Ami moved on to check on the civilians in the courtyard, the doctor in her coming back to the fore.

"Your guy is ok, just knocked out for now. This guy has a broken nose, and probably a concussion. Strange. They all seem to be in some kind of fugue state right now. You are right. This isn't natural."

Rei rolled her eyes at that. Of course she was right. They would have to investigate this tomorrow. Rei looked around to assess the damage. Ami's arm caught her attention.

"You ok? You're bleeding all over the place."

Ami looked at her arm. She had forgotten about the knife wounds from the first attacker. She knew she would feel it more once the adrenaline wore off.

"I'll be fine. They are fairly shallow cuts actually. I have a medkit in my room. I'll be all stitched up in time for the flight tomorrow."

Rei pulled her arm into better lighting without asking. Fresh bleeding cuts on top of healing wounds on top of old scars.

"Ami, you keep this up, and there won't be anything of you to stitch back together. Stay focused. Make it worthwhile. Do you understand?"

Ami was about to snap back a heated retort when she realized Rei wasn't treating her with pity. It was kindness. She had no words to respond, so she simply nodded in response.

"Good. Grab your stuff then get out of here quick. Go to Minako's, she'll be your alibi. I'll need to make something up for the police, it'd be easier if you weren't around. Good luck in London. Remember what I said ok?"

Ami stared dumbly after Rei as walked down the stairs to delay the responding officers.

Rei was right again, as usual. Ami gave her head quick shake before sneaking back to her room for her bag. She had a long journey ahead of her.

* * *

 _A.N._

 _An unexpected night attack? O.o The plot thickens!_

 _On to Act 2: A Journey of 6000 Miles  
_


	8. West End Girls

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Act 2: A Journey of 6000 Miles

 _Chapter 8: West End Girls - wherein Ami and Minako arrive in London and receive some help from an old friend._

* * *

Compared to the night before, the flight to London was completely uneventful.

Minako was apoplectic when she heard about the attack on the temple. She wanted to drop everything and run to Rei's side, but she couldn't. Ami was leaving to follow the Dark Kingdom lead in London, and Mainko couldn't let her go alone. Rei and the others would have to manage for themselves.

Somewhat reassuringly, Ami concluded that she was the only target of last night's attack. Hers somehow seemed to be only identity that was compromised by Queen Metaria's final plan. If everyone's identities were revealed, then logically Usagi would have been the first target. No one else was attacked, just Ami personally and Rei who was caught in the crossfire.

Ami scratched one concern off her long, long list of concerns. She had wondered how the Dark Kingdom was unable to determine all of their identities from her memories, and came to the entirely unsatisfying conclusion of "It Was Magic".

Magic. That still didn't make any sense to her and she had been Sailor Mercury for years. Ami gave up on thinking and settled in for the car ride instead. Minako's Interpol friend Agent Katrina something-or-other, picked them up from Heathrow airport when they arrived. Ami stared out the window quietly, trying her best not to interfere with Minako's bubbly reunion with her mentor. Apparently she kept a satellite office in London away from her head office in Manchester.

They were there now. The office was a rental suite a charming brick building in the West End near Oxford Circus station. Ami thought it looked 18th century-ish. Minako was very excited to learn that Jimi Hendrix used to live in this very neighbourhood (and less excited to learn about his next door neighbour minus 200 years George Handel). Either way, the area looked expensive. Katarina must be a highly regarded agent to command such a budget for just a personal satellite office.

The office itself was a hodgepodge of open case files and empty coffee cups. Mugshots and charts lined almost every available space on the walls. Ami was impressed by how she kept track of it all. Minako fit right in like this was her natural habitat.

Katarina's accented English lilted up from the old filing cabinet she had started rustling in the second she returned to her office.

"So...You are tracking the Blackstone Group right? They are the 'legitimate businessmen' cover for organized crime. I've been wanting to take them down for _years._ This is the file you were asking for."

Katarina pulled out a sheaf of papers and handed it to Minako. Minako flipped through the stack quickly, pulling out one profile before handing it off to Ami.

"I recognize this one. Aristotle Wyman. He's the one our associates encountered in Hong Kong. Had a youma at his disposal. Definitely Dark Kingdom. He's connected to organized crime syndicates here?"

"We're not sure. They've been squeaky clean since the old days. He's on my radar because we tracked all the investors in Ace Kaitou's production company. That money had to come from somewhere. Most of them seemed innocent or at least inconclusive, but Wyman and Blackstone Capital Investments stood out. Up until Ace Kaitou, they invested only in finance and technologies. A sudden large investment in what turns out to be a Dark Kingdom entertainment front seemed suspicious. I don't need to explain the implications"

Minako nodded darkly.

Ace Kaitou, her masked protector in London - the man she thought she loved once. Too bad he turned out to be Danbourite - the Dark Kingdom general that she Was forced to kill. He had been working to awaken Queen Metaria on Earth afterall. Minako didn't like to think about it. She focused on the task at hand instead.

"The money trail. That always leads somewhere interesting."

"So we seem to be dealing with a crooked finance corporation that's been active what...10, 11 years now?"

"Yes Minako. Since around the time you first came to London actually"

"Damn. That's a long time to be in play without slipping up"

"Don't be so sure on that. For a time, everything they did seemed above board. Legit. It wasn't until about 2 months ago that they have begun to look suspicious again. Blackstone money kept popping up in various enterprises. A drug trafficking, antiquities, human and now shady corporate deals. You name it, they've probably got their fingers in the pie. It's so frustrating that we haven't gathered enough evidence to open an official case yet. Their lawyers and accountants are on another level."

"Remind me to refer a lawyer to you sometime if you need. I guarantee you she's on another level on top of that...in the meantime. Wow! You've kept tabs on them this whole time?"

"Of course. The Dark Kingdom was a serious threat to public safety. We've tracked all their known associates since we were first made aware of them. The idea that that organized crime could draw on supernatural forces…that is an unpleasant thought"

Minako whistled. The idea was unsettling.

"Good thing we have Minako right?"

Minako's cheerful boast didn't entirely cover the fact that she hated to use her Senshi powers to deal with the human world. That crossed more boundaries than she was comfortable with.

"Yakuza involvement back home going to be an issue?"

Ami didn't look up from reading the files. It wasn't clear if she was actually asking, or just thinking out loud

"Nope. Someone scalped the Queen of Tokyo's underworld last Christmas. They've mostly just been infighting since. Consider them out of commission for now."

Officer Aino of Tokyo MPD filled in that blank. Ami nodded, filing the information away for later. She was just about done reviewing the case file now.

"I'm here for a man named Dr. Edward Smith. He was the chairman of the Blackstone board 6 years ago at least. Do you think that's him?."

Ami tapped on name on the list of Wyman's known associates. Dr. Edward Smith

"I'll run a search, see if we have anything in our database. Is there something specific about him?

"He's the one my mother met with shortly before she was murdered."

Katarina looked up in surprise.

"Minako, for your sake, I'm not asking questions, but I'm concerned about something. Ami, if this is personal, maybe you shouldn't be working the case"

"Katarina, all due respect, but I don't give a shit. This is not your business."

Minako stepped in belatedly to diffuse the situation. The concept that Ami would _escalate_ things was still foreign to her.

"Ami, calm down. She's here to help us...and Katarina, I am afraid this is Sailor Senshi business."

Katarina learned long ago to defer to Minako's judgment in matters concerning the Dark Kingdom. This was technically not her jurisdiction.

"Blackstone owns a warehouse in North Woolwich. It's in a rough area, and completely unlike their other land holdings. I've always wondered, but we've never had enough evidence for a warrant to actually search the place. If you are looking for something, that's where I'd start."

"Good thing we aren't police then. Let's go Minako."

"Ami?"

"Yes agent?"

"I'm sorry to hear about your mother."

Ami interrupted before the attempted bonding moment went too far.

"Don't. Smith might have started it, but I'm the one who killed her."

Ami walked out the door without acknowledging Katarina further. Minako looked over apologetically. She'd have to explain the situation in more detail on the way to the warehouse. Katarina deserved some explanation after that bit of drama.

* * *

2 hours of horrible cross London traffic and 15 minutes of reconnaissance later, the senshi duo were preparing to enter the abandoned looking warehouse. Katarina stayed behind, waiting at the car for the purposes of plausible deniability. Minako picked the lock with practiced efficiency. She and Ami then slid into the warehouse to investigate.

They were not prepared to walk in on 6 men in black suits sitting around a large conference table.

"Mercury-sama!"

Oh shit. Ami didn't see this coming. What did she just get Minako into?

The men looked shocked to see her. They scrambled back from their chairs. Ami expected to see guns drawn at the intruders, but they stood up as one and bowed.

Ami barely managed to keep the shock off her face. She _really_ did not see that coming.

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Welcome to London! Welcome to Act 2!  
Thank you for coming along dear readers. I hope you enjoy the journey._

 _Continuity notes: Katarina is Minako's Interpol friend from ep 42 Sailor Venus' Past! Minako's Tragic Past. Not much to say about that episode, except that it is the episode that establishes that Minako spent some time fighting crime in London and has a sisterly relationship with Interpol officer Katarina something-or-another. Ami was kind of just being a dismissive hyper focused jerk when she doesn't catch Katarina's last name in story, but the meta reason is that the anime itself never reveals Katarina's last name either.  
_

* * *

 _Flavour notes: A quick shout out to the Hendrix and Handel Museum in London's West End. Minako seems the type that would appreciate psychedelic rock, free loving, anti-establishment, kooky goddess of love that she is. The West End is also known for some crazy crazy expensive real estate. The East End...not so much._


	9. Happiness is a Warm Gun

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Act 2: A Journey of 6000 Miles

 _Chapter 9: Happiness is a Warm Gun - wherein Ami and Minako engage in a dangerous game with mobsters_

* * *

"Mercury-sama! You've returned to us!"

Shit. Fuck. Who the hell are these people? They spoke English, but seemed to think she was this "Mercury-sama". Ami noted the unexpected use of the Japanese honorific with some amusement. Assuming she _was_ this Mercury-sama in question, they must have known her during that missing two week period of her life. She must have done something besides stab Rei at the temple while she was fully under the influence of Queen Metaria. Anything could have happened then...such as her leading this group of mobsters. Ami tried not to look as confused as she felt. One wrong move, and the game was over.

This was bad. Ami took a quick glance around the room. 6 men, humans. Likely all armed. Ami recognized a face or two from Katarina's files. They must have interrupted a meeting of the Blackstone Group. At least now they could tell Katarina what the warehouse was being used for.

Minako was standing frozen in shock behind her. Katarina was in the car outside on watch. Ami calculated their odds in a fight: terrible. Throwing Mercury and Venus into the equation? 6 corpses. No answers. Still terrible.

Only one option then. Ami fervently hoped she was right.

She strode into the room, cold and confident. She locked one of the men at random in a icy glare.

"You're surprised to see me?"

The mobster quailed.

"Forgive me Mercury-sama. Lady Pandora had indicated that she was running the operation now. We were told you were….gone?"

Lady Pandora. That was new information. Good start. Keep going.

"I will deal with Lady Pandora when it is appropriate."

Whoever the hell she was...Ami couldn't risk asking for more details yet without tipping her hand.

Ami walked further into the room, discreetly looking for details and escape routes. She palmed a stray letter opener she saw lying on a desk. Even an improvised weapon was better than none if things escalated.

Minako followed her close, subtly affecting the manner of a subordinate bodyguard. She always did catch on quick.

The men looked at Ami expectantly, clearly waiting for orders.

Alright then, two birds, one stone.

"Give me a status report. I need to know if we are operating on schedule, or if there will need to be changes around here."

Ami left the implied threat hanging in the air. These men answered to Mercury-sama. "Mercury-sama" she could be.

'Wyman lost his youma prototype-"

Wyman. The one they already knew about. Were there others?

"Yes, yes, last month in Hong Kong. Why do you try my patience with minutiae? How fare the others?"

Ami hoped the bluff was vague enough to not blow her cover if there were in fact, no others. Luckily, these men all seemed to be terrified of her. She wondered what she had done to command this sort of respect.

"I don't know. Except for the 'What' youma prototype, Lady Pandora took them all back to Tokyo under her personal command."

Great. Youma prototypes? What the hell was 'What'? No details or anything. The only certain thing was that there were now an unknown number of youma in Tokyo working towards who-knows-what. Just like the bad old days.

Ami thought quickly, processing the limited information she had.

If the loss of one was noteworthy, then there couldn't be too many left. These men spoke with deference to a Lady Pandora and they used to answer to Mercury-sama. They were obviously Dark Kingdom then. They must serve some useful function to have been involved over an extended period of time. Ami tried to figure out what their role was. They all seemed human enough. What could they do for the Dark Kingdom? What could the Dark Kingdom do for them?

These men... one of had to be Smith. The same Smith that fed her mother to Queen Metaria. The pawn that opened the game. Ami scanned the faces of the 6 men, wondering who she was here to kill.

Ami took a deep breath. She needed to calm down. No facial expressions. No tells. Be Mercury-sama. One wrong move now could get Minako killed as well. Focus. What next?

Shit. Focus. The "What" prototype. That almost slipped her mind. It was probably something like the "Why" prototype that Haruka and Michiru took care of in Hong Kong. If this "What" wasn't in Tokyo then odds are that it was here. Fuck. One of men here was probably a youma in disguise. No way to warn Minako either. Ami was on her own for now.

There was no way around it. She needed more data. The glow of a computer monitor a side office caught Ami's eye. She directed her next question to the man who had spoke to her first.

"You. Are last month's records kept on that terminal? I don't have time to wait for your reports."

He was likely not the youma. Ami desperately tried to remember everything Michiru had told her about the Why prototype. It didn't seem very capable of holding a long conversation. She hoped that was true of the "What" prototype as well.

"Yes Mercury-sama."

"Go pull up the information I asked for. I'll be by to review it after I've inspected the rest of this facility. Is the perimeter secure?"

He would do as she asked, Ami had no doubt of that.

"It is Mercury-sama. I saw to it myself."

A thin man spoke up. Ami absently noticed that he was shivering from the cold as she glared at him. Mercury-sama wasn't the type to tolerate anyone questioning her authority.

"And I have reason to trust your competence now?"

She didn't wait for his response. She turned on her heel and gestured for Minako to follow her out of the room.

* * *

The two women stepped out of the warehouse, "inspecting" the building.

Minako let out a huge sigh of relief as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Phew! I was shitting bricks in there. Good job "Mercury-sama". That was ice cold."

Ami shot her a look, warning her to be silent.

"I believe one of those men is a youma in disguise. I don't know which one yet though."

Minako rolled with the situation as ever.

"The one with the yellow tie probably isn't. He can't keep his eyes off my boobs. Mustache boy too actually."

Ami reflexively looked at Minako's breasts as well.

No comment. Data was data. Take it and move on.

"The thin man was cold. He was shivering...I don't imagine that a youma would have that reflex. The one in the computer room seems human too based on his speech patterns. Haruka and Michiru mentioned the youma they fought wasn't able to hold conversations for long. I can knock him out when I get back in."

"Doesn't matter. We transform now, go back in. That should draw the youma out."

"No, we need information. We go in as Senshi, they'll have time to scorch earth the place. I need access that computer. We'll be able to track down the whole operation from there. I'll go back in alone. There's no reason for you to be involved. Go get Katarina out of here."

"Hell no. I'm coming with you."

"You armed? There's 6 of them, two of us. This is dangerous."

"Welcome to my life. Order me to guard the door. That will keep them off you while you do your computer thingy."

"Fine. Don't do anything stupid. Rei's going to kill me if anything happens to you."

Minako smiled cheekily.

"She'd kill me too, if anything happened to me. Let's find a way to separate them from each other. Maybe we can take them out one at a time til we win the whack-a-youma grand prize."

Ami nodded, and prepared to step back into the lions' den.

* * *

Minako might be crazy, but Ami knew a good plan when she heard one.

"You two, outside. Watch the docks. I don't want any interruptions."

Ami waved two of the mobsters outside hoping to thin the herd.

"I have matters to attend, no one in or out until I say so."

Minako stood by the door, following her "mistress's" command.

Ami walked into the office and closed the door. Approximately 16% chance that she just locked herself in a room with a youma if her any one of her assumptions were incorrect. She drew her letter opener and hoped for the best. Otherwise, this was going to hell in a handbasket.

The mobster she sent in here was occupied with the computer. Busy pulling up the reports for Mercury-sama. He didn't notice Ami step behind him, but he did notice the prick of a "knife" at his throat.

"Gun on the table. Not a sound if you wish to live."

He obeyed, afraid for his very human life.

Ami picked up the gun and put the Mercury Computer on the table instead.

"Good. Now plug this in. Cable jack's on the side...That's it...nice and slow...hands where I can see them. "

The mobster did as she ordered. The little supercomputer copied the contents of everything on Blackstone's server automatically. As usual, the Computer executed its directive flawlessly. She would have smiled at it fondly if she weren't so deep into character. Hopefully, there would be time to go over the data later.

Back to business. 5 mobsters, a youma and the mysterious Lady Pandora were still in play.

"Tell me everything you know about Pandora."

"I don't know anything! She came to us! Told us that if we followed her, we would all have more money and power than we knew what to do with."

Useless. No doubt they were human however. They were in it for money and power.

Ami had to cut the questions short. Not even Minako could keep the mobsters from being suspicious if she spent any more time in here.

"Answer my questions truthfully if you wish to live. Which of you is Smith?"

Ami tapped the gun against his head meaningfully. The mobster seemed to get the point.

When she had all the information she needed, a quick pistol whip to the back of the head ended the interrogation neatly.

* * *

Ami opened the door and stepped back into the warehouse proper. Minako stood aside for her deferentially.

The remaining men in the room looked at her expectantly. There was only one she was interested in right now.

Ami looked into the eyes of the man who started the chain reaction that ended with mother's death. He looked back at her innocently. Did he not understand what he's done?

The gun grew heavier in her pocket. What's another kill on her account? At least this man deserved it.

She reached into her pocket.

Just then, the warehouse door blew open. One of the two men she had sent off returned unexpectedly.

Ami was forced to deal with the intrusion.

"Mercury-sama! Apologies. We have a situation outside."

Dammit. What now?

She did the only thing she could. Ami followed the man outside. Minako followed closely at her heel.

There was an extra person outside the warehouse. The Blackstone mobster held a tall woman at gunpoint.

Shit. Katarina had been made. Ami thought quickly. She hoped for both their sakes that Minako's composure would hold just a little while longer.

"What have we here..."

Ami strode forward deliberately. She reached into Katarina's pocket and drew out her badge.

"Police. Fascinating. If I was concerned about law enforcement, then I'd be impressed."

Ami tossed the badge over the guardrail into the river. It sunk without a trace into the dark waters.

Ami trailed a finger down Katarina's cheek. The coldness in her blue-black eyes made a mockery of the gentleness in that action.

"You are very brave, to have come here alone."

Ami's voice rang out clearly in the London night. She leaned in close as a lover might, caressing Katarina's cheek.

"Check your pocket. All the best Agent. My apologies."

The second statement was murmured for Katarina's ears only.

Ami's hand flashed behind Katarina's head and slammed her face down into the guardrail before a stray expression could betray her surprise.

Ami snapped her fingers at Minako and the man with the yellow tie.

"You. And you. Take her somewhere secluded and deal with her."

Ami waved at the river. Troops dismissed.

* * *

The mobster grabbed Katarina and started to drag her to the river's edge. Ami walked back into the warehouse with the remaining 4 mobsters-slash-board members.

Fuck it. Minako was just going to call them "the bad guys" from now on. Innocent-until-proven-guilty could wait until _after_ the youma was dead.

Minako frowned. Only one for her to deal with? Mr. Yellow Tie. Minako was insulted. Ami must not think very highly of her skills.

There. The bad guy was distracted, and everyone else was out of sight. Minako quickly and efficiently sucker punched him in the back of the head. He went down like a pile of rocks.

Minako grabbed Katarina before she could hit the ground as well.

"Katarina, Katarina! Are you ok? Can you breathe?"

Katarina opened her eyes. Blood was gushing from her nose. Minako was concerned.

"I'm ok. I think my nose is broken. Bloody hell, your friend is terrifying."

Remembering the last moments before she was smashed into the guardrail. Katarina checked her pocket.

"Looks like she slipped this thing into my pocket. Any idea what it is?"

Katarina pulled out the Mercury Computer.

"Oh shit. Hang on to that. It's probably got all the evidence you'd need to take down the whole board. Ami's going to want that back after though...I hope."

Minako looked up worriedly. A warehouse, by the river. Aw hell...she was getting too old for this shit.

"I have to go. I've got a bad feeling about this. Stay safe. Call for backup."

Once again, Minako ran into a dark warehouse. Katarina watched after her with the worst sense of deja vu.

* * *

Minako wasn't sure what she was expecting when she walked into the room, but what she got was scene out of a Hollywood action movie.

One bad guy was unconscious, slumped against a pile of crates, another was face-down on the other side of the room.

A third was on his knees, begging for mercy. Ami held a gun trained at his head.

The fourth was up and sneaking up behind them. Ami didn't appear to notice.

That was a lie. Before Minako could shout out a warning, her fellow senshi whipped the gun around and fired a shot point blank into the fourth man's face.

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Ouch, poor Katarina. Last time she watched Minako run into a warehouse, bad things happened. It's like deja vu all over again.  
I'm not really sure why Ami looked at Minako's boobs as well. Just reflex given the topic of discussion I suppose. Ami-chan, you closet ecchi. Thanks tiffanywillow, my beta, for sneaking that line in there through to the final draft. It cracks me up too much for me to drop it now, even though it's totally inappropriate to the scene. Forgive this author their quirks dear readers._

 _Anyways, yes. Chapter 9 ends with a bang. Onto Chapter 10!_

 _PM/Reviews always appreciated. Cheers! - Drifter._


	10. You Can't Always Get What You Want

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Act 2: A Journey of 6000 Miles

 _Chapter 10: You Can't Always Get What You Want - wherein Ami struggles with what she wants, and Minako steps up in a big way_

* * *

Minako's eyes widened in shock. Did Ami just straight up murder someone?

More shots rang out. Ami kept firing. Wait...what was happening? Why were there flower petals coming out of the gun? She didn't know Ami could do that. This was surreal.

Now Ami was kicking the kneeling man in the head. He fell over, hopefully unconscious and not dead as well.

What the bloody fuck? None of this made any sense.

Impossible. Ami just killed someone. In cold blood. This wasn't happening.

Good, this wasn't real. This wasn't happening. Her friend wasn't a murderer. Corpses didn't get up and start laughing. They didn't grow new faces out of bloody hamburger mess...they didn't grow antennas either. She was just imagining everything. This shit didn't happen in real life. Maybe it was mind control? Maybe she was finally having a long overdue psychotic break?

Bloody hell! Fuck her life! What was she thinking? This was _her_ life. She was Aino Minako! The pretty sailor suited senshi Sailor Venus.

Weird shit happened all the time. Minako snapped out of shock the instant she understood the situation.

Ami. Shot a youma. In the face. With a gun.

A youma. That was so reassuring that Minako laughed out loud as she called to her power.

"Venus Crystal Power! Make Up!"

Venus felt Mercury's familiar power ripple out beside her simultaneously.

When the lightshow was over, the two senshi stood back to back, watching the youma literally regroup.

When its mouth grew back. It only had one thing to say.

"WHHHHHAAAAAT!"

No point in introductions then, time to get to work.

"Shine Aqua...Illlusion!"

"Venus Love and Beauty Shock!"

The heavy boardroom table flew up in response. The attacks shattered the table that now shielded the youma. The broken pieces of the table came flying back at Venus and Mercury.

Venus heard the hiss of the wooden shrapnel flying by her face. Goddamit. It wasn't wood anymore?! The shattered table bits were now all jagged metal pieces. The youma had transformed the broken table into a bloody frag grenade. What kind of a power was this?

Years of experience sent Venus ducking for cover behind a wall. She who fights and runs away, may live to fight another day. The youma transformed a bunch of crates into rocks and them flying around the room now. A whirlwind of fucking boulders a pretty damn good reason to go to ground. She dragged one of the unconscious bad guys out of the crossfire for good measure. Katarina would want them all alive for the trial.

She needed a situation report ASAP. Instinct had her looking for Sailor Mercury.

Venus peered around the corner carefully. The youma was standing in the middle of the room, hurling projectiles at random hoping to end the battle with sheer firepower. Mercury was behind a pillar, she had her ice sword out and...went running straight at the youma.

Kami-sama. The girl was going to get herself killed.

She had to do something to take control of the situation. Mercury was doing well, considering, but this was the single dumbest assault plan she'd ever seen. Too high risk. There had to be a better way. Mercury was fighting like she was alone when they should be fighting as a unit.

Fuck!

"VENUS LOVE ME CHAIN!"

The golden chain whipped around Mercury and pulled her out of the path of a flying boulder.

"Mercury! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Venus pulled her down out of the line of fire.

"The youma, I scanned it. There's some serious damage at the back of its head where the exit wound is. One shot, that's all I need."

"Baka. Stop trying to fight alone. We're a team. Are you with me?"

Mercury nodded. Venus had her trust for now.

"Good. We fight smart then. Lay down some cover. I'm going to circle around and ambush the son of a bitch from behind. Draw it's fire as soon as you see me in position on top of that catwalk. I need the youma distracted long enough to hit it with a Love and Beauty Shock. Understood?

A freezing fog immediately obscured the area. Venus stealthily crawled out of her impromptu staging area and made her way to the elevated catwalk behind the youma.

She got there with no difficulties and flashed a quick V sign at Mercury. The operation was a go.

Mercury stepped out from behind the wall, firing off fast jets of water as she ran across the room.

The youma turned to track it's new target. Venus saw the opening on the back of its head.

"VENUS LOVE AND BEAUTY SHOCK!"

One shot, one kill. The youma didn't stand a chance.

* * *

There was a loud crash. All of the flying boulders dropped like rocks as the youma disintegrated. When the dust had settled, they were crates again. The warehouse was a disaster zone. Katarina would have to sort all this out. Venus was out of here. She released her Senshi powers, becoming Aino Minako once again.

Minako looked around for her fellow senshi. Last she saw, Mercury was diving behind a pillar. They needed to talk.

Ami was standing amidst the rubble. She called to Minako in a strained voice.

"Minako. I need your help here..."

An unconscious man lay on the ground. The same man that was begging for mercy just before the youma revealed itself. Ami was looking at him with a strange expression.

"If I counted correctly, there should be one more bullet left..."

Minako noticed the gun in her hand then. Her eyes widened briefly before she managed to squash down her rising panic. Focus. Stay calm. Don't escalate. Talk Ami down. Ami didn't want to do this right? She asked for help. Talk her down.

"Ami. Are you alright? I'm here to help you. You can tell me what's going on. I'm listening."

Ami hesitated. Minako held her hands in a gesture of openness. She needed Ami to keep talking.

"This man. This is Dr. Edward Smith. He lured my mother to London. That's how she was possessed by Queen Metaria. This is where it all began. I made a vow. I would destroy the Dark Kingdom, or die trying. This man is Dark Kingdom."

Minako needed Ami to make eye contact with her, anything to break her downward spiral. Ami's hands started shaking. Even an accidental gun discharge now would take her past the point of no return.

"Look at me Ami. I understand. We did that already. We destroyed a youma together just now. You didn't do anything wrong. You haven't hurt him yet Ami. That counts for a lot. We can all walk away from this together ok?"

"I have to do this. I promised I would."

"You don't Ami. I understand why you feel this way, but I need you to put the gun down and slide it over to me slowly. You also promised Usagi that you'd come back."

Ami was staring at the gun now. She turned it over, looking at it like it was something she'd never seen before. Her hands were shaking even harder now. Minako's eyes widened in horror. There was no way she'd be able to get to Ami in time.

"I...can't... do this...anymore."

 _clink_

Ami suddenly slid the rack back and emptied the last bullet from the chamber. She dropped the gun and fell to her knees.

Minako ran over at once and kicked the gun away. She had Ami now.

"Oh gods...if you weren't here...I'm sorry Minako. I need to get out of here right now. I can't do this."

"It's ok...I got you. You're not alone. You've got back up. Katarina is in the car. The local police are on their way. She can take care of things here."

The senshi left the area quietly. Minako felt some guilt that once again, Sailor V had left a half destroyed warehouse behind for Katarina to deal with. She made a mental note to pick up the Mercury Computer from her later and have Ami give her a copy of all the evidence they had on the Blackstone Group. Taking down an organized cabal of criminal financiers...that ought to help make things up to Katarina for all the trouble they just caused.

* * *

Back at the hotel, Ami seemed determined to ignore absolutely everything but the data she got from the Blackstone server.

Minako watched her with concern. Her senshi's emotional state was incredibly fragile right now. Justified perhaps, given the circumstances...but also terrifying. The amount of power they each carried... the consequences of just one mistake were dire. Senshi were meant to protect people, not to kill. Ami almost murdered a man today in cold blood. That was a slippery slope that led to a freefall from which there was no return.

There really was no safety net really, except for Usagi. They all believed in the Princess, and she believed unwavering in them. None of the senshi would never do anything to break that trust. Except now possibly for Ami...

Sure, there were times when Minako herself was frustrated with the human world. She was a police officer. There were absolutely nights when she wanted to just jump ahead and crescent beam the drunk driver that just killed a family of 4, or the rapist that was stalking women at the bus station. There was a clear line between wishing and doing. Minako knew that everyone had these types of thoughts at some point or another, but having actual power made that line even harder to walk.

Tonight was too close for comfort. Minako was at a loss as to how to handle a rogue Senshi. She had very deliberately never considered this scenario. It was her worst nightmare.

One step forward, two steps back. At least Ami was focusing on something sort of productive now rather than staring blankly space the way she was before she got her computer back from Katarina.

The computer made a beeping sound. Minako heard Ami mutter something under her breath.

"Ami, what is it?"

"We need to go to Zurich. I sorted through all of Blackstone's shell companies. Their money all traces back to one source. An account with Credit Suisse. If I can get to their physical server, I should be able track where the account is being administered from. That could lead us to whoever this Pandora is."

Ami wanted to hack a Swiss Bank account? Minako was too tired to argue. She was just going to go along with this increasingly fucked up ride. Someone had to ride shotgun with Ami right now. She was in no fit state to take care of herself. She noticed that Ami hadn't eaten or slept since the plane ride to London yesterday. Ugh. Did all that shit really happen in just one day? The jet-lag was throwing her off.

For all the craziness, she still considered Ami one of her best friends, and it killed her to see how much Ami had suffered since the night that her mother died. Minako would never forgive herself if anything happened to Ami under her watch.

Ami reminded Minako of herself after her first kill. She was so young back then, barely a teenager. She didn't fully grasp the implications of the act until much later.

She was thankful that she had Artemis guiding her though everything. On her own, she would have cracked long ago. Ami isolated herself after her first kill – and she had killed her own mother to boot. That had to leave some scars.

Thinking about her early days as Sailor V triggered a memory.

"Pandora... Funny. One of the first villains I faced as Sailor V was named Pandora as well.

"Think there's a connection?"

"Doubt it. I killed her. Melted her with a Crescent Beam."

"Oh..I see...Can I ask you a personal question Minako-chan?"

"Of course. But I get one in return."

Ami accepted those terms.

"How did you deal with things? You've killed before."

Minako nodded slowly, taking her time to resist the urge to make a joke or change the topic. This was clearly important to Ami right now.. She considered her words carefully.

"Many times. More than I care to count. I told myself it had to be done. There were innocent people I had to save, and that given my powers at the time, there wasn't anything else I could have done to save everyone."

"Rei told me that it still bothers you."

"It does...I try hard to move on from where I thought being Sailor V meant that my life would be about fighting and death. Usagi showed me there was a different way. I think that's why I became a cop. I need to keep believing that there are good people in the world to protect, and that I can make a difference. That's not so bad, because then it'll all have been worthwhile...and I'm not alone now. I have all of you fighting at my side. You are all so important to me."

Minako smiled gently at Ami. The smaller girl seemed to be at a loss for words.

"Ok. My question now. Ami...how are you?"

"I'm not sure. I'm still trying to process everything, but I think I worked something out. I didn't pull the trigger. Thank you Minako. I owe you. I'll make it up to you somehow. Thank you."

A solid step forward then. Minako smiled widely at Ami's progress and tossed her a sandwich from her bag.

"You can start by eating this sarnie I got you and then getting some sleep. Cheese and pickle. It's an English thing. Trust me. You look like you need it. I need you alert in case we run into more Dark Kingdom. I got the travel arrangements this time. We should be able to get to Zurich by the end of the week."

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Continuity notes: Minako kills quite a few Dark Kingdom agents in Codename Sailor V...that can't be good for the mental state of a 13 year old girl...but alas, this is not her story right now :(._

 _Alternate chapter title- "Another One Bites the Dust"...So long youma What. We hardly knew ye!  
_

 _I really did want to make a Queen/Freddy Mercury reference in the chapter title (because you know, Sailor Mercury har har), but in the end, "You Can't Always Get What You Want" was a better title I think to capture the essence of the chapter._

 _British song titles...golf clap to any one that noticed the references I slipped into the London based chapter titles. For the record:_

 _West End Girls - Pet Shop Boys_  
 _Happiness is a Warm Gun - The Beatles_  
 _You Can't Always Get What You Want - The Rolling Stones_

 _It wasn't intentional, but the lyrics of the song "West End Girls" actually had a surprising amount of foreshadowing for this part of the fanfic. How weird is that?_

 _Thus concludes our little trip to London. Ami and Minako's excellent European adventure continues on to Switzerland._

 _But first, a quick trip back to Tokyo to see how Rei, Mako and Usagi are doing._

 _Onto Chapter 11!_

 _Thank you for reading! PM/Reviews always appreciated._


	11. Somewhere in Tokyo

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Act 2: A Journey of 6000 Miles

 _Chapter 11: Somewhere in Tokyo - wherein we follow up on Rei, Usagi and Makoto back home in Tokyo. Oh the places they'll go._

* * *

 **Several Hours ago in Tokyo, at Narita International Airport**

Rei stood outside the airport gates until Minako was out of sight. Ami was already long gone, but Minako had lingered back until the last possible moment.

She was the only one of the Senshi that came to see them off. Makoto had issues with airports and Ami, so it didn't seem fair to ask her to come. Usagi had wanted to be here, but Ami insisted that she not come say goodbye for some reason. That left Rei to see them off by herself. It was a lonely feeling watching Minako walk away. After last night, Rei wished she was headed off to Europe as well. Something about an international life still appealed to her, even if her roots were firmly here in Japan.

Her temple was a crime scene at the moment. 5 total strangers attacked in the middle of the night. 3 of them were in the hospital now. The 4th and 5th, who were the only ones fit for police questioning, had no answers. One thought he was just having a violent nightmare. He had no idea how he got to the temple. The other thought he was taking part in a judo tournament right up until the point he woke up in an ambulance.

The police could make no sense of their testimony and were shocked when Rei declined to press any charges.

It wasn't that Rei was the particularly forgiving type, it was just that she knew something the police didn't.

This was the work of a youma.

The quick fire reading she had done last night didn't lead to anything conclusive. Rei saw the dark energy signature youma involvement easily enough, but its exact location was constantly shifting. It was impossible to locate. A call to Michiru revealed that she had the same results in the Aqua Mirror – except that she felt the energy of 3 more youma in the city on top of the one Rei had felt.

Rei noted with more than a little annoyance that Michiru's precognition proved to be more accurate once again.

Last night, a youma violated her home, and she hadn't seen it coming. On top of that, Minako was away in another country for who knows how long. Rei knew she had to go, but the timing was awful.

All together, that left Rei feeling somewhat vulnerable. She hated that feeling. At least Minako promised to check in from London when she got there. Better yet, she promised to pass on any details from the police investigation regarding the attack at the temple. Rei knew that she would keep her word.

On that thought, she contacted Usagi and Makoto and called a senshi meeting. Just like old times. It was a shame they couldn't hold the meeting at any of the usual places. Her house was out of the question and the Fruit Parlour Crown was awkward, given that it was managed by Makoto's ex-girlfriend.

In the end, they all agreed to just meet at the playground near the ice cream stand that Usagi liked. Rei wasn't sure why anyone would build a playground under an overpass, but it was always conveniently deserted. She didn't like it, but there it was. Neutral ground.

She felt somewhat uneasy about it all the same. It was rare for Rei to be so sentimental, but she found comfort in familiar places. She liked to think the spirits in those places knew and accepted her already. To her, going somewhere new was like meeting strangers. Exciting and full of opportunities, but not something she wanted when she was already feeling overwhelmed.

Rei grit her teeth. The feeling of being off-centre was really starting to piss her off. She knew from experience that the best way for her to get her edge back was to hunt down that damn youma for some payback.

Rei looked forward to the upcoming battle.

* * *

When psychic powers couldn't pinpoint the location of the youma, the Senshi went back to good old fashioned legwork.

The only real lead they had was the 5 assailants at the temple. Minako called and leaked the background checks the police had done. None of them seemed to know each other, nor did they seem to be lying about anything. The only common thread was that all 5 men were practicing martial artists. The last thing each of them remembered was being at their gym. It wasn't much of a lead, seeing as they all went to different dojos in completely different parts of the city, but it was better than nothing.

The only thing to do was to check into each gym individually.

For the purposes of convenience/convertible, Haruka and Michiru took the 3 furthest from Juuban. Rei, Makoto and Usagi could handle the other two via the joys of public transportation.

The first gym yielded nothing. It was a boxing gym full of gross sweaty alpha males. No dark energy, no enemies. The most interesting thing there was the guy that wouldn't stop hitting on Usagi. He wound up getting KO'd by a pissed off and cranky Makoto. Rei sighed. She did not like men.

The second gym was different. It was eerily quiet and Rei felt the dark energy even from the outside. Usagi made a quick call to Haruka and Michiru to let them know about the situation. Then the three Senshi walked in to investigate.

The moment the door closed behind them, Rei knew something was horribly wrong. Suddenly, there was only darkness. Reality ceased to exist.

There was absolutely nothing inside the building. Absolutely nothing. Less than nothing. It was a void. Space itself didn't seem to exist

"Rei? Mako?"

Usagi's voice rang out of the nowhere, calling to her friends.

"I'm here! Where are you?"

Makoto's voice was shaky. Just on the edge of hyper ventilating. Rei was glad she wasn't the only one experiencing this void. Her heart was beating fast and it was a struggle to keep from panicking herself. If there was a hell, this was exactly what she imagined it would be. Except that Usagi wouldn't be here.

"Usagi!"

Rei transformed as called out into the darkness looking for Usagi. They had to find her. Something wicked this way comes...

An unexpected fourth voice came out of the mist.

"Where...where do you fear most? Where?"

The void slowly began to take form. It grew bitterly cold. A wind whipped up, snow blew in her face until Mars could barely see Jupiter standing directly beside her. Not that it mattered. Mars didn't need to see to know where she was. She could feel it.

This was a familiar place. One never forgets their first death.

D-Point.

* * *

Cold! Cold! Cold! Cold! Cold!

When did everything turn into snow? Usagi's eyes lit up. She could see Rei and Makoto in the distance. She had been so scared just now when she thought she was alone.

Wherever here was...

Usagi looked around. No. She had to be dreaming. This couldn't be real.

This couldn't be D-point.

"USAGI-CHAN!"

"USAGI!"

Her friends. They were calling for her. They were coming for her.

Sailor Mars and Sailor Jupiter ran up beside her. Jupiter to her left, Mars to her right. They stood guard and looked around for an enemy to fight.

Usagi transformed and joined the fight belatedly.

This was getting scary. It was too quiet. There was no enemy here. There was nothing to fight but the cold. There was nothing to do but relive old memories.

Jupiter to her left, again dangling from a tower of ice. Mars, to her right, sprawled out lifelessly on top of a frozen mound. The images were seared into her brain. In her nightmares. Get out. Get out.

No. Not again. Never again.

The seconds seemed to tick by like hours.

"Hello? Is there anyone here?"

Sailor Moon called out into the wasteland, hoping to talk to whatever was causing this situation. Things didn't have to end the same way twice. They would all be ok and go home safely tonight.

Mars suddenly shoved her to the ground for no reason at all.

"Over there! I can see it! To your right!"

Jupiter was shouting too. Sailor Moon looked to her right. There was nothing there but Mars.

"SPARKLING WIDE PRESSURE!"

Jupiter shot her lighting ball. It was heading straight for Mars.

Sailor Moon fully expected Mars to dodge the attack. She was always so graceful and daring in battle. She never ducked until the last second.

Something was wrong this time. Mars didn't react at all until the lighting crashed into her. Her scream of pain, caused by Jupiter, was so wrong. This shouldn't be happening. Jupiter would never hurt Mars on purpose. This had to be a trick.

"Jupiter! Stop! What are you doing?"

"The youma! It's right there!"

"Stop! You're seeing things! That's Mars!"

"No! Sailor Moon! I WON'T LET YOU TOUCH HER! JUPITER OAK EVOLUTION! "

Leaves of lightning flew at Mars. There was no way she could dodge them all. Usagi did the only thing she could. She threw herself on top of Mars, hoping to protect her from the worst.

The impact never came.

Jupiter screamed as she saw Sailor Moon jump in front of her attack. The lighting flew off in random directions. No trick in the world could make her hurt Sailor Moon.

A small explosion and an inhuman noise sounded above them. Looks like Jupiter managed to hit something accidentally with that electrical explosion.

A youma finally flickered into view. It was tall one, with a weird antenna in the middle of its face. It was also hurt now, and angry. It was very angry.

"Where are you aiming? Where am I? WHEERRRE?"

The youma's mocking voice rang out as it disappeared again.

Pillars of ice shot out of the ground. Mars and Jupiter were caught off guard. They were being crushed. It was real this time. Their screams were real.

No! She had to stop this! She swore to never let this happen again.

She was Sailor Moon. She was Super Sailor Moon. She was older, stronger, and wiser. She had grown up so much since the first time she was here.

It didn't matter what the situation was. She was going to save Rei and Makoto. They were important to her, and they were important to people she cared about. Minako and Ami needed people to come home to. Minako needed to run towards Rei at the airport and knock her down with a big kiss. Ami had to get better and learn to love again. They should all have the happiness in life that Usagi dreamed of.

Everyone was important to her. This wasn't about power. This wasn't about destroying a youma. This was about saving her friends. It didn't matter where the youma was at all. Nothing mattered except for the people she cared about.

She focused on the beautiful dreams she had for her friends as she called out her power.

"MOON GORGEOUS...MEDITATION!"

The kaleidoscopic power eliminated everything in the room. It blew D-Point away and pushed back the void. Reality returned to normal. The senshi found themselves in an empty gym in Tokyo again. Wherever it was, they heard the youma's final cry as it disintegrated.

"WHEEEEEEERRRREEE?"

* * *

 _A.N._

 _We are officially past the halfway point of this story dear readers! Good to see you here. Greatly appreciated. *bows to you all*_

 _Thank you to reviewer Awesomesauce! You're awesomesauce! I started writing this story with the intention to really deconstruct the 'happily ever after' I wedged into the prequel of this story 8 years ago. It took a while, but I am proud to be able to take the long way around in Ami's journey to recovery. Thank you for reading_ _!_

 _Hello and goodbye to the second Monster of the Day to appear in this story! Goodbye youma "Where"! Your powers were vaguely defined, and your death shall move the plot forward. RIP wherever you are._

 _Also, my first and only Usagi POV. I love her, but have a hard time getting into her headspace deep enough to write it. Kudos to all you Usagi writers out there._

* * *

 _Sidenote: To actually define youma Where's powers...I think of it as being something like the DD girls illusion stone back in the North Pole. Where has the ability to project environmental/location based illusions that actually pack a physical punch. Where also has limited psychic ability to scan minds to find locations to imitate, and the ability to project different illusions to a number of people simultaneously._

 _Up next: Chapter 12! We are heading back to round out the Ami and Minako travelogue with a sidetrip to Zurich._


	12. Withdrawing the Bargain

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Act 2: A Journey of 6000 Miles

 _Chapter 12: Withdrawing the Bargain - wherein Ami and Minako arrive in Zurich and Ami throws due process out the window_

* * *

 _taptaptaptap-taptaptaptap-taptaptaptap-taptaptaptap-_

Ami drummed her fingers on the desk at a rapid fire pace. Waiting for the Credit Suisse bank's internal console server to process her request was incredibly frustrating experience. She missed her mini computer. Her little blue powerhouse ran on superior technology and fairy dust - it would never leave her hanging like this.

Ami checked her watch again. 30 seconds gone. This was cutting it close.

The Mercury Computer could have done this in 3 seconds - probably less. Ami theorized that it processed and accessed data on a multi-dimensional system, thus pretty much bypassing all the usual laws of physics and thermodynamics. In her experience, it had dutifully performed each and every crazy function she had ever asked of it. It never let her down.

Today, she'd set her Computer to perform a brute force attack on the most secure bank server in Europe.

It was an inelegant, yet highly effective, means to an end. Technically impossible really given the time frame...but her blue machine had spit out the correct pass-codes in about 10 seconds. Even Ami was impressed. Not surprised really, but impressed. For the sake of her own ego, she wished she had used a more sophisticated hack. Then again, that was like using a lockpick when she had a perfectly good sledgehammer in hand. Why complicate things?

Returning to conventional technology was always such a letdown. Her little computer was simply magic. Certainly better than this hunk of junk that was the last barrier between her and the earthly bank accounts of the revived Dark Kingdom. Time was an issue here...

"Come on, come on…process already..."

 _*ding*_

Finally! Not a moment too soon. The sound of guards rushing towards the server room grew louder.

So the silent alarm actually had a response time of less than 2 minutes? Very impressive...definitely an in-house security team. Ami idly wondered if they were armed.

Too bad she'd had to set off that alarm in the first place. Unfortunately, the window was the only way in. Of course there was an alarm there.

The original escape plans were useless now. Out the window so to speak. That gave her an idea.

Ami poked her head outside and made some quick calculations.

Well…it worked in theory.

Ami shrugged, and walked back across the room to get a proper running start.

She narrowly avoided slipping on the frozen glass shards littering the floor as she dove headfirst out the broken window.

26 stories below, Minako looked up and yelled out a single word in shock.

"FUCK!"

* * *

 _One hour later:_

Venus lurked in the shadows on top of the bell tower. Appreciation of old architecture aside, this was their designated meeting spot in case the escape plan went awry. The moment that Sailor Mercury, no, wait - the fucking detransformed Mizuno Ami, jumped out a 26th storey window, was the moment that Minako figured that the plan went awry.

Balls out, shit in the fucking windmill awry.

Venus scanned the city to the north. There didn't seem to be an increase of police activity in the streets like one would expect if a girl somehow fell out the window of the biggest bank in the city….reassuring, but not really.

Reassuring would be if Ami would show up here right fucking now, then Minako could give her a piece of her fucking mind. Delivering news of Ami's death-by-idiocy to their friends back home wasn't a duty that she wanted to handle.

Ami-chan...Where the hell are you?

"V-chan!"

Sailor Mercury was perched on the edge of the tower above like a grinning gargoyle. Was she laughing?

"Mercury! You idiot! Where the hell have you been?"

Sailor Mercury dropped down and dangled off the edge of the roof, eyes shining with excitement

"Got the files we were after! Bloody hell. Whoever Pandora is, she seems to be in Tokyo, based on her bank activity anyways. Of course she would be ne? Oh and bonus! I wiped out all of Blackstone's bank accounts while I was in. Not bad ne?"

Mercury finally swung into the bell tower proper. Venus wanted to slap that insufferable smirk off her face more than ever

"Don't you ever pull off such a stupid, reckless, and UNNECESSARY risk like that ever again!"

"What? The window jumping thing? Don't worry about it. As long as I was Sailor Mercury before I hit the first roof, I was home free. Had to be sure to clear the security cameras just in case I missed one. After that it was bouncing between the two buildings like I was swimming lengths in a pool, but with more gravity. No harm, no foul"

"We had a plan. Plan was to go in, hack a one easy peasy public access terminal, grab a file, and leave. That does not involve disappearing up an elevator shaft and robbing the most secure bank in Europe.

"I had it under control!"

Venus continued like Mercury hadn't interrupted.

"….And on top of that. you're telling me that Sailor Mercury, wielder of the legendary Shabon Spray, couldn't have just fogged up the place and walked out the front door like any sane fucking person. No, it was absolutely fucking necessary to spontaneously rob a bank and JUMP OUT A 20 STOREY BUILDING? Do you even THINK anymore?"

"26… and well…I suppose that's also an option…but you got to admit. The window was way cooler."

"Tell that to Usagi and the others when I have to explain why you aren't coming home. Hey Mako? Yeah…no, Ami's dead now. She thought jumping out a window would be way cooler than being alive or whatever. Shit. Ami, this is not acceptable."

Mercury felt the adrenaline flow out as she let go of her Senshi powers. Venus – no, Minako, was looking at her now with a mixture of anger, concern and…pity?

"Minako. I'm sorry. This isn't a big deal. I wasn't thinking…"

"No you weren't. You really fucking weren't. Do you know what you've done? You wiped out a bunch of bank accounts connected to an organized crime ring of. Who knows how big deep this goes? How is Katarina going to prosecute the bunch she has back in London now? You probably just wiped all the evidence. I don't even know what the fuck you just did, but no way you didn't just start a crazy shitstorm. How did you think this is going to play out? Let me tell you. You hit the money. That means violence. Retaliation. Different gangs are going to blame each other. Best case scenario, local gangs are just going to step up and increase criminal activity to make up for lost profit. Worst case scenario, full out mob wars. People are going to get hurt and most of them will be innocent."

There. That knocked the cockiness off of Ami's face. It was briefly replaced with horror and then there was nothing. A blank expression. Ami was looking at the situation like she would a math problem.

"I can fix this. Let me handle it"

"No, Ami. Stop. You've done enough. I don't know what you are thinking anymore, but I've had enough of you working alone. We do things together, we're a team. Sailor Senshi. United we stand and all. Are you trying to get yourself killed or something?"

"What did you say?"

Ami looked sharply at her teammate. Where did she get that idea from? Minako's question hit too close to home.

Minako stared back at Ami. Ami was defensive, eyes cold and narrow. She was being more than a little threatening. Minako knew then that she was on the right track.

"No, hear me out. This is important. Do you care if you live or die? I noticed it before in London, back at the warehouse. You didn't hesitate at all before running at that youma through the flying boulders. It was completely idiotic. Even back when we were kids... the chess game, those nanobots...Come to think of it, the only times I've ever seen you act like this is when you were the only one in danger. You don't value your own life very much do you?"

"You didn't complain back at D-Point did you? Doesn't that technically make me a more effective Senshi anyways? You're overthinking it Minako."

Deflection. Minako was the master of that trait. She wasn't fooled. The day Mizuno Ami tells anyone they are over thinking anything, is the day that Mizuno Ami is lying through her teeth. Minako stood her ground.

"No. There's a difference between brave and reckless and you know it. A soldier who's careless with their own life is a waste and a liability. I was like that once, running off of nerve and adrenaline. I was convinced I had no future. That's why I asked you if you have a death wish…I understand the feeling. I've done stupid shit like this too, back in the day."

Ami turned away. She leaned heavily on the guardrail of the belfry as she collected her thoughts. Minako wished Ami would turn to face her rather than staring out over the river below.

"Honestly, I wasted the past 6 years of my life with self pity. If it weren't for my selfishness, we would have HAD all of this information about the Blackstone Group 6 years ago, and we could have dealt with it then and there. Who knows how many people they have hurt while I was fucking around in Germany? I've made a real mess of things and I have a lot to make up for. I figure I should go all in... Seems only fair."

That's it. Enough of that. Minako grabbed Ami by the arm and forcibly pulled her back from the edge.

"Doesn't work that way Ami. You can't cash in your life like that to wipe out the past. If you actually want to make amends then you actually need to keep living and work to make things better."

For all the roughness of her actions, Minako's voice was gentle. She could see that Ami was finally letting her tears fall freely.

"Minako...honestly. How do you live like that? I'm barely hanging on here. Sometimes, I just want to take off and disappear all over again. It seems like you guys would be better off that way.

"No we wouldn't. Ask Katarina, I did the same to her once. I ran away and faked my death after getting caught in a warehouse explosion. I didn't die, obviously, but it was close. I felt like it was just a matter of time anyways. If I didn't die that night... well my luck couldn't hold out forever right? That night just seemed as good a time as any to let them start moving on with their lives without me. I regret that now. I caused my friends so much pain for no good reason. I mean, If I had actually died, I'd want them to know that I tried my absolute best to come back home to them alive. We just got you back from the dead after 6 years. Don't want to lose you again now do we?"

Ami nodded reflectively. Minako pulled Ami into a quick hug.

"Come on, I got the stairs door open an hour ago. Let's get out of here."

* * *

Ami and Minako walked through the streets of Zurich together. At this time of night, it was a fairly quiet city. It was an easy task to sneak back onto the streets as regular civilian after climbing down from the belltower.

The more difficult issue was Ami. She wasn't crying anymore at least. Minako wasn't sure if that was actually a good thing or not.

"Hey Ami-chan, ready to head back to Tokyo? I think it's time we go home. Pandora is waiting us there."

Ami nodded after a moment of hesitation. She hadn't said a word since they left the belltower. That was 20 minutes ago. The silence was starting to bother Minako. She had to break it. It wasn't good for Ami to be left alone to stew for too long. Minako kept on talking.

"Why did it take you an hour to get here anyways?"

Ami blushed.

"...I got stuck in an alley behind the bank….there was a couple there….doing stuff"

Perfect! That was actually genuinely hilarious. Luck was a bunch of guys and dolls tonight. Or guy and guy, or girl and girl, or any combination thereof. Minako made it a point to never assume these things.

"Ooooo…so Ami... stayed for the whole show?"

Minako gesticulated suggestively. Ami managed to blush even harder.

"Shut up, It wasn't like that... They were blocking the only exit"

"OHMYGOD! Did you watch? Was it hot? Were they cute? Tellmetellme."

Minako's increasingly lewd pattering continued. She was off to the races. Eventually, Ami started to smile, then amazingly, she started to laugh. No one could resist the ridiculousness of Minako's banter for long.

Ami did feel better now. Her friend was trying to distract her form her melancholy. That was worth something. Besides... Minako was all but daring her to match and escalate the conversation. Ami rose to the bait.

"Hey Minako-chan?

"Hmm?"

"Do you ever get angry like that with Rei? It's kind of hot."

That's better. She knew there was a personality underneath the depression somewhere. Minako put on an over-dramatic scandalized look. Then she burst into laughter as well.

"Shut the fuck up. You owe me a drink. Think the hotel bar is still open? Have I got some stories for you..."

* * *

 _A.N._

 _So Act 2: A Journey of 6000 Miles comes to an end. Ami and Minako are headed back to Tokyo._

 _Irrelevant side note: Without going into specifics, there is enough background text in this story to set it roughly in the year 2002/2003 ish. That would make the bank building that Ami breaks out of an anachronism. The scene was designed around the real life Sunrise Tower in Zurich built in 2005. It is a 26 storey building that is roughly shaped like the letter I when seen from above (google it if you must)._

 _I imagined that Ami survives the 26 storey fall by pin balling back and forth between the two arms of the building until she gets close enough to the ground to jump. It sounds vaguely survivable if one is a Sailor Senshi. Don't try this at home._

 _Also, our second and last museum shout out of the story. The belltower Ami and Minako meet up in is very vaguely implied to be the the belfry of the Swiss Landesmuseum. It is a very cool museum and well worth a visit if one finds themselves in Zurich._

 _A.N.-_ _2016-05-09_

 _(apx 1 month post-publication date of this chapter)_

 _OMG! Sailor Moon Crystal Act 30! Did that just happen? Ami you badass... I freaking love you!_


	13. Blue Fuku, White Collar

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Interlude

 _Chapter 13: Blue Fuku, White Collar - wherein, amongst other things, Minako deals with the legal ramifications of having a white collar criminal on Team Senshi_

* * *

"No...yes. Hai. I understand. Got it. Not without your consent. Uh huh. I'll take care of it. Yes I take full responsibility. No. Yes. I can handle it. I'll tell Natsuna. Thanks again Katarina. Good morning to Allan too. Take care. Bye for now, I'll be in touch. Love you lots. Get well soon! Ja ne!"

Minako's side of a long distance phone call filtered through to Rei's ears. Dammit. The girl was using her phone. She'd picked up Minako at the airport last night when she and Ami came back from Zurich. Rei had wanted to discuss recent events right away, but Minako needed to be distracted pretty badly. She'd brought back a box of chocolate from Zurich that turned out to be plenty distracting. Whatever happened in Europe was clearly bothering her, so this time, Minako got her way. Business could wait just a little bit longer.

The night came and went. Eventually, both parties were able to catch up with each other. Rei shared her side of the story with the "Where" youma, and Minako gave her a summary of the fight with the "What" youma. They were clearly connected through whoever this "Pandora' person was.

In the morning, Minako drove Rei home to the temple and followed her in...apparently with the intention of making long international phone calls. Just when Rei was getting worried about her lack of sleep, Minako crashed and took a 10 hour nap. Rei was happy to see that Minako was getting some rest at least...until she woke up and went straight back for the phone.

Rei sighed. At least it could be classified as a tax deductible expense. Rei made a mental note to remember this day when the temple's phone bill came at the end of the month.

Minako was done now. She came back into the room and flopped onto Rei's bed with a dramatic huff.

"MMMMRRRRUUUGH"

Minako pulled Rei's pillow over her face and screamed into it.

"Stop that. You're drooling on my pillow and I just washed the sheets. What's going on Minako? I thought you liked Katarina."

Rei plucked the pillow off of Minako's face. Definite signs of drool.

"I do. Love Katarina. Katarina is a goddamn peach. It's Ami I'm screaming about. Fuck! That cocky, twisted, blue-haired-egg-headed-out-of-bloody-fucking-control-insane-loose cannon! AAAARUGH!"

Minako caught Rei's look of alarm and bolted straight up.

"Oh my god, she's not here right now is she?"

Her eyes spun around the room looking like she expected Ami to have magically teleported in during her rant. She didn't really mean any of the things she said just now. Sort of. At least not seriously. Ami might be a few screws short of a loose cannon, but she was also a dear friend. One who was probably going through hell right now.

"No baka. Calm down. She went out an hour ago to pick up Hotaru from school."

"Hotaru? Really? I didn't know they we close."

Minako pictured her unusually silent friend hanging out with the little Silence Senshi. The scintillating conversation those two must have.

"Yeah, I was as surprised as you were, but its a good sign. It's nice to see Ami connecting with someone."

"Hey! Isn't it Hotaru's re-birthday soon or something? Does she get a re-birthday? We should do something nice for her."

"Minako-chan..."

Rei's disapproving glare had only one meaning "get on with it". Minako thought it was amazing that Rei could still somehow look disapproving while simultaneously pulling her into a warm cuddle on the bed.

She sighed. Her beloved firebird was a stubborn fire-jackass when she had her mind set on something.

"Ok, ok. Fine. You win this round. Katarina called. Good news is that yay! There's no international warrant out for Ami's arrest. Bad news is that there probably should be. Katarina and Natsuna managed to deflect the heat off us for that Swiss bank caper that Ami pulled, which is a friggin miracle by the way. I had to burn just about every favour in my little black book, and who knows what Sets-chan had to promise to swing this deal. Anyways...Ami's legally in _my_ custody now. Well, Sailor V's custody, but whatever. Same thing. Fuuuuuck."

Melodramatic hand waving accompanied that revelation. Minako's bad habit of misdirection was in full force today. Rei saw through the bullshit and hugged Minako tighter, offering support.

"I can't do this. I can't even keep up anymore. Katarina said that somehow the paper trail and the evidence was all in place to make a strong case against the Blackstone Group. Which is great! Except that I thought Ami wiped that all out the other day at the bank. So I'm left with that she either somehow put it all back, or she faked everything she gave to Katarina and this is a solid frame job. Who the hell knows. I ordered her to leave it alone. Clearly, that didn't happen."

Either way, Minako didn't like the implications. Ami was out of control. Sailor Senshi fought for love and justice. They did not use their powers to on the human world. That was rule number 1 or something in the Senshi handbook. Minako made a mental to note write a Senshi handbook and then force Ami to read it. Make it part of her parole terms or something. Who the fuck knows.

"Grandpa said she was up on her computer all last night. I asked Ami about it this morning. She said she was just re-programming something though."

Rei's information wasn't the most reassuring thing in the world. Minako ignored her and continued.

"I love the girl. I really do, and I'm super happy that she finally seems to be dealing with everything that's happened. Thank god she's finally getting all emotional and letting it out. I swear I saw her laugh AND cry this week, so hooray for progress. Its just... I don't know. I've never thought of her as _dangerous_ before. She almost murdered a man in London, then she more or less robbed a highly secure bank. I don't know how to handle that. I'm not sure if I am doing the right thing anymore. She's one of us, but how do we trust her? If she gets out of control, who could stop her? Would you leave her alone in a room with Usagi right now?"

Rei hesitated for a moment, thinking back to the _other_ man that Ami almost killed last week. He should be getting out of the hospital any day now. She had her answer.

"Minako... Did I tell you that Ami asked me to kill her once? She begged me to do it in case she ever went too far. I promised her I would. If you can't trust her right now, then trust me. I know you think we are all your responsibility, but this time, I need you to let me handle this. Ami needs you more as a friend than a general right now. I think she needs you to trust her more than she'd care to admit. It would crush her if you didn't. You mentioned that you made her laugh this week? That's more valuable than anything else right now. Don't worry. Ami's got me watching her back. You can share your duty with me Minako."

Share her duty. Rei was right. She didn't have to do this alone. She had Rei now, and the others too. Ami would be ok - eventually. She loved it when Rei was right, which according to Rei herself, was pretty much always.

"To answer your question Mina-love. Usagi trusts Ami. I'd go with her instinct in this case. She's the one that's saved the world countless times with just _love._ I think that's what we need right now. Ami's dealing. She'll talk to us when she's ready, and we'll be there. We have to believe in her."

Minako smiled slowly, getting the idea.

"Yeah. Hope for the best. That's how we roll isn't it?"

Minako laughed out loud thinking back on the crazy events of their trip to Europe.

"We'll deal with the legal crap when things are settled. I wasn't lying to Natsuna when I said that there's something out there though. Hate to play the Sailor V card, but she's given me enough leeway to deal with this as I deem necessary. Some nut named Pandora is in Tokyo somewhere, and shit's about to go down. We need everyone on point for this. Ami-no-baka... don't tell her I said this, but yeah. The window jumping thing? Totally badass. The girl's got style. I just hope that she's still in one piece by the time she done working her issues out...now where did Ami go again? I got to read her her rights or something. What size of ankle monitor do you think she is?"

The irony of Sailor Jupiter calling them to battle at that exact moment not appreciated by Minako until much, much later.

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Rei and Minako. You two deserve a break. Let someone else handle Ami for a little while ;)._

 _To be fair, I think Ami's technically a bit further along than "white collar criminal" at this point, but eh, at least she didn't kill anyone right?_

 _Onto Chapter 14!_  
 _Act 3: Coming Home will begin shortly._

 _Thank you for reading! As I often say, reviews are greatly appreciated. I'm around if there are any questions or comments._

 _Cheers dear readers,_

 _\- Drifter._


	14. Happy Hour

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Act 3: Coming Home

 _Chapter 14: Happy Hour - Because it's 3 o'clock somewhere..._

* * *

Ami paced up and down the sidewalk, killing time.

She was hoping to catch Hotaru on her way home after school. It seemed right to let the little girl know that she was back in town. Ami felt guilty for leaving without saying goodbye in the first place, but she hadn't known how long she'd be gone, or if she was even coming back. Ami hated goodbyes. They always sounded so final to her.

Still, Hotaru deserved better from her. Hell, everyone deserved better from her.

Ami sighed. It was an unusually warm spring day. Too hot even. All this waiting around was making her thirsty.

Oh. There was a bar right here. Strange that it was open this time of day.

That was good.

Ami checked her watch. 3pm. That was good too. At least a half hour before Hotaru would let out of class.

Wait. Shimatta. Her watch stopped. Now she'd have to go into the bar to ask the time. Lucky that it was open already.

Ami pushed open the door and walked inside the dimly lit bar.

* * *

Makoto was _pissed._ Small time Yakuza type walked into her bakery this morning and tried to demand protection money. She'd managed to scare them off. Being an amazon with a black belt had its advantages. Having a framed photograph of her and all her friends behind the counter probably helped too - especially with a uniformed Officer Aino hogging the front and centre of the image.

Strange. Organized crime wasn't usually so bold in this part of town. Makoto wondered if there was some internal cause of conflict. She made a mental note to call Minako tomorrow when she was off the "do not disturb" list. As soon as she and Ami landed in Tokyo, Minako made it clear she was 100% not to be contacted for anything less than an apocalypse. Funny how Rei was coincidentally unavailable as well.

Makoto rolled her eyes...real subtle those two.

Yakuza activity hardly counted as apocalyptic, so Mako let it slide for now. Minako and Rei needed their alone time.

In the meantime however, she could ask around and see what was happening. Mako headed to her local dive bar. The bartender there, Corff, was an old "friend" of hers from her "dark period". She used the term "friend" loosely. The son of a bitch was a total bastard, but he did usually have his ear to the ground and was always willing to talk to someone with her particular...talents.

Makoto shoved past the sticky door of the shitty bar, ready to get/beat some answers from the barkeep. Except for a single depressed looking burnout slouched at the bar, the place was empty.

Wait. This was totally out of character, but she would recognize that blue hair anywhere.

"...the hell? Ami-chan? How many have you had?"

"Makoto? Why are you here?"

Ami's tone was somewhere between confused and accusatory.

"Just looking for info about why the local yakuza decided to step up their extortion game. Hell of a coincidence you're here too? Are you ok?"

Ami collapsed in on herself a bit.

"Kami-sama. I'm an idiot. I'm sorry."

Makoto called for her original target, Corff the bartender, to bring her a soda. Looks like Ami could use some company.

"Not drinking? I'll buy. I owe you one at least. Auch Die Freude hat ihre Zeit!"

Ami sloshed her beer at Makoto's general direction and took a giant gulp.

"Three years sober baby. Working on four"

"Oh... I didn't know.""

"You couldn't have."

Ami downed half her beer before she put the glass back down. She rolled her sleeve up to show Mako the scarred mess that was her left arm.

"What the hell's happened to us? This is fucked up. Doesn't even feel real anymore."

Mako had seen the scars before, several weeks ago when Ami was in the hospital, but it still looked wrong to her. Mako's protective nature flared up when she noticed that there were some stitches on Ami's arm that weren't there last time around. Ami must have gotten hurt either in Europe, or when Rei's temple was attacked. Mako tried and failed to keep the look of horror off her face.

It was wasted effort either way. Ami wasn't paying attention. She was drunk and busy repeating her last sentence back at herself.

"Doesn't...even...feel...real...anymore."

Ami pulled at her stitches with every word. Makoto took her hand and held it to stop her.

"Is that why you're here getting hammered at 3 in the afternoon?"

"Sure. Why not? You know, I just to got out all night in Berlin, picking fights and looking for trouble. I even hacked the local police network so that I could find more people to beat on. At least then I could pretend that they deserved it. I know that's horrible, but I needed to vent. I wanted to hurt people, or get hurt. Either way, just something... I liked hurting people for once I guess. It felt honest and I was tired of lying. Is it weird that I miss that?"

"No, I get it. I've been there. After my parents died. I got into fights all the time. The day I met Usagi, I was really just waiting around for some guys to start trouble so I'd have and excuse to fight them. I'm lucky that I didn't manage to ruin my life back then."

"Instead you became a Sailor Senshi."

Mako looked at Ami sharply. That was revealing.

"Is that what being a Senshi is about to you? Just fighting?"

"Fighting, killing, occasionally dying. Yeah, that's pretty much it. I'm good at that at least."

"We protect people, we've saved the world how many times now?"

"No. Mako. You protect people, you and the others. That's something to be proud of. Me? I look for weaknesses. I exploit them. That's what I do. It's who I am. I point the a youma. 'Hit it in the back! _'_ _P_ _oof_! It dies. I scan the map. 'Hey! Its in the north pole!'. _Bam._ We die. Why do you think Metaria chose me as a host? We were already so alike to begin with. We hurt people, we use others to do our dirty work for us, and we use people's weaknesses against them. I carried Metaria's essence in my mind for 6 years and didn't even notice. It was just business as usual. What does that say about me? "

"Do you feel Metaria inside you right now?"

"Who knows? Maybe? Even when I knew she was there, it didn't feel all that different. She didn't tell me anything that I wasn't already thinking."

"You talk to her? When?"

Mako was getting worried. That can't be natural.

"It feels like always. Metaria...The voice inside me that tells me how people hurt. How to cause or prevent that. Two sides of one coin. The part of me that is always restless. I want more. More knowledge, more control – being a Senshi, or even being a doctor...to control life and death. I can't deny the thrill. I try to push it back, but the drive is always there. In that sense, I understand Metaria. I really do. It's about power...So where did Ami end and Metaria begin you ask? I don't think there is as great a distinction as you'd like to believe."

Ami was slurring her words again, but at least she was talking now. Lecturing really. This was about 6 years overdue. Makoto hoped she wasn't taking advantage of the situation - better out than in after all. As far as Mako was concerned, it was a good thing that Ami continued to speak without being promted.

"...Queen Metaria chose me, The Death Busters wanted me to join them. Hell, even a random Droid almost got me to attack you guys once. I'm the common denominator here. There's something wrong with me. We talked that night under Mugen. Queen Metaria and I that is. Arrogant bitch looked just like me."

"How much do you remember from that night? You've never talked about it. Gods...I don't know why I assumed you didn't remember..."

"Everything. I remember everything. I remember trying to take Usagi's head off. I would have succeeded if it weren't for Saturn appearing out of nowhere. I remember being furious about that. I remember being hit by the Silence Glaive. There is something about it, even just the handle, that is beyond human experience. I can't explain. It's death. It's entropy. It is the end of all you know. Whenever I see Hotaru now, I think about the _weight_ of that horror in her hands...and that she picked it up willingly because of my actions. It's unbearable. She's a KID for goodness's sake! I took that away from her!"

Mako tried to calm Ami down in vain. Ami started shake she re-lived the night that she was possessed by Queen Metaria.

"It's ok. It's ok Ami.. Look at me. It's over. It's going to be ok."

"Look at you? Look at you Mako? Looking at you, I remember holding my sword. I remember wondering if I should gut you to watch you die slowly, or if the poetry of stabbing you in the heart was just too good to pass up. That's what I remember. I can't stop. It doesn't end. It never ends."

"Yes it will Ami. It ends. I promise it will. You can beat this. Look at me. You didn't kill me. I'm right here. What happened next?"

Mako could see Ami's eyes slowly come back into focus as she considered the simple question. What happened next? Ami answered after a long pause.

"The Silver Crystal. I remember the light of the Silver Crystal. Did you know that it burns? The light. It's so pure. You're swallowed up by it. The whole world is gone, nothing but light. There's light under your skin, and behind your eyes and in your blood...gods, I can't describe it, but it _hurt._ Did I scream? It was beautiful too _._ Like falling into a star. Then it gets...warm somehow? Surrounded by warmth. It felt real. I don't remember much after that."

"You were dead for a few minutes according to Mamoru. We thought we'd lost you."

"I wish. You might have been better off. Maybe you should just kill me right and get it over with."

"That's not funny. Don't even joke about that."

A sardonic laugh followed that statement.

"Usagi would never allow it besides. She loves you. We all do"

"...you're right Mako. Love. I know that's true...I felt it when I woke up in the hospital, and how you are all trying to help me even though I'm a damn train wreck right now. I've been avoiding Usagi these days. Maybe I should go apologize. Thank you Mako. Gomen ne. Sorry for the rant. Consider it a moment of weakness. You shouldn't have had to deal with that. Don't worry about Metaria taking over again. She is me but I am not her."

"We're friends Ami. It's not Metaria I'm worried about, it's _you._ You're hurting and drunk off your ass at 3pm in a shitty dive bar. Of course I'm going to worry."

"That's not fair. You shouldn't. I'm not being fair to you. I can't talk about it right now, but I know things aren't ok between us. I'm so sorry. I know I hurt you too. How do you not hate me?"

Ami finished her beer before Makoto think of an appropriate response to that loaded question.

* * *

There were so many things left unsaid. Ami remembered a night from just before her mother's death. A night she spent with Makoto. She took Mako's heart and left her behind. 6 years was not enough time to forgive that betrayal too, but Mako was being so _understanding_ right now. So unbelievably understanding.

Ami buried her face in her hands. She couldn't even look at Makoto right now. The love in her eyes was too much. Too undeserved. Wasted. Her emotions were spiraling downwards quickly, and Ami was too drunk to control the descent.

Makoto answered before she fell too far into her own mind.

"Yes, I was hurt when you left, but I can't hate you Ami-chan. Life happens. Life isn't fair and things got out of control. Honestly, I don't get IT… but I think eventually, I just figured that I didn't need to."

Years of familiarity came flooding back. Being depressed and hearing Makoto's comforting voice. Just like old times...

" _It?_ Mako-chan... What do you mean?"

"Oh you know, the meaning of life, why bad things happen to good people…et cetera. It's all ridiculous."

Makoto dismissed all the great questions of philosophy with a wave of her hand.

"The more I thought about it, the less relevant it seemed. I'm not sure that knowing would change how I live at all. I mean, either way, this is the life I have, so I am just going to live the crap out of it. It's a fight sometimes, but I think the most important thing was the fight itself. To have a good life - the best life that I could. I remember when my parents died. I thought my life was over, that I couldn't go on. I was forced to move to Juuban, and guess what? I met all you. I kept living. Didn't see that coming."

"You make that sound so simple Mako... Life's more complicated than that."

"Probably, but it can be simple too. I know this doesn't sound that helpful right now, but keep struggling. Be proud that you are still standing here today after everything that's happened to you, and that you are still fighting to get your life back together. Don't give up. Someone told me this quote once: _There is no path that lets me live my life other than this path. Therefore, I walk this path._ That always stuck with me. To me, that means that the life that you have already lived is in the path behind you. Your future lies ahead. Whatever steps you choose to take next, becomes your new path. As long as you are honest to yourself about your path, you will never be lost. The only time you are truly lost is when you give up and stop walking."

Ami struggled to remember something she'd said a long time ago, to someone else who'd given up on their life.

"...A future is something you have to make for yourself. You have to believe in yourself to make it."

"Yeah, you got it Ami. Who told you that?"

"I did, once. Long ago."

 _plonk_

Their conversation was interrupted. The bartender brought over Makoto's soda and proceeded to wipe the bar nearby. Makoto looked up, her eyes followed the bartender suspiciously.

"Ami-chan. How long have you been here?"

"Dunno? About 2 hours?"

Ami was having a hard time counting the hours. She'd been here for about 4 hours...ish? How long ago was that? She looked at her watch. 3:05. Wait...wasn't it stopped earlier? Wasn't that why she'd come in here in the first place? When did she get so drunk? Why ddi she start drinking at all? The ticking of the second hand was giving her vertigo.

Makoto leaned in close and whispered in her ear.

"I need you to get up, and walk slowly out the door. Act casual."

That was strange. Mako sounded...scared? Ami tried to sober up, but everything was just a little too fuzzy around the edges now.

Something wasn't right. Ami couldn't put her finger on it. She reflexively pulled out her computer and prepared to scan the room.

No. Yes. Something was very wrong. Ami couldn't concentrate on the screen. She was having trouble staying conscious. Ami started to panic. Last time she'd blacked out like this, Metaria had taken over.

This couldn't be happening again. Could it?

She shoved the Mercury Computer at Makoto. She'd planned for this. It's new emergency mode should kick in – the Senshi could still have the Computer even if she herself was gone. Especially if she was gone.

Ami concentrated harder, trying to work out what was happening. If she could think, then she could remain Ami. Her name was Mizuno Ami. Her birthday was September 10th. She was a Virgo. Her blood type was A...

She was still trying to fight up to the second she slid off the barstool and hit the floor unconscious.

* * *

 _A.N.  
_

 _Auch Die Freude hat ihre Zeit - mostly translates to: "Even the joy/friend has its time", a phrase found on German beer steins. Once again, Ami is all in with the dark irony. Traditionally followed by the phrase "Schoene Weiber sind gute Zeitvertreiber" - "and beautiful women to help pass it"...so yeah, make of that what you will.  
_  
 _Welcome to the story Mako-chan! For those interested in more context for what Ami's angst-ing about regarding "that night with Mako", the story is told in my other fanfic: "Ami and Makoto- A Dark and Stormy Night" and its companion piece:"Ripple Effects on a Nanoscale".  
The other events she is remembering can be found in this story's prequel "In the Darkness, She Found Herself: Ami's Story"...specifically ch 8: Endgame. _

_Apologies for the length of the chapter. Ami talks alot once she gets in the mood._

 _Sidenote: For anyone interested in philosophy, I cribbed many of the key concepts of Mako's philosophy (absurdism 101) from Albert Camus "The Myth of Sisyphus" and blended it with some quotes from the anime episode 105 "I Want Power! Mako lost in Doubt" and some of what Ami said to Urawa in season 1 episode 41 "I Won't Run Away from Love Anymore! Ami vs Mamoru"_

 _Cheers, dear readers!_ _We are entering the home stretch of this story now._

 _Up next - Chapter 15: Who and How to Fight_


	15. Who and How to Fight

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Act 3: Coming Home

 _Chapter 15: Who and How to Fight - wherein Makoto sees a familiar face and is forced to try a different way of fighting_

* * *

"Ami!"

Makoto tried to catch Ami before she hit the ground, but she just wasn't fast enough. Ami landed with a loud _thunk_ and didn't get back up. She was passed out.

Dammit. Makoto cursed herself for not being faster. They would be lucky if Ami didn't hurt herself after a fall like that. There was no time to check however. They were still in danger.

Makoto stood over Ami protectively as the bartender-who-was-not-the-bartender began to speak at last.

"Who...whoo...who are you...who could see who I am not."

"I know every bartender in this neighbourhood. Corff's a son of a bitch, but he's a left handed son of a bitch. His right hand barely functions with his arthritis. What did you do with him?"

"whoooo...whooo dares to ask?"

Corff's form melted into an even more hideous shape. 7 ft tall, antenna centred on its head. It looked almost identical to the youma she, Rei and Usagi had tracked down after the attack on the temple.

"Jupiter Crystal Power! Make Up!"

Jupiter let her electricity fill the room, careful to avoid hurting the unconscious Ami at her feet.

"Agent of Love and Courage! The pretty sailor suited Senshi...Sailor Jupiter!"

The youma looked at her intensely, then its form rippled again. It got shorter. A mop of bushy hair appeared, followed by soft brown eyes. The youma got kind of cute actually...it looked just like...SEMPAI!?

Oh, this was fan-fucking-tastic. She had been looking for an excuse to beat the _shit_ out of this guy for years. A youma in his form? Even better.

Jupiter was going to open a can of whoopass like it was Christmas morning.

She ran at the youma, opening the fight with a fast left jab. It dodged quickly. She followed with a right cross in a classic one-two combo. The move so second nature that she could do it in her sleep. This time, something was different though. Her balance was off?

She felt a beer can crunch under her left foot just before it slid out from under her.

Shimatta!

Jupiter overshot the youma. It caught her with a punch to the shoulder, knocking her flat on her face. She rolled away instinctively from the inevitable follow up attack.

Smack into a bar stool wedged against a table.

Jupiter knocked the wind out of herself rolling into damn thing. What the hell was that doing there?

The youma was hooting with laughter now. She'd get it. With a fierce battle cry, she launched herself at the enemy. Jupiter used her own body to distract the youma from the bolo punch she was preparing to throw at its gut.

At least that was the plan. Reality was her tripping over her own bootlaces. Was that even possible? They were magical fucking ankle boots! Something was very wrong here.

Jupiter got up slowly. Carefully settling into a forward stance. No more brawling. She focused on her breathing to center herself. What was going on?

The youma was still laughing. Was it trying to piss her off? Why the hell did it look like sempai?

Jupiter cursed at herself again for getting distracted.

Ami.

They must be after Ami. The girl she just left alone and defenceless at the bar to beat on this piece of shit youma.

She glanced back at the bar.

Shit. Just as she suspected. Ami was gone. She heard two sets of footsteps scurrying out the back door.

Jupiter was turning to follow when the sempai-youma threw itself at her with a howl.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Jupiter was forced to fight the damn thing. This time however, her blows landed, and nothing stupid happened. She ducked under the sempai-youma's outstretched arm neatly and grabbed it behind the knee. Like a fireman, she lifted it over her head and wheeled it hard over her shoulder. The youma went flying across the bar. It landed heavily against the wall and was slow to get up.

Good. The fight was almost over. Jupiter prepared to launch a finishing 'Oak Evolution'. She had to go save Ami.

The sempai-youma shimmered again. Another familiar face replaced it. Jupiter's eyes widened. She'd never expected to see him again.

Papa.

* * *

The youma smiled reassuringly, trying to pacify the furious Sailor Jupiter. It inched towards the exit.

It was her Papa's smile. That crossed a line. Jupiter summoned her power in a blind fury.

"SPARKLING WIDE PRESSURE!"

Jupiter formed the ball of thunder in her hand, and dove at the youma. She held it as she smashed her fist into the youma's lying face. Over and over again, she punched until it was a fine red mist - until the youma disintegrated and she was pounding her fists on the ground.

Jupiter fell to her knees, crying her heart out. She'd dreamed of seeing her parents again, but not like this. She didn't want her last memory of Papa to be the way his face had collapsed as she punched him over and over.

She had so many other happy memories of him, going ice skating together, buying flowers for Mama, his over enthusiastic praise of her first terrible cookies. She didn't want to associate him with the battle rage that just came over her. This was too unfair. This couldn't be the last smile she saw Papa's smile.

She curled up on the dirty floor, trying to collect herself. Absently, she noted that the real bartender was tied up under the pool table. Seeing that face reminded her of the youma again. Jupiter felt another course of tears welling up at that.

Gods, she needed a drink. The bar loomed over her invitingly.

A blinking green light caught her eye. Jupiter reached out to it instead.

The Mercury Computer.

* * *

Jupiter crawled over to the blue computer. Her planetary sigil was flashing on the screen – a little green icon.

Ami had practically thrown it at her when trouble started. She must have meant for Jupiter to have it. This was going to help somehow.

She touched the symbol on the screen, not really knowing what else to do.

Jupiter yelped in surprise when her world turned green. A pair of goggles formed over the face. The sheer amount of _information_ distracted her from her thoughts. Even with the emotional storm she was going through, this was a surreal experience.

It was reality plus. Everywhere she looked, new information would appear and disappear. How the hell did Ami deal with this without going crazy?

The ambient temperature was 21 degrees -the bartender's current heart rate was 52 BPM - the local time was 15:30 - there were two entry points to this building - the broken beer glass on the floor flashed with a string of incomprehensible words- 6,6,9-Trimethyl-3-(3-methyl-2-octanyl)-7,8,9,10-tetrahydro-6H-benzo[c]chromen-1-ol /1-azabicyclo[2.2.2]oct-3-yl 2-hydroxy-2,2-diphenylacetate / [5-ethyl-4,6-dioxo-5-(pentan-2-yl)-1,4,5,6-tetrahydropyrimidin-2-yl]sulfanide sodium / (2S)-5,7-dihydroxy-2-(4-hydroxyphenyl)-8-(3-methylbut-2-enyl)-2,3-dihydrochromen-4-one...

Jupiter's eyes almost crossed. Nothing was making sense. Something was beeping and she couldn't figure out what. Everywhere she looked, something new would pop up. She was getting dizzy from the sensory overload.

She wanted to scream in frustration. She need to save Ami, not get an advanced degree in chemistry.

 _STOP._

The goggles went blank. Back to regular calm green reality.

She had to find Ami. Jupiter focused on that thought again. The goggles responded. A map of Tokyo popped up in a side window and quickly zeroed in on a blinking blue light in the Marunochi district. That must be Ami. She was close, 3.42 km north east, 47.12m above ground level and rising. Huh? Oh wait -it was obvious. An office building in the financial district.

She had the exact address now. A brand new skyscraper, she'd seen it in the news. Time to contact the others.

The goggles reacted to that thought. Another screen popped up and split into 3. The senshi appeared one by one as they answered their communicators. Minako, Rei, Usagi. All looked worried. This channel was for emergencies only.

She could explain more on the way. The important thing was that they get moving ASAP.

"Everyone, transform. Meet me at this address. Ami's been kidnapped by youma."

Jupiter took off running, she knew that wherever they were, her fellow Senshi were doing the exact same.

* * *

It was strange, seeing the world fly past through green tinted goggles, but Jupiter was not going to turn them off for anything at this point. Somehow, the goggles were in contact with Mercury. A new window came up unprompted at the bottom of the screen several minutes ago. Jupiter could now see and hear everything from Mercury's perspective.

She almost wished she couldn't. Mercury wasn't alone. There was a woman holding her captive. Mercury had called her Pandora. The woman replied with a polite "Mizuno Ami".

Shit. This was going to end in only one of two ways.

The connection gave her a readout of Mercury's vital data for some reason. Her current heart rate was 127 BPM and steadily decreasing. Jupiter ignored all that irrelevant information. She was just happy that Mercury was still alive.

The sooner they got to the Marunochi building, the sooner they could rescue her.

She focused on one message, hoping that Mercury would somehow see it through their connection.

 _Coming to you. Stay alive._

* * *

Sailor Mars was out the window and running as soon as she had the destination. Sailor Venus was right by her side.

Mercury was captured. Their friend was in trouble.

May the spirits curse her to hell if she let anything happen to one of her people.

They arrived at the building now. Jupiter was already here, looking up with a strange-yet-framiliar set of goggles on her face. She was tapping on a mini-computer. Jupiter using Mercury's equipment in her stead...the sight was disconcerting. No one could replace Ami. Mars tried hard not to think of the implications of that thought.

Mars looked at her for an explanation.

"Mercury and Pandora are on the 37th floor. The building is empty otherwise...I think?"

That didn't answer anything, but there was no time for further explanations. Sailor Moon arrived. They were all assembled.

It was time to save their friend. The 4 senshi ran into the building. Nothing was going to stop them from reaching the 37th floor.

The lobby seemed empty at first. The only thing out of place was a variety of tools and cleaning equipment left lying around. Even that wasn't too unusual, given how the building was still technically under construction.

When Sailor Moon tripped over a mop handle, that wasn't noteworthy either. It wasn't until Venus fell ass over end because of a loose tile that they stopped. Jupiter had tried to shout a warning just before that happened.

"What is it Jupiter?"

Venus sounded hurt and pissed off about it. That slip on the tile took her down hard onto the edge of a metal bench. Mars winced. That looked painful.

"The goggles. They flashed a warning right when you fell. Something's not right here."

Giggles broke out from somewhere down the hall. The senshi looked around. It wasn't any of them.

"How? How? How did you know?"

A youma stepped out from the shadows. Tall and muscular. A thin antenna grew out the centre of its head. The eye that was attached to it blinked at the senshi.

"How will you diiiiieeee?"

The enemy had revealed itself. It was time to fight.

"MARS FLAME SNIPER!"

"VENUS LOVE AND BEAUTY SHOCK!"

The two attacks, which have always flown together in perfect synergy in every battle past, collided and cancelled each other out. Mars and Venus were blown back in the ensuing explosion. The youma kept right on giggling. Mars was getting angry. She got up for another attack.

"Wait! Wait!"

Jupiter telling her to wait before attacking? Apparently today was opposite day.

"I need to see a Fire Soul, make it weak, but aim straight at the youma."

Venus looked as confused as she felt. Then, the light fixture above her head fell and would have knocked her unconscious if she weren't super-humanly fast. There was no time to ask questions.

"Fire Soul!"

She aimed her attack perfectly. It was on track to hit the youma dead between the eyes when a gush of water suddenly poured out of the ceiling and extinguished it. That was a completely preposterous. She hoped Jupiter got whatever she wanted from that little experiment.

Jupiter read the results of whatever she was scanning out loud for everyone to process.

"According to this thing, there was only a tiny chance of that ever happening! Then it jumped up to 100%? What the hell dos that mean?"

Venus answered Jupiter's question while dodging some more falling ceiling tiles.

"Dammit! I think the youma is playing the odds! Anything that could happen, CAN happen! Fuck!"

A causality warping youma? How were they going to fight that?

Jupiter seemed to be working on something. She was so busy reading the text on the computer screen that she was almost hit by a metal beam that fell out of the ruined ceiling. Sailor Moon saw and pushed her out of the way just in time. This fight was going to be brutal. At this rate, the entire building might collapse. Mercury needed them upstairs. There was no time to deal with this.

Jupiter was done reading now. She had a plan. Mars was eager to get this battle over with.

"Mars, you're the most accurate shot of all of us. The eye on the antenna, can you hit that?"

Mars nodded. The damn thing even looked like a target. She prepared to fire.

"No, wait, on my mark. I see that there is a split second after it warps reality that it's powerless. Don't shoot til you see lighting."

Mars nodded. Jupiter called out to Sailor Moon and Venus.

"Everyone! Now! Hit it with your fast!"

Golden light shot from the twin senshi as the Love Me Chain and Moon Tiara whipped towards the youma. It wasn't a surprise this time when the love me chain got entangled in the tiara and the whole attack fell apart.

Mars saw Jupiter hesitate for a split second before she yelled out.

"SPARKLING WIDE PRESSURE!"

"MARS FLAME SNIPER!"

Jupiter shot her attack as a blinding flash, not even aiming for the youma, but her fire arrow flew straight and true.

Straight into the eye on the youma's antenna.

"HOOOOOOOWWWWWW?"

The youma burned until it disintegrated.

The senshi ran past without a backwards glance. They had a friend to rescue 37 floors above.

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Poor Mako. I think that was probably the saddest thing I've done to a character :(._

 _Anyways...a double youma take down chapter. Things are serious now. For anyone keeping a scorecard, Youmas Who, What, Where, Why and How are eliminated. I bet we can all figure out the name of the last one now..._

 _Speaking of names, Corff the Bartender is borrowed from my other big fandom: Dragon Age II. Not sure what a venn diagram of Sailor Moon fans and Dragon Age II fans would look like, but you know, there it is if anyone had noticed._

 _Flavour notes: This one is a doozy. Bear with me. The Mercury Computer is trying to alert Jupiter to the chemicals on the broken beer glass for a reason. That it gives the information in IUPAC nomenclature probably isn't that useful to Mako at least. Since I just realized that there is no way to highlight and google directly from FFnet, I will note that the chemicals are Dimethylheptylpyran, 3-Quinuclidinyl benzilate, sodium thiopental, and 8-Prenylnaringenin. The first three are horribly bad news, and absolutely do not try them at home, assuming you have access to some highly restricted substances for whatever reason..._

 _The last one (8-Pn) however, you can try at home (assuming you are over the legal drinking age wherever you live). It is a chemical found in hoppy beers and probably got flagged by the Computer as a mistake due to its estrogenic effects. The trivia here is that apparently, this Ami prefers bitter hoppy beers, probably an IPA or a German Pils...given her German salutation to Mako in the last chapter and her in-story history in Berlin, it was probably ahe pilsner. That was just really a long way to go to for a bit of flavour triva, but there you have it._

 _Cheers dear readers._

 _Up next:_

 _Chapter 16: Desperate Times - wherein Ami's hand is forced into action_


	16. Desperate Times

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Act 3: Coming Home

 _Chapter 16: Desperate Times - wherein hero and villain meet at last and desperate times force Ami's hand._

* * *

Ami woke up with a painful coughing spasm. Her heart fluttered erratically in her chest. Coughing, Heart palpitations, dry mouth, the familiar stabbing pain of a cluster headache behind her eyes... Fuck.

She knew this. The symptoms all fit. She'd been drugged.

Ami shivered. This was bad. She was sitting, presumably in a chair. She tried to stand, but couldn't. Her arms were cuffed to the chair...and the chair was bolted to the ground.

She was trapped.

What the hell? Where was she? Ami looked around, gathering what information she could. She was in an office. Desk, chair, lamp filing cabinets, a goddamn spider plant even _..._ the whole nine yards. A faint scent lingered in the stale recycled air. Her lips curled in disgust. Ami knew it as cadaver smell - another bitter reminder of her wasted days in medical school.

Aside from the smell, The room was completely soulless. It was a laughably bland office, given the circumstances. Ami turned her focus inward, still looking for an explanation.

She was still feeling the effects of whatever drugs she had taken. There was no way of knowing how long she had been unconscious for. How did she get here? Someone must have taken her. Her last clear memory was of waiting for Hotaru after school. Everything after that had a fuzzy quality to it. Something about a bar? She was drinking...and Makoto. Mako was there too.

Mako! Was she ok? Something must have happened. Mako would never have allowed this without a fight. Ami called out, unsure if she wanted an answer or not.

"Mako-chan? Are you here?"

A light, lyrical voice answered her with a laugh. The chair across the desk swiveled around slowly.

"Oh? Is that what her name was? I just gave my youma orders to find some way of making you talk. I suppose they found a little friend of yours or something? Oh well, irrelevant. What I needed to know if you still carried Metaria inside you. Too bad you didn't have the answer either. It's a shame the youma weren't able to complete their assignment fully. Now we have to do this the messy way."

A woman was seated here, a slight frown of distaste on her otherwise beautiful face.

Ami's eyes narrowed in thought. The woman across the desk. Who was she? She was familiar. Ami had seen her before...on posters...years ago. She was supposed to be dead. Minako said so.

Never mind that. Seeing was believing. Death wasn't all it was cracked up to be anyways.

"Pandora, I presume?"

The fallen idol Pandora. The last of the Dark Kingdom. Just the person she'd wanted to meet.

"Lady Pandora. Call me Lady Pandora. I _insist_ on proper titles here, Mizuno-san. I have so very much been wanting to meet you. Would you prefer to be addressed as Sailor Mercury?"

Ami let her power ripple around her. No point in maintaining false faces now. Only one of them was leaving this room alive - or neither. Adrenaline burned past the last of the drugs in her veins in anticipation.

Mercury pulled at the cuffs again. Dammit. They were still unyielding. One on each arm, locking her to the arms of the chair and all of it solid metal construction. Sailor Jupiter or Venus might have been able to pull free, but Mercury doubted she could. Senshi super-strength or not, there were limits to the human body.

As usual, brute force was not the answer. Mercury forced herself to calm down. Breathe. Decrease heart rate. Concentrate. Think.

The soothing cool rush of the Mercury visor slid across her face in search of alternate solutions.

Off the bat, the visor saw past the illusion of Pandora's beauty. In it's place was a skeletal visage of misshapen muscle and skin that didn't quite cover everything. The deathly smell that lingered in the room now had a focus. The change was startling. Mercury knew she was staring openly at Pandora now.

Good. That seemed to piss off the bitch to no end.

Then her trusty visor gave her the best news she'd received all night. Jupiter was safe!

If the situation weren't so tense, Mercury would have laughed with relief. Mako was alright! She found the computer Ami left for her and activated it's emergency mode. The Senshi now had and audio-visual link to her visor.

A new message blinked at the bottom of her field of vision. "COMING TO YOU. STAY ALIVE".

* * *

Mercury stared at the words. That changed the situation considerably. Pandora had asked her a question. Now she was obligated to answer.

"Lady Pandora...please refer to me as Ami. Mizuno-san is much too formal between the two of us. I plan to see your end and since I don't expect I'll need to be Sailor Mercury to accomplish that... Ami will do. If that's not intimacy, I don't know what is. Judging from your presence, I sense this is personal to you too?"

The false politeness from Pandora was meant as a taunt. Mercury served it right back with a smile. If Pandora wanted to play mind games, she would happily oblige. Words were the only weapon she had right now.

"Bold words, Ami-san, for someone who is currently not in a position to be making them right now."

That much was true.

"You know I am Sailor Mercury. You know that I mean to kill you. If you had any sense of self preservation, I'd be dead already...so by that logic. You need me alive. Why?"

"Our beautiful Queen. She lives in you. You will bring her back."

Beautiful Queen? Metaria? The pieces were falling into place, the big picture was...unexpected. Ami needed to know more.

"Wait. Queen? You mean Metaria? Why the hell would I help you bring her back?"

"I never said it would be by choice."

Pandora opened a drawer at her side and drew out a darkly glowing orb.

"Do you recognize this Ami?"

She got her answer in Mercury's silence. Pandora continued, clearly enjoying the power she held over the captive senshi.

"No? I didn't expect you to. You failed and died long before you ever made it to Beryl's throne room didn't you?"

Beryl? What did she have to do with anything? That was so long ago. Mercury hadn't even been sure that timeline was still existent. Her visor automatically scanned the orb and confirmed what it was.

Mercury's heart twinged at the physical proof of what Sailor Moon had gone through to bring her back from the dead. What was she doing with that second chance?

"This orb acts as an Energy Conduit. Isn't it simply marvelous? I will take Metaria-sama's essence from your undeserving shell and she will be reborn. Only I could have found and reconstructed the device from the far ends of the Earth. All this I was willing to do for our Dark Queen!"

She sounded like a proud salesman giving a demonstration of the latest gadgets.

"Is that what you needed all that money for?"

"Oh, this and more. Much more. Research and development is an expensive process after all. Youma are no exception. Plus it took me _years_ to find you again. What on earth were you doing in Germany anyways? Ah, no matter. I found you, and this little orb here reawakened the seed of my Queen inside you. That is all that is important. "

Mercury laughed out loud. The irony. All the effort spent fighting minions and chasing the money trail of the Dark Kingdom was a total waste. Pandora was going back to the beginning and handing her all the answers on a silver platter. She should have simply gave up and gone to get hammered at that bar to begin with. Life _was_ absurd.

Great. Maybe laughing at a psychopath was a bad idea. Pandora looked livid now. She stood up and walked deliberately around the table.

Pandora stood a moment behind Mercury and then slowly dug an unnaturally sharp fingernail into her cheek. She clawed slow and deep. Down to the bone. Mercury ground back a pained moan. Blood welled up and trailed down her face.

At least Pandora wasn't going for the throat yet.

Pandora held the orb up to cut to catch the blood. The orb accepted the crimson with a weak pulse. Mercury felt a chill settle deep in her bones as the orb began to drain her energy with every heartbeat.

So that's why she was still alive. She was an offering.

"All this to revive Metaria? Pandora, what the hell is wrong with you?"

Pandora's cool corporate facade flickered.

"You do NOT address her so informally. She saved me. When your little friend Sailor V killed me, she found me. She brought me back. She promised me that I would never be alone again. She would love me. The world would love me. One day, I would rule as her queen. The new Queen of the Dark Kingdom. YOU TOOK THAT AWAY FROM ME!"

 _slap_

Pandora was angry now. A slap to the face had Mercury seeing stars. Didn't matter. Mercury found a soft target and pushed on.

"It doesn't matter. She didn't want you. She chose me. She said so herself."

 _slap_

Another slap. The cut on her cheek split open wider. Mercury bit her lip and tasted blood - still better than screaming out loud though. She mentally apologized again to Katarina. Karma was a bitch coming around but she needed Pandora angry. Anger was good. Anger meant that Pandora was distracted, off balance, and more likely to let vital information slip. Hopefully something useful.

There was yet another energy signature in the room that Mercury couldn't get a proper lock on. Her visor reported an energy distortion by the door, but she didn't have the freedom to turn and look.

Three distinct threats. Pandora, the orb and...something else.

"What are you planning? All of this can't be just to cry about how you weren't good enough to host the evil bitch."

 _Crack_

Pandora punched her with inhuman strength. Her fuku protected her from massive internal damage, but Mercury felt several ribs give anyways. Simply breathing became a struggle. There was no holding back the scream that time.

Still, Mercury smiled through the pain. Her ribs weren't the only thing that cracked - the chair wasn't designed to withstand the force of two super-powered beings struggling. The right arm of the chair was broken and Mercury could slip free whenever she wanted. Her left arm remained locked in place however. Mercury tested the cuff again. No weaknesses. She had to keep Pandora talking.

"You have to know it's hopeless. I had Metaria in my head. I stabbed her in the heart then fed her to the Silver Crystal. She's gone. She _burned._ "

The words were out of her mouth before she could consider the tactical advantage of pissing Pandora off further. Mercury was getting too weak to concentrate fully.

"You arrogant fool! She never chose you...she wanted me. It should have been me. You were just the byproduct of the doctor I brought in to make our youma protoypes work. It was never meant to be you...I was to recreate the Dark Kingdom, my own lieutenants, my own Great Youma. I would have made Metaria-sama proud."

Q.E.D. Pandora's jealousy...her attempt to recreate the Dark Kingdom where she felt she belonged...and she wanted to make Metaria proud? Hard to imagine, but there it was. Indirect proof.

Mercury understood - painfully well.

"Who were you Pandora? How did you come to love Metaria of all things?"

"Love? You don't get to speak to me of love. You with your perfect face, and your perfect life. It comes so easily to you that you can't understand what love is."

For once, Mercury didn't have the energy to overthink this. Words that weren't entirely her own came forth from her heart.

"I do. Love is everything. It's passion, and beauty, and energy. Love is wanting to be your best for someone. Love is fighting to make things better. Love is wanting to protect someone. Love can be pain and loss but it's worth living for because love is the great mystery. Anything could happen. Without mystery, is there any reason to keep going? Tell me, what is love to you?"

That wasn't bad, as far as potential last words went. Mercury was struggling to stay conscious at this point. Love. Her friends. They were coming for her. She had to stay alive for them.

* * *

'STAY ALIVE'. The words blinked one last time as her visor disappeared. Mercury no longer had the energy to sustain the device.

Pandora noted the absence of the visor with pleasure.

"Good. Now I am sure we are are alone now. I was wondering how long we'd have to keep up this charade."

Pandora recovered her composure, but Mercury had seen behind the mask for one critical moment.

"The other senshi. They must be concerned. So worried about their poor little Mercury being tortured by the evil Lady Pandora. They are going to run straight here to rescue you right? Perfect. You say you understand love. So much the better. See how you feel when I take away the ones you love. Just like you did to me."

A youma moved out of the shadows in the corner. The prototype "When". The last piece of the puzzle.

"Meet our final youma prototype, codename "When". The latest development in Dark Power, biology and nanotechology. As soon as your friends walk into this room, they will walk right into a distorted time field set up by my pet here. You will get to see them grow old and die right before your eyes. Won't that be something?"

Footsteps in the hallway. Time was running out. The orb was draining her energy steadily. She was quickly approaching the point where she wouldn't have the strength to fight even if she were free to do so.

The senshi were almost here. They were about to run into a deathtrap.

She had to stop this, but she was tied to a fucking chair. How could she be a Senshi if that simple thing stopped her. How could she fight?

Mercury struggled openly, pulling her right hand free form the broken cuff. There was no point in keeping that hidden anymore. She pulled at the metal cuff with all her strength. All pretense of calm abandoned. Time was running out. Pandora was about to win.

There was a way out. There had to be. She always found a way. She was Sailor Mercury. Senshi of Intelligence.

She saw weakness, and exploited it.

There was weakness here. There were limits to the human body.

Mercury channeled her power inwards, willing the ice to come to her aid. Power flowed into her trapped hand. The bones froze from the inside. It felt ironically like a fire burning within. Mercury hesitated a moment. She wondered if even her Senshi healing powers would be able to recover from what came next.

No matter. She'd found a way out.

Her bones were just about frozen to the point of brittleness now. Weakness. Mercury reached across with her free right hand and crushed the trapped left with all the strength she had left. With sickening crunch, she was free. Her broken left hand slid free from the cuff.

Mercury stood up, moving on will alone. It wasn't over yet. She estimated that she had seconds before she went into shock - or worse. The orb was still draining her life energy.

One attack. Three targets.

Time to choose.

Mercury looked at the woman who started her journey to darkness. Pandora was distracted, staring at the door and waiting for her youma to act. Even the orb was neglected in favour of that bit of theater.

Anger welled up in her soul. She drew upon it for power - she needed it now. No time for half measures. No second chances.

One attack. Just one and it was over.

The power was there. It was always there. It had always been there. It will always be there. Mercury looked down and let power rush through her, cold and deadly. The words came to mind as she drew breath to summon her element.

"MERCURY AQUA MIRAGE!"

A cataclysm of water roared at her target. The youma disintegrated instantly. It died without even making a sound.

Just in time. The senshi threw the door open and ran into the room.

* * *

 _A.N._  
 _Darn. It looks like Sailor Moon Crystal just started using Mercury Aqua Mirage in Season 3. That kind of kiboshes the impact of it in this story a little :(. The interpretation of "Mercury Aqua Mirage" as a straight up murder device was inspired by it's comedic use in "Ami's First Love" where it basically OHKO's the monster of the week...and more interestingly, by it's possible aborted appearance in the Sailor Stars episode 191 "When A Light Butterfly etcetc." (Aka, the episode with the video game convention where Ami basically wins the tournament to talk to Taiki, and then a phage attacks). Mercury starts to power up for SOMETHING in that episode, but Taiki interrupts. I've always wondered what might have happened if he didn't show up..._


	17. The Light at the End

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Act 3: Coming Home

 _Chapter 17: The Light at the End - wherein light is cast into the darkness_

* * *

Jupiter cursed. The connection to Mercury just blinked out.

She heard Mercury scream somewhere on the floor above them...and then the connection blinked out.

Jupiter didn't know what that meant. She forced herself not to think of the worst. Mercury wasn't dead. She couldn't be. She'd simply turned off the connection because there was some advantage in doing so.

She tried desperately to reestablish the link, but she had no idea what she was doing. All the stupid little computer was telling her was that there was not enough energy. What the hell did that mean? And what the hell was Mercury doing? Goading Pandora on like that...

Another scream. This was unbearable.

Jupiter ran faster. Everyone did. There were up the stairs now. The door was in sight. A new message appeared in front of her eyes 'DON'T HESITATE'. Jupiter growled. More cryptic messages. She really hated these damn goggles, so she willed them to go away. There was a fight up ahead. Jupiter couldn't deal with the distraction.

Then she heard the words. A new, yet familiar, command.

"MERCURY AQUA MIRAGE!"

Mercury was still fighting! She was ok!

Jupiter threw herself at the door. It burst open easily. She all but fell into the room. Venus was one step behind.

Mercury. Where was Mercury?

"Pandora! You again?! Step away from Mercury! I am your opponent now!"

Venus took charge of the situation before Jupiter could get her bearings. All she saw was Mercury falling to her knees in a room full of broken shards of ice. Whatever happened here just now, it was over.

Belatedly, Jupiter noticed the other woman. She must be Pandora.

Venus' Love and Beauty Shock sizzled across the room. Pandora jumped back as it cut between her and the obviously hurt Sailor Mercury. Jupiter was off and running before Venus started her command.

"Jupiter! Go! Now! Get Mercury out of here!"

Jupiter ran to Mercury's side along with Sailor Moon while Mars took up an attack position next to Venus.

"Mercury! Talk to me! Are you ok?"

Sailor Moon asked the obvious question. Jupiter needed to know as well. Mercury looked even worse up close. The way she held her arm tight to her chest did nothing to hide the extent of her injuries. Her chest flailed with every shallow breath and her left hand looked completely mangled. Jupiter hoped that the blood on her lips was just from the cut on her cheek and not some sign of internal bleeding. Worse of all was how pale she was...cold and gray. Nobody alive should be this pale...

Please, Mercury... say things weren't as bad as they looked. Jupiter hoped against hope for some reassuring answer.

"Sailor Moon...Jupiter!...You're here!"

Ami-no-baka! Of course they came! Now answer the damn question!

Sailor Moon knelt down to support Mercury as Jupiter stood guard over the pair. Despite the obvious pain, Mercury looked up with a relieved smile. Jupiter couldn't help but smile in turn.

It was a short breather in the midst of battle. The moment passed too soon. Mercury gasped out a request as she slumped forward into Sailor Moon's arms.

"...pass me...my...computer."

Jupiter handed it over. There was no time to argue. Mercury didn't look like she could last another 4 words anyways. Even holding the computer seemed to be too much. Mercury nearly dropped it before Sailor Moon took it from her.

Mercury's blue googles flickered on as she began to gather data. Her right hand moved with practiced ease over the computer now being held up by Sailor Moon.

Mercury seemed fixated on something. Jupiter followed her gaze. A floating black orb.

Sailor Moon gasped in recognition. Mercury's eyes widened - she found something!

The battle overtook them at that moment. There was no time to share the results. Jupiter saw a golden chain whipping towards the two distracted senshi.

A golden chain...Venus? What the hell was going on?

Dammit. She was fast enough to throw Sailor Moon and Mercury out of the path of danger, but there was no way she was going to get away clean.

This was going to hurt...

* * *

Was there a new enemy behind them?

Mars spun around to see what Venus had just attacked. There was no threat there. Just Sailor Moon, Jupiter and Mercury.

Mars looked at the Senshi beside her in shock. Venus had just spun around and launched a Love Me Chain at Usagi and the defenseless Mercury.

Mars felt frozen in horror. She was too far away to do anything about it. The moment seemed to last forever.

Jupiter! Thank the gods. Her fellow Senshi reacted fast enough and tossed Usagi and Mercury both out of the line of fire. Mercury hit the wall with a choked scream and didn't get up again. Sailor Moon landed on her ass but was otherwise ok.

Shimatta. No time to follow up. Jupiter was hurt too now. The Love Me chain caught her across the back. She staggered, but remained standing tall in front of Sailor Moon. With her Princess' safety secure, Mars prepared to go on the attack.

She summoned the Flame Sniper.

What the hell was going on?

She looked to Venus for clarification.

That didn't help. Venus had a panicked look on her face. A golden light filled the air.

SHIT!

Mars dodged the unexpected Crescent Beam. She released her arrow at the attacker instinctively.

MINAKO!

Venus flipped out of the way, fast but not fast enough. The fire arrow grazed her calf. Venus barely stumbled as she turned and gathered energy for another blast.

"MARS! Duck! Pandora! She's...controlling..."

A shower of Crescent Beams burst forth from her hand even as she called out her warning.

Mars' world narrowed to split second dodges and narrow escapes while waiting for an open shot at Pandora. She was doing something to Venus. This had to be her fault somehow. If this fight didn't end soon...

Mars refused to speculate on the future. She was in a fight. There was only the now.

"Sailor V! No...Sailor Venus! I had been wanting to see you again. Since you killed me all those years ago, I believe I owe you one death...with interest. I shall enjoy seeing you kill your friends."

"Melt..again...you...smelly...old...hag..."

Venus choked out the words as Pandora increased her power.

Mars remembered now. Pandora. She used some kind of mind control power to get an army of civilians to attack Sailor V years ago.

She should also be dead. Sailor V killed her with a Crescent Beam.

Then again, every single person in the room should be also be dead as well.

So...how were they going to get out of this alive?

The Crescent Beam shower had Jupiter and Moon locked down behind a pillar. Mercury still hadn't moved from where she'd landed. Mars was getting scared. She had to do something fast.

Mars watched Venus carefully. She was the leader of the Senshi, and the toughest person she knew. No way Venus was going to let Pandora control her without a fight. Mars had to be ready.

There. A signal. It was quick, but it was Venus.

Venus flicked her eyes to a spot in front of Pandora, and then at the orb. After years of fighting and loving each other, Mars understood her meaning.

Pandora was an idol. She knew how to handle idol types. They were all massive drama queens. She would want Sailor Venus to hurt in the most dramatic way possible.

Mars dodged yet another crescent beam as she rolled into position.

Kami-sama, this had better work.

"Venus! My Eternal Love! Don't make me do this! I can't... yet I must!"

She summoned her Flame Sniper to her and held it aloft. Her hair was probably whipping dramatically in the wind and everything. If this didn't work, Mars was fully prepared to die of embarrassment.

It worked. Pandora took the bait.

Venus' body turned and began gather power. Mars held her bow, waiting for the right moment.

Now!

"VENUS LOVE AND BEAUTY SHOCK!"  
"MARS FLAME SNIPER!"

Mars jumped up high arc. She released the Flame Sniper at the apex of her backflip.

Perfect shot. Her arrow flew true, its point shattered the dark orb. Mars could feel the heat of Venus' Love and Beauty Shock as it shot by under her.

Venus hit the unsuspecting Pandora dead on.

The beautiful idol screamed as her face melted under the light of Venus' power once again.

The fight was over.

* * *

When Mercury woke up in Sailor Moon's arms, things were eerily quiet.

The dust had settled. Pandora was kneeling by the broken shards of the orb - alive, but oblivious to the world around her.

The senshi watched her warily, but they were quiet as well. Pandora was clearly defeated. Good triumphed over evil. They had won.

No one seemed to know what to do next. This was no resolution.

Mercury struggled to stand in the awkward silence. She had a promise to keep. Ribbons of blue light flared, and then she was just Ami again.

Moving was painful, but Ami forced herself to continue. Up. Off the ground. On one knee. Stand. Walk.

This was her fight - between Mizuno Ami and Pandora. The moment was critical. The right words now could lay both their ghosts to rest.

Speak.

"Pandora, stop. That was never going to work."

Ami's voice sounded weak even to her own ears, but Pandora heard well enough.

"It's over Pandora. The orb. It wasn't working anyways. Metaria's essence is gone. There was nowhere to channel the energy."

The woman was crying now, the deep shuddering sobs of someone who had nothing left. Ami staggered over and knelt by her side.

"She saved you, gave you what you wanted most...and you truly believed her...I remember Metaria too. I understand you."

Ami felt sick. She remembered the voice of Metaria in her head. The things she had said, the power she had offered. Absolution, freedom, peace. Metaria had offered her exactly what she'd wanted most. Walking away from the darkness was the hardest thing she'd ever done.

It was only though her friends that she'd had the power to say no.

This woman, Pandora, she never had that chance. She was alone. Ami remembered Minako's stories of her days in London. There was a sister too, a sister that went down the same dark road and died for it.

What was her life like then, that Queen Metaria appeared a shining beacon of hope?

"What did she promise you, in the beginning?"

Ami didn't doubt that Pandora would answer honestly. They were past the point of lies now.

"...my dream. She offered my heart's desire. That I would take the world by storm. Be the idol of the century. The beautiful Pandora. She came to me. I said yes. She made me what I am today."

Pandora looked at her with dead sunken eyes. A corrupted dreamer.

"I understand. She offered me the world too. Promised me the power to never be weak again. I believed her too...it wasn't all lies. I wanted it so much. She left out one thing though. Life isn't something someone can just give to you. It is something you have to create for yourself. My friends showed me that. Without them. I wouldn't have had the strength to say no. "

"It's too late. Just look at me. I can't go on like this."

Ami smiled at her kindly.

"It's not the end, not until you give up. Do you know about Sailor Moon? She can help. Let her heal you too."

Pandora nodded and closed her eyes. Ami looked to her Princess.

"Now, Sailor Moon."

Ami stayed by Pandora's side as Sailor Moon used the Silver Crystal. This time, when the light flooded out the world, it didn't hurt. It was just beautiful.

* * *

 _A.N.  
Wow. I know I say this alot, but thank you again everyone for reading my story._

 _So here we are. The battle's done, and they kind of won...so we sound our victory cheer..._  
 _Where do we go from here?_ _\- Joss Whedon, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Once More With Feeling_

 _We go onto Act 4 - Ami Redux  
_

 _Up next: Chapter 18 - Aftermath._

 _Reviews/PM always appreciated and often replied to._


	18. Aftermath

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Act 4: Ami Redux

 _Chapter 18: Aftermath - wherein Jupiter tallies up the recent victory and finds it lacking. Also, the beginning of the end of our story._

* * *

Jupiter had been through the aftermath of hundreds of fights - possibly thousands. Whether a battle as Sailor Jupiter or a street fight as Makoto, the aftermath was remarkably similar. There was always a quick high – the thrill of victory, or just plain survival. Then came damage assessment and a short window of opportunity to tie up any loose ends. Right before exhaustion sets in. After that, real life began again for better or worse.

Sailor Moon and Mars had taken charge of the newly healed Pandora. The Silver Crystal removed her Dark Power. It restored her face and body to the person she was before she ever met Sailor V and Queen Metaria. Pandora was restarting life as a regular human. Naturally, the best place for her to begin life anew was with the Ayakashi Sisters. If anyone could help her readjust, it was Koan, Berthier, Calaveras and Petz. They knew what they were doing and were happy to help. The sisters loved life on Earth now and always hoped that there would be others who could be redeemed like themselves.

Jupiter frowned and stretched her back uncomfortably. She had a wicked bruise forming between the shoulder blades from when Pandora used Venus as an attack dog. On the injury front, there were minor burns and bruises all around but Ami was the worse off by far. Pandora tortured her even before draining her energy. Jupiter was now very seriously reconsidering the second chance they gave her.

Ami insisted that she didn't need to be taken to a hospital again. There was no way of explaining her injuries, especially in light of how recently she was just _in_ the hospital. A crushed hand, cracked ribs and more or less a stab wound in the face a mere 2 months after being admitted with a gaping chest wound. Any idiot would be suspicious.

Damn Ami and her cold logic. She was impossible to argue with, not that Jupiter didn't try. In the end, Venus made the call and reluctantly agreed to skip the hospital. They were headed to Rei's temple instead. Jupiter would have to have words with her about that later.

Tuxedo Kamen arrived too late to help in the battle against Pandora, but not too late to help carry Ami back and bandage her up. At least he was a trained doctor as well. That was somewhat reassuring. He and Ami argued back-and-forth the whole way. Jupiter caught words such as "pulmonary contusion" and "hypoxia" between rooftop jumps...not that she understood what those things were. She hated hospital jargon as much as she hated hospitals. Besides, it didn't seem relevant. She suspected Tuxedo Kamen was just arguing for the sake of keeping Ami awake anyways. Jupiter herself hadn't been able to contribute anything beyond a useless comment on how Ami better not be lying about how seriously she was hurt.

They detransformed when they arrived at the temple. Makoto helped Mamoru settle Ami into the spare room, while Minako went to distract Grandpa or whatever. Makoto wasn't really up to keeping track of things anymore.

She tried to make herself useful. Cutting bandages, fetching disinfectants and the like. After running out to Mamoru's car to get his medical bag, Makoto walked in on Ami talking Mamoru through the treatment of something called "compartment syndrome". It sounded so horrible that Makoto was sure she wasn't understanding things properly. Then the scalpel came out and treatment began. Mako ran out and spent the next 10 minutes helpfully puking in the bushes.

Minako came outside to find her few minutes later. Even the normally unflappable blonde looked a little green. Sometimes medicine was just butchery wrapped up in science.

Mamoru had to leave after that. It was past dawn now and he had a morning shift at his clinic he couldn't avoid without arousing suspicion. Before he left, he asked Makoto monitor the Mercury Computer. It was set to scan Ami's lungs every half hour. Mako was to call immediately if any new white splotches turned up on screen.

Officer Aino left next. She also had work, but at least she'd be patrolling out of a nearby police station box all day in case anything happened. Thankfully, Ami seemed to be stable right now, and was even getting some sleep despite the crazy amounts of pain she must be in.

Makoto was now alone at the temple with nothing to do. The only thing left was to clean up the mess. There was blood all over the impromptu field hospital that used to be Rei's spare room.

Finally. Something she could help with.

Makoto was long past exhaustion. Real life was kicking in now. It wasn't much of a lie when she called in sick to her bakery and asked her staff to cover for a few days. The strain in her voice was obvious. Her employees understood what they thought they understood.

She hung up the phone and got to work. Rei and Usagi still weren't back yet. She assumed they were helping Pandora readjust to her new life.

That didn't seem fair. After everything she'd done. Pandora gets to start over with a clean slate. She wasn't lying on a futon waiting to die of white splotches on a lung scan or whatever.

Mako scrubbed fiercely at the tatami mat by the door. How could they just let her walk away like this? This wasn't justice. That bloodstain was never coming out. Mako screamed in frustration. She really needed to hit someone right now. There was no reason to hide her tears. She was alone anyways.

"Don't worry about it. It was due to be changed anyways."

Grandpa Hino puttered into view holding a tray of tea. Mako started to panic. She'd forgotten he was around. There was absolutely no way to explain what was going on here. Hell, _she_ didn't even know what was happening anymore.

"Don't worry Kino-san. I know. I always knew. My Rei is a special one. Sailor Mars. Hah! Of course she would have an affinity for fire."

Makoto was taken aback. In retrospect, this explained alot, but it was still a surprise to her.

"How come you've never said anything Hino-ojiisan?"

"I'm not here to tell my story Kino-san. I had no reason to tell you until I was needed."

He ushered her out of Ami's room and into the hall.

"Come. Tea first, then we will take the mats outside. The stain will be there when we get back. It will remain so no matter how hard we scrub. Best thing to do would be to let it go. The mat is not worth keeping if we must redefine our standards of cleanliness to keep it."

Makoto felt sure that Grandpa wasn't referring to the mats any longer.

* * *

The Computer between its 11th and 12th diagnostic when Makoto felt a light prod at her knee.

"Mako-chan? Mako! Are you alright?"

She shook awake. When did she fall asleep? She was supposed to be watching over Ami.

"Huh? Wha? Ami-chan! You're awake! Thank goodness. I was so worried."

Makoto was wide awake now. Ami continued to look at her with worry. Makoto was simultaneously annoyed and overjoyed by that. Her emotions were a hot mess right now. Dammit. She was just sitting here like some idiot and Ami was still waiting for some reassurance.

"I'm ok. I'm ok. Just fell asleep. Everyone else is fine too. No one's hurt. We're more worried about you."

Ami tried to sit up and look around. Bad idea. A coughing spasm stopped her halfway. Mako gently forced her to lie down again. The girl needed to be protected from herself. Ami grunted a sound that sounded like "thank you" as she settled back in the futon.

"Thanks again Mako. Sorry. That was a bad idea. Where's Usagi?"

"She and Rei took Pandora to the Sisters' house. They should be back anytime now."

Ami smiled weakly at that. Mako was surprised. How was she ok with this?

"Good. She'll do well there I think..."

Makoto couldn't help the bitter tone that crept into her voice.

"Ami, she tortured you...I can't just forgive that. I mean, just look at your hand!"

The smile faltered. Ami wasn't as ok as she was pretending to be.

"Not Pandora's fault. I did that to myself. Mamoru and I set the bones as best we could, but it's likely a mess in there... strange...it doesn't hurt as much anymore?"

Ami started to look a bit scared at that. Mako couldn't stand it. Grandpa Hino might be right, but it didn't mean that she had to _like_ it.

"I don't care who did what Ami! Seeing you like this...after everything Pandora's done. I'm not ready to forgive her. This isn't fair. How are you able to just let her go like this!?"

Ami closed her eyes a moment before she answered.

"Please don't think I'm being completely selfless here Mako. I needed to forgive her. That was for me. I'm tired of carrying around all that anger and hate. If I killed Pandora...it would have just been for revenge. I'm not sure I'd be able to come back from that. I couldn't kill her. Especially not after I came to understand her."

There was a pause. Ami was taking a moment to collect her thoughts or catch her breath. Mako wasn't sure which.

"We talked. She said had a dream once, and Metaria took advantage of that. Corrupted her. I couldn't help but wonder what her life was like that Metaria seemed the better option. Don't forget. I've had Metaria in my head too. I've listened to her. If she had come to me before I met Usagi. I could have easily been Pandora."

"How!? You are nothing like her."

"I'm not so sure about that Mako. We both wanted something more from life, and we were both tempted to say yes when someone offered it to us. Take the easy way out. She said yes, and I said no. That's the only difference between us... but I didn't do it by myself. I had help. I had all of you. I wasn't alone. I think Pandora was when Metaria first corrupted her. How could I feel anything but pity for someone like that? I couldn't kill her just for being human. Just like I have to stop punishing myself for the same thing."

Makoto started to calm down, trying to see Pandora from Ami's perspective. She decided to let things go for Ami's sake. It wasn't her place to argue.

"Ami, I'm glad you've got that figured out. One day, you are going to have to go over all that with me again. Slowly. In detail."

Ami's laugh quickly turned into a wince. Mako glared at her in mock irritation until she settled down.

"Sorry...sorry. I'll be more careful...It's just I know you Mako...you would have come to the same opinion in time..."

Ami frowned, her eyes narrowed in thought.

"..You saw everything between Pandora and I in real time didn't you? That wasn't my intention when I gave you the Computer. I'm sorry you experienced that... but I'm glad you figured out the Computer so quickly. I think it likes you. Your message...it got through. That kept me alive in there with Pandora."

"Oh? What message?"

"I saw it in my visor. "Coming to you. Stay alive."...I needed to see that. Thank you Makoto."

The angry knot inside Makoto dissolved further. Things seemed to be working out for the best.

"I'm glad you got that. Oh! How are you feeling by the way? Sorry. I should have asked right away. You look pretty beat. Maybe you should get some more rest? Unless you are hungry or something? I can probably whip something up..."

Makoto wasn't sure where the sudden nervousness came from, but she was saved by the bell. The Computer pinged in the background. 12th diagnostic had begun.

Ami perked up at the sound.

"Is that the lung scan? Can I see that a moment?"

Mako passed her the mini computer as requested.

"Amazing! Look at this! Senshi healing powers are really quite something."

A few keyboard taps later, Ami turned the screen to point something out. Makoto took her word for it. It all looked kind of like black and white blobs to her. Yes. It was amazing. She wasn't sure what Ami was looking at, but Makoto grinned anyways. She was just happy that Ami was up and being well...like Ami again. Curious, inappropriately fascinated by science Ami. Maybe she was just loopy from the painkillers? No...she knew Ami had refused them last night. This was just Ami being Ami.

Right now, Ami seemed genuinely happy. Mako was so relieved that she thought she might cry.

"Mako-chan? Are you sure you're ok?"

Makoto laughed. Turns out she actually was crying. Happy tears.

"I'm fine. Great even. I'm just happy that you're being...well...like yourself again!"

Ami looked away and tapped a couple of buttons on the computer. She very carefully took a deep breath and watched the results on the computer screen before she answered.

"You're right. I do feel like myself again. I mean, not physically. Physically I can't decide if I need coffee more, or a blood transfusion. Ugh... sorry... Other than that, yes, I feel better than I have for years. I'm glad to be back..."

Ami's voice trailed off. Her eyelids were starting to flutter. Mako wasn't sure if she was joking about the blood transfusion thing or not. Ami started to reach for Mako's hand, but stopped short just before they touched.

"I'm sorry Mako. I'm having a hard time staying awake all of a sudden... Maybe you should leave and go get yourself something to eat?"

There was a flash of _something_ between the lines there. Mako decided to throw caution to the wind. She was the Senshi of Courage afterall.

"Maybe I will...but let me stay with you. Just for today...at least until you fall asleep. It'd make me feel better."

Mako took the hesitant hand gently. That earned her a grateful smile in turn. Ami was back now. There would be time to talk later.

"Thank you for understanding. I'm glad you're here Mako."

Ami's smile remained as she fell asleep. Makoto thought that despite the bandages, she finally looked at peace with herself. That was worth something. She was in a better place now than she had been for a long long time.

Makoto watched Ami sleep for a short while before sneaking away. She turned the light off on the way out. After so many hardships, Ami deserved her rest.

* * *

 _A.N._

 _Sidenote: Grandpa tells his story in my other fic : "Rei and Minako: Immovable/Unstoppable" Chapter 3._

 _Up next: Chapter 19 - By My Mother's Grave - Ami asks an indulgence of Usagi as her journey comes to an end._


	19. By My Mother's Grave

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux  
** Act 4: Ami Redux

 _Chapter 19: By My Mother's Grave - wherein Ami begs an indulgence of Usagi, and frankly dear readers, so do I._

* * *

 ** _Several weeks later..._**

It was a beautiful spring day. The city was full of people enjoying the season – with the sunlight, festivals and fresh seasonal foods how could they not? Life was as sweet as strawberries. The scent of cherry blossoms filled the air as they have for centuries past. Thanks to the efforts of the 9 magical warriors guarding the city, the cycle of the seasons would continue ever onward.

Ami breathed deep of the fragrant spring air and smiled. Earth and flowers with a hint of rain. Her analytical mind supplied the word "petrichor", but Ami dismissed that factoid as irrelevant. The important thing was the moment itself. While she might be more attuned to winter, but she had come to love spring. It was the time for new beginnings. For the first time in a long while, she looked forward to the future. It was time to lay her ghosts to rest. Today was a day for life to begin anew.

She looked around cemetery. It was a quiet place. Ami wanted to visit her mother's grave as soon as she was able. Usagi was happy to come with her.

She couldn't move on with the future simply by forgetting her past. There were rituals she felt the need to observe. Together, she and Usagi took their time cleaning the headstone. The rational part of her brain again cut in with the thought that this was pointless, but was dismissed as well. She was a person, not an automaton. It was human nature to grieve just as it was a human virtue to learn from the past. She wanted to be here even if she couldn't explain why.

The headstone was clean now. Ami ceremonially poured a ladle of water over the headstone. The water flowed into the words carved on the stone. "Mizuno Saeko".

Ami knelt at her mother's grave and lit the incense sticks she'd just purchased. She fumbled a bit with her broken hand, but soon enough a new scent filled the air. Usagi took her cue and handed her a bouquet of white chrysanthemums to place in the headstone's attached vase.

She'd met Usagi in the spring as well. May 2nd. That was the day her life had changed forever. That was just over 10 years ago today. She's lived several lives since.

The incense burned slowly. Ami bowed once. The past was satisfied now, the future waited her to begin.

"Usagi-chan. Thank you for bringing me here. I've been looking for a chance to speak with you alone."

Ami broke the silence. She'd asked Usagi to come with her today for more than just moral support. There was something she needed to say to Usagi privately and this was the first time they've been alone together in about 6 years. Ami needed to explain herself to her first and best friend.

"I have a confession to make. I've always lied about that night with Viluy and the nanobots. When I said I didn't remember anything. I lied. I remember standing over the woman as she was dying, and just taunting her. "Machines don't have hearts. Science doesn't need hearts"...I said that to a dying woman. The last interaction she had with the world was me telling her exactly why she deserved to die. What kind of person does that make me?"

It was a rhetorical question. Ami didn't wait for Usagi to answer before continuing. Besides, she already had a good idea of what Usagi might say and that wasn't the point she was getting at anyways.

"I am someone that can stab their mother in the heart without hesitation. I can betray all my friends, abandon my responsibilities and just...detach. I knowingly and intentionally caused you all pain by my actions. I am capable of pretty much anything."

Ami said all that matter-of-factly, even with a slight smile on her face. Usagi looked confused, but kept listening anyways.

"It feels good to say that out loud... I didn't want to feel like I was lying to you, even by omission. Even now, after everything we've been through together, it's still hard to be open about this. I can't reject that darkness in me...It is a part of who I am. My power comes from my intellect. That is the gift, and the curse of who I am."

Finally. Ami got to the core of what she wanted to say. Her soft voice carried on without hesitation. She was speaking from the heart now.

* * *

"...A falcon drops out of the sky and catches a rabbit. Do we call that evil? No, because that is it's nature. Alternately, a person shoots the same rabbit. Is that evil? In both instances, the rabbit never stood a chance. The the end result is the same: the rabbit is dead.

The difference lies in that a human has the ability to reason. We can ask why. Why did they do it? To feed a family? To defend a garden? To see something die? Just because? These reasons are not alike in nature, and who is qualified to judge? The only certain thing is that unlike the falcon, a person has intellect and is thus, is capable of either good or evil.

That's where the fog begins to form in my mind. Who am I? Am I good or evil? I can't help but see both sides of the spectrum. I don't think I ever had the innocence not to.

People aren't just good and evil, light or dark. They are both. A part of me tells me to forgive myself for that. It's just human nature. Another part of me automatically takes it to the logical extreme. I should more than forgive myself. I should just cut loose and fly high above others. Survival of the fittest, morality be damned. That thought terrifies me. My mother had always raised me to be kind and responsible to others and so, I wanted to reject that thought with all my being. I tried. I really did, but I couldn't. It was a logical conclusion. I couldn't argue with that. Logically, being human intrinsically means being capable of evil so why should I resist?

I dealt with the fear the only way I knew how. I constantly analyzed things. If could understand, then maybe, I could control things. I asked questions. What if I'm wrong? Am I just making excuses? Am I the only one that feels this way? What if I'm not good enough? What if I hurt someone? What if I just didn't care anymore? The more I asked, the less I understood. I always had more questions. Ten million questions, day in day out. It's exhausting. There was nothing I could believe in. I couldn't help it.

Sometimes, I question so much that when life actually does happen, I didn't care anymore. I'd already lived it a thousand times in my head.

Days would just drag out, hours, minutes, seconds, all heading to the same end. Life felt like a waste of time. Until I met you, I didn't have much motivation to do more than just go through the motions of life. I imitated the outside world well enough, but I never felt truly a part of it. I felt alone. Academics became my only refuge. It was the only area where there were right and wrong answers. I could excel and not hurt anyone in the process. It was a relief, but I knew it would not last forever. I thought that eventually, the day would come that it would be easier to be the falcon and take off into the blue. I'd still be lonely out there, but at least I could fly.

That's who I am at my core. That is who I was when we first met, and that is who I will always be in some way. It wasn't until I met you that realized there was more. You showed me how to believe.

I saw in you someone who a reason to get up in the morning everyday. You believed in yourself, and in the possibility of tomorrow, even though there is objectively no reason for anyone to do that. I wanted so much to understand how. You showed me by example. The answer was love. You love this world, and the people in it. All the ones in your life, the ones you have yet to meet and even the ones that you will never meet. Life...love...that was something I've always had trouble with. It seemed too much a miraculous thing and I was too smart to believe in miracles. I learned better after I met you.

It was the most amazing revelation that the world had a heart as beautiful as yours. You were proof that miracles were possible. You are a miracle Usagi. I still think back to the day we met and wonder who I'd be if things hadn't happened exactly as they did.

That day in the arcade, did you know that you were the first person to call me 'Ami' in years? Just hearing someone say my name aside from my mother...it was a reminder, and a gift.

That's everything I needed. A simple reminder that I was a person, and that being a person wasn't so bad because humans were capable of love. You taught me the at love was a mystery that didn't need to be solved. I understood then that the joy of finding out what happens next was your reason for living.

I started to open myself up to the possibility that I could share in that too. We became Senshi together then we met all the rest of our friends. It was wonderful. My life had meaning, and I was finally doing something that I could be proud of myself for. Sure, there were difficult times too, but it was all worth it. We always came though it together. I was happy then and the future seemed bright.

Then suddenly, I lost all that. I killed my mother. For you. I stopped believing in love altogether. What good was love, when it forced me to choose? My mother, who loved me, or my Princess, whom I loved? We both know what happened next. I killed my own mother in the name of love.

Love led to pain. I felt betrayed by that and I wanted no part in it. That was my life while I was away. It was cold and empty, but it was _mine_. The only person that I was responsible to was myself. No one to please or disappoint or protect or care about. It was easier to be alone.

It was freedom in a sense. That seemed better than the alternative. I couldn't stay here. Being in Tokyo, with you and Mako and the others...I was chained to my life.

When you looked at me, you knew me as Ami. You knew that I had chosen you over my own mother and that you _hurt_ for me. It was unbearable. It made more sense to hate you instead. You made everything too real. I was angry, and I was scared...the kinds of thoughts running through my head at the time...I hated you Usagi. You taught me to love, recklessly and without thought for consequences. Look where that got me.

Gods. How I wanted you to know exactly what I was feeling.

I couldn't stand to be around you when I was like that. Somehow, I was still afraid you would judge me for what how I felt, or worse, that I would act on my hate. I knew by then exactly what I was capable of.

I felt guilty for being who I am, while simultaneously feeling angry for not being myself. That's why I ran away 6 years ago. I couldn't take it anymore.

That night under Mugen, when Metaria sprung her trap, she spoke to me. She offered me an end to that guilt. A simple solution: Give up my humanity, and just...take off into the blue. No more fear, no more doubt. Power to do anything I desired. True freedom. Am I evil because I wanted that? I hid that side of me so deep that I never learned how to live with it.

By refusing to acknowledge my fears, I made myself vulnerable to Metaria. She preys on fear. She twists and manipulates it until it becomes intertwined with your every thought.

I need to thank Metaria in a way, because she brought me back to Tokyo. Seeing all of you. I started to feel again. I suppose she didn't understand what love was, or else she would have never sent me back as bait to draw out the rest of the Senshi. I'm speculating here, but I think it was her intention to use my body to kill all of you. That would have sealed me to her as a willing host forever. I know I wouldn't have been able to live with myself after that. Killing my mother broke me once already, and the very idea of hurting you was already overwhelming.

I'm glad she made that mistake though, because when I saw you and all the people I left behind, it reminded me that love was a good thing. I remembered all the times you've saved us and the world with the power of your love. I knew then that I could never hate you. That was the hope I needed to fight back.

I don't need to remind you of everything that has happened recently. I know that I was a complete mess coming back. I'm so thankful to have friends who would stay at my side even after everything I've put you all through. It's hard to call that anything but a miracle. Rei focused my anger, Minako showed me how to properly make amends, and Mako gave me the strength to keep fighting.

When I was trapped in that office with Pandora...I confess, even with all of your support, I still thought of killing Pandora. I didn't expect to make it out alive, but taht didn't seem relevant. I hated the Dark Kingdom so much that I was willing to lose myself for the sake of vengeance.

Jupiter's message pulled me back from that edge. My friends were coming for me, I had to survive for their sake. It was so simple. Just 5 words. 'Coming to you, stay alive'...but it gave me hope, and purpose. The message got through to me. Seeing her use Beryl's orb reminded me who the true enemy was, and more importantly, I thought of how you all saved my life over and over again. I knew then that I couldn't throw that all away for nothing. As much as I wanted to reject it at times, I still loved you all so much.

When Pandora's youma threatened your lives, I used my powers to stop it. It was a closer thing than I'd care to admit. Seeing Pandora's back turned, I knew I could have killed her right then and there...but I knew that you were coming. You were all about to step into a death trap. I couldn't stand the idea of that happening.

I got angry, not for myself, or for anything that happened to me, but because the people I cared about were in danger. That distinction made all the difference. I was able to reach into that emotion for power. I've always stopped myself from doing so before because I was afraid to.

I wanted to use the power I had as a means to protect the people I love, rather than as a weapon to hurt my enemies. My perceptive changed. I am a solider, not a killer. I was finally able to forgive myself for my mother's death then. I can begin to mourn her properly now. I didn't kill her because I loved you more. She died because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

That understanding was far more important than any satisfaction I could have gained from petty revenge in killing Pandora. She was already a broken woman. When I saw you. I knew you could heal her. I had hope. I believed again, and if I could be saved, then maybe Pandora could too.

It has been difficult to say the least over the past 6 years, but I am better for having faced it instead of running away. I will always miss my mother. She was my hero growing up. She taught me respect and responsibility for others. Without her, I wouldn't be here today. She called me her hero too once. I would like to honour her memory by being that hero once again."

* * *

With the weight of that confession off her chest, Ami felt so light it was almost a physical feeling. Letting go of that burden, she was free to stand tall, jump, laugh, run, sing, dance. Anything at all. Maybe this is what happiness felt like.

Ami looked around, taken with a sudden sense of whimsy. This seemed as good a place as any for what she had in mind.

"One more thing. Usagi, I know you don't like this sort of thing, but forgive me one indulgence."

Ami winked at Usagi as she formally dropped to one knee. A senshi before her Princess. Maybe she'd been hanging around Haruka and Michiru too much, but this seemed appropriate for the here and now.

"I, Mizuno Ami, Sailor Mercury, soldier of Love and Intellect, hereby swear to fight for love and justice and to protect the innocent. I will always remain at your side and protect you from harm. You've saved my life and countless others with the power of your love. I swear, by my guardian planet, from now on, I will try live in a way that honours your philosophy, both with myself and with others."

The playfulness faded away as Ami got to her point. She was dead serious now.

"I needed to be honest about who I am before I made this request. Do you trust me to stand at your side again Usagi? You and the Senshi are the most important people in the world to me. No more running away. No more giving up. I am Mizuno Ami. I promise, I will always be here for you. Will you accept me as I am?"

Usagi fell on Ami in a giant hug.

"Ami-chan! Of course! I love you too. I never doubted you. I'm so glad you're ok! Thank you for sharing all that. I love you. You belong here. No matter what."

The incense had burned out by now. The two friends laughed as they left the cemetery together. For one, laughter was the language of her soul. The sound of joy came as easily to Usagi as breathing. For the other, it was a new day and a new beginning. Her name was Mizuno Ami, and she had a life to look forward to.

* * *

 _A.N._

 _That's it Ami. Tell us how you really feel._

 _That was a 2000 word monologue. That's the indulgence this humble author asked of you all earlier._

 _*exhales* Wow. This is it. The emotional arc of this story has come to an end. Its been a long 19 chapter, 40 000 word journey to acceptance with Ami. I sincerely thank you dear readers for coming along on my biggest Sailor Moon fan fiction yet._

 _Of course, life goes on. One more epilogue chapter coming up._

 _As usual, Reviews and PMs are welcome._

 _Special thanks to everyone who I've had a chance to correspond with over the course of this story. Cheers to you all._


	20. Ever Onward - 1

**Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux** **  
**Act 4: Ami Redux

 _Day 1: Ever Onward - wherein life goes on, and we see a small slice of it some 16 months later._

 _Thank you for being here with me!_

* * *

 _ **16 months later**_

"Scalpel"

The requested instrument was placed in her hand. Ami took it and made a careful incision. She was ready for the next step.

"Forceps please."

Now came the delicate part of the operation.

She pulled back the fluff and carefully placed the magnet inside FishyHayase-chan.

There. Perfect. Now to stitch it back up. If she did the math correctly, Hotaru's favourite stuffed toy goldfish would now be a _levitating_ stuffed toy goldfish - when the proper electrical currents were applied of course - that's what Makoto was here for.

Kino Makoto - tall and strong and beautiful and always there for her. Ami's heart skipped a beat that it shouldn't have.

Hotaru's giggle distracted her from another gratuitously masochistic session of admiring Mako from afar. Ami looked at her kid saviour archly, then winked.

"Surgery is serious business kid. Now pass me the 3/8 circle needle."

"Not yet nee-chan! You forgot the resistor in the tail chip again!"

Ami checked the tail.

"Oops, you're right! Pass me the resistor then! Sorry, I keep forgetting we redesigned the tail to accommodate that lightbulb you wanted to put in its butt for whatever reason."

Hotaru laughed out loud at the word "butt". Senshi of silence she might be, but she was still a 9 year old child.

"I thought it would be pretty! FishyHayase-chan looks like a firefly now and it was a good way to disperse of the waste energy from the solar generator _you_ built for the navigation sensors...Also, I think Chibi Usa would love it."

Ami stuck her tongue out at Hotaru.

"It's not my fault we have laws about thermodynamics...but yeah, you're absolutely right Hotaru-chan. That was brilliant. Hey! When did Setsuna say Chibi-Usa was visiting again? Next week? Let's test the new propulsion system today so it's ready to show her. I want to see FishyHayase-chan race Luna-P ball for real this time."

Makoto cut in with a deadpan observation.

"Ami-chan. I don't get a word of what you two are talking about...but did you just get out engineered by a 9 year old? I never thought I'd see the day."

Hotaru blushed at the compliment as Ami responded.

'I believe I did...but in my defense, this is a pretty special 9 year old. Right Hotaru-chan?"

Ami gave Hotaru's hair a quick ruffle as she stepped back from the worktable.

"Ok, done. Hotaru, tools are secure? Good...good...ok. Makoto, your turn. Can you run say...15 volts through to the antenna?"

Makoto hooked up the wires to the battery and charged up the round fish doll as requested. Ami looked on anxiously alongside Hotaru. This was the moment of truth.

"Alright...15 volts. Got it...

Mako blinked as she turned her head back and forth between the two geniuses.

"Wow...did anyone ever tell you that you too are starting to look kind of alike? "

Ami and Hotaru looked at each other and shrugged. They did that identically too. Makoto shook her head with affection as she tossed the remote control to Hotaru.

"Hotaru-chan, will you do the honours?"

The kid made a dramatic show of pressing the big red "on" button. It was a wonder that she didn't start cackling and shout "IT'S ALIVE!".

 _ZOOM_

FishyHayase-chan lifted off the table and flew out the door.

 _SMACK_

Everyone in the room winced. That sounded exactly like flying stuffed toy on human flesh...

Ouch. Haruka was lying just outside the doorway with a big goldfish imprint on her face.

Michiru's voice drifted calmly out of the living room.

"Haruka dear... I told you that you didn't need to check on them."

Haruka sat up to defend herself.

"What? I can't help but worry! Last time I left them alone together, they took my car apart!"

"Sheeeeesh...Haruka-papa! We put it back together after!"

"Yeah, but now it's all fuel efficient and everything!"

Hotaru pouted back at her Haruka-papa.

"What's wrong with that?"

Michiru answered on behalf of her fiance.

"Nothing. Haruka just misses the _vroom vroom_ noise it used to make. Feel free to ignore her honey. You two did great. I love it."

Ami reached down to help Haruka up. She grinned at the taller woman sheepishly.

"Sorry about the car Haruka-san...and the goldfish. Hotaru and I kind of get carried away sometimes..."

"It's all good. My fault. There's no place to duck in this hallway! Nice place you've got here by the way."

Ami swept her arm out over the apartment while everyone else laughed. She narrowly avoided smacking the wall with that grand gesture.

"Nice...but just kind of small though right?"

'Small' was an accurate assessment. It was a glorified shoe box in the sky, even by Tokyo standards. There wasn't much furniture yet aside from her worktable and a bed, but Ami was proud to call it her own.

Ami looked around her new apartment. Amazing how many people could fit in here if no one cared about personal space.

All of her friends were here for a house warming party. She could see or hear just about everyone from where she was now. Hotaru, Haruka and Mako were here with her in the bedroom/workshop. She could hear Usagi in the living room with Rei and Michiru. From the sounds of things, she was busy trying to get them to play "guess what animal I'm thinking of". Michiru was deferring politely but Rei was yelling about how her sacred powers weren't just some party trick. Mamoru was probably there too, sitting quietly and wondering how his life got to be this crazy. Ami made a mental note to go save him later.

Next on the list...Minako. No sign of her anywhere. She was being suspiciously quiet? Ami frowned.

As much as she liked the idea of having her own apartment, Ami knew she was going to miss being roommates with the lively blonde. Everyday was something different there - and none of it taken too seriously unless absolutely necessary. Yes...she was definitely going to miss hanging out with Minako. Ami smiled at the fond memories. Life goes on. She had a new residency beginning at Juuban Medical University Hospital beginning next month. it made sense to move closer to her new job. After living with Minako for the past year and a half, it was about time to branch out on her own.

At least she was still legally required to check in with Minako for the next month or so anyways. Her probation was almost over - only year and a half sentence for hacking into the most secure bank system in Europe. Setsuna had to be the best lawyer in the world to pull off that plea bargain. Ami knew she was damn lucky that she didn't succeed in ruining her own life.

On that thought...where was Setsuna?

Ami heard the sound of running water from the bathroom. Well, that answered at least one mystery about the eternal time guardian.

Haruka and Hotaru were still going back and forth on the merits of fuel efficient vehicles, egged on by the occasional comment from Michiru. Setsuna wandered by to see what the commotion was about. She held the runaway floating fish ball in her hands.

"Ami, I caught FishyHayase-chan outside the bathroom. It levitates now? That's brilliant! Very cute too. Nice work!"

Ami blushed.

"Thank you Setsuna-san. I was inspired by Luna-P Ball. Hotaru contributed a good deal as well. Most of the stabilizing tail fins are her design."

Setsuna got a very strange look on her face.

"Wait...Luna-P Ball...inspired you to design...Lu- no. Wait. Nevermind. Don't answer that. I don't want to know. I'm going to go get a popsicle instead. Does anyone else want one? We should probably get some ice for you too Haruka..."

Ami laughed again as she considered how absurd the situation was. Poor Setsuna. Great mysteries of time and paradox aside, there were more important things happening right now. Popsicle or no Popsicle?

Ultimately, Ami decided that she didn't want a popsicle. Hotaru did however. The kid waved goodbye and followed her Setsuna-mama and Haruka-papa to the kitchen. Ami swore she saw the kid wink as she left.

Ami and Mako were left standing alone in the tiny bedroom.

* * *

Ami swung back and forth between two extremes. Should she be thanking Hotaru right now...or should she be plotting bloody vengeance?

Hotaru left her and Mako alone - probably _on purpose._

Things weren't difficult between them _per se_. The elephant in the room was just getting larger and larger.

Makoto coughed. The longer this "situation" went unresolved, the more it seemed to come up. It was getting uncomfortably stuffy in the small bedroom.

Both women searched around for idle conversation. Mako found her voice first.

"...so...I noticed your hand seems better. How's it feel?"

Ami was happy to answer and happier to break the awkward silence. She flexed her left hand and held it out for Mako to see. There was no tremor at all. A good sign after the amount of time she just spent tinkering with the tiny components of Hotaru's toy. It had been a year and a half since she'd crushed her hand to escape Pandora's trap, and it was only recently that she'd become fully confident in its use again.

"Beautiful...I can finally do that without shaking like a leaf. I think I'm about ready to try actual surgery again. I'm surprised it took this long though...I suspect that self inflicted injuries take longer. Likely some sort of loophole in our Senshi healing abiliites..."

Ami could have been talking about hand, but Makoto suspected she wasn't. Ami's face darkened and she seemed to give herself a little nod of encouragement before she spoke again.

"No, sorry Mako. I didn't mean to lie just now. I knew that as a fact already. For obvious reasons... scars seem to be the other exception to our healing abilities too."

Ami had her pick of scars to prove her point; the violence of the past 6 years were written all across her skin. Most visibly, the red scar Pandora cut on her cheek stood out like a tattoo of a kiss.

At least that was all in the past now. Mako moved the conversation ahead to focus on the future.

"Perfect timing Ami. You start your residency Juuban Medical University Hospital in a few weeks right?"

Ami followed the abrupt change in topic with a thankful nod.

"Yes. First of October. As soon as my probation ends. I start in general surgery...thinking of specializing in trauma surgery in the long run. I figure the patients there might appreciate a doctor who looks like they've been through some pain...and, to be honest, the adrenaline rush there appeals to me. I'm very lucky to get this opportunity - especially having a criminal record and all."

"I don't know. You've worked pretty hard. After everything that's happened, I'd say that you made your own luck."

They laughed together. The awkwardness faded as their natural friendship took over.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence Mako-chan. Not to undermine myself here, but they are planning to pay me next to nothing while working me to near-to-death...and I accepted that offer. That might be their main attraction here. I think I make more money fixing cars now than I will fixing people for Juuban Medical. Go figure. I'm ok without the money but I'll definitely miss the garage. Ichinose-san's a good person. She really took a chance on me. I owe Mamoru-san one for the introduction too."

Ami smiled, a charmingly crooked grin that very deliberately highlighted her facial scar. It was an odd little smile that Makoto had seen more and more frequently over the past few months. She didn't quite know what it meant.

"Ami-chan... I've got to ask. I've seen you do this alot lately. Why do you keep drawing attention to the scar on your face? Is that deliberate?"

"Oh! Is it that noticeable? Well.. yes...I guess it is sort of deliberate.I know it sounds strange, but I kind of like the scar there. It throws off other people's expectations of me immediately. I find it easier to be myself when I don't have have to pretend to be anything else. I guess that's why it's become a bit of a habit now...and also, it bloody well itches. "

Ami scrunched up her face and scratched at the scar like a cat. Makoto dissolved in a fit of giggles. It was cute, but it was probably a bad idea. Mako reached for Ami's hand to keep her from scratching.

"Stop that, it'll get infected or something."

Mako's hand covered Ami's in a loose grip as she pulled her hand away from the scar. They touched connected for a moment too long. Mako couldn't bring herself to let go, nor did Ami slip away. Neither wanted to break contact. Hand in hand, they tumbled across the invisible boundaries they had set around themselves.

Mako was first to step back with an apology.

"Sorry Ami. I didn't mean to be awkward. I'm kind of an oaf like that. It's still hard to be so close to you, but not touch you."

There was Kino Makoto, once again bravely charging head first at love - no matter how badly she'd been hurt in the past. Simply brave and honest because that's who she was. Ami felt her heart swell at the proof of this woman's courage, and then break all over again for the pain she caused to this beautiful soul.

Mako looked at Ami intensely, trying to read the thoughts behind her silence.

"Are you alright Ami?"

Ami swallowed the urge to lie. 'Nothing's wrong', 'Just tired' 'Doesn't matter'... The words came to her automatically. A year of effort doesn't easily override a lifetime of training.

Mako deserved the truth from her. She's more than earned it. Ami looked away so as to not make this more difficult.

"I was thinking that that one day, I hope I'll be able to look at you without being sorry."

"I hope you will too. This sucks. Anything I could do to help?"

Ami exhaled a rueful chuckle at Mako's bluntness and the irony of her offer.

"Maybe you could try being less kind and wonderful and understanding? That might help."

Ami's poorly timed quip crashed and burned. It hit too close to home to be taken lightly.

"...I'm sorry again Mako, this isn't your fault, and it isn't fair to you. It's not fair to me either. I see you here, trying your best, and then it just hits me how much I don't deserve you and how I have nothing to offer that's worth your while. I want you so much, yet I can't stand the thought of you being with me. I'm afraid of hurting you again."

"I told you before. I don't care. Maybe you will, maybe you won't. Life isn't fair. Nothing we do or don't do is going to change that. We can only hope for the best."

"Mako...you're always so brave. Once we start down this road, there's no turning back..."

"Hey...I'm scared too Ami. Downright terrified. I remember how I felt when you left. I don't want to ever feel that again."

"And I wouldn't want you to either...Gods. Look at us. This is almost almost funny, in a tragically ironic way. I love you. You love me. This shouldn't be that complicated. But it is."

"Well, we can't help that can we? Life happens. Maybe we are both to blame here."

"...Or possibly just me. It's ok Mako. You are allowed to think that. I'm the one that keeps putting the brakes on things. Even Hotaru tells me I'm being an idiot, and she's 9 years old."

Makoto laughed out loud at that. Ami grinned back honestly. There was a pretty short list of people who were comfortable calling her an idiot, and her little friend was frequently numbers 1, 2 and 3 on that list.

"Out of the mouth of babes right Ami? Nah. It's ok. I don't think it's just you. We both need to figure this out together or else it wouldn't work. I wouldn't want to risk our friendship for anything either. Besides... you're not the only one who's been told they were being an idiot. I mean, just look at us! I wonder what our friends would say to us now?"

"Believe in Love! ...Or in the name of the Moon, Mars, Venus, and other assorted celestial bodies, we will punish you?"

Ami laughed at her own lame joke. Mako's good humour was catching on and she was trying to take herself less seriously. Ami knew more or less what her friends would say. 'Makenai!' She could practically feel a little cheerleader Minako sitting on her shoulder and shoving her at Mako. The mental image was amusing and not too far off from the truth. Real-life Minako had been on her case about this for the better part of a year now...

"Did you know that Minako still brings up that time I spent the night at your house? Damn ankle monitor."

"What? That almost a year ago! You just slept on the couch because Rei showed up to surprise Minako with those -"

Ami waved Mako off before the end of that sentence. She remembered answering the door that day and the crazy nosebleed she got well enough...oh the adventures of being Mianko's roommate...

"I know, I know. Don't remind me! You go clear that up with the 'Goddess of Love' though. She's convinced that we belong together forever..."

The off the cuff remark hung in the air. Just like that, the moment of levity was over. Ami knew there was no running away this time.

"Mako. I've been putting this off for a while now, but I need to ask you something. My mother's grave. You took care of it didn't you? I didn't ask at first, but the gravestone was clean the first time I saw it. I know I don't have any other family...so...it was you wasn't' it?"

Mako nodded.

"Thank you. It means the world to me. I could never thank you enough. I need to know one thing though. Why did you do it?"

"Why are you asking now?"

"I think I'm ready to know. Please, just answer my question."

"It was for me I guess...at first, I was waiting for you. I kept hoping I'd find you at the cemetery. It was the only physical tie you had left here. Over time. I accepted that it wasn't going to happen. I let you go and moved on with my life. I mean, I'm the first to admit that it didn't go spectacularly well, but it was something. Just by then, your mother started to feel a bit like family to me personally... I couldn't just let her grave go neglected, so I kept it up. I'm glad I did. You did find your way home after all."

"I did. It was a long time coming. You know, Mother was always fond of you. I think she'd approve."

Ami held her hand out to Makoto.

"... still I'm glad you were able to move on Mako-chan. I'm not the same person I was before. Maybe that means we can get a fresh start."

Mako took the offered hand with a smile.

"Works for me. I like to think I've grown up some over the past 6 years too."

"It's been a long time. To a new beginning then. What happens next Mako?"

Mako pulled Ami closer in response. Ami slid into the embrace easily. They stared into each others eyes. The moment could have gone on forever and neither would have noticed.

"OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE! In the name of love... JUST KISS ALREADY!"

Ami had no idea when Minkao had arrived, or how long sh'e been watching form the hall, but she was happy to take her advice. She leaned up closer to Mako's beautiful blushing face and whispered the one thing she'd feared she'd never say again:

"I love you."

They kissed.

* * *

 _\- The End -_

* * *

 _A.N._

 _To everyone that thought Minako was joking about that ankle monitor back in Chapter 13...she wasn't._

 _Sounds like there's more story there...and I wouldn't be the Drifter if I didn't write it. The story continues_ with _a comedic interlude titled "Blue Fuku, White Collar" and again in a romance serial titled "Ami and Makoto - 5 Years and a Day"._

 _Now, seriously. It means alot to me to be able to finally write and share my little slice of Sailor Moon fandom. From the first publication of Ami's Story in 2009, to this chapter in 2016. It's been a long ride. My thanks yet again to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, and favourited. I hope you all enjoyed the journey._

 _Right now, I'm going to kick back and enjoy the big happy ending. I couldn't help myself. It had to be Mako/Ami. I am a big romantic sap. The story ends on a kiss and I think they've earned it._

 _Until then, cheers to you all,_

 _\- Drifter_


End file.
